THREE'S A CROWD.

It was January in 1972, when he strolled into her workplace, a buzzing record shop where she had worked for the last year. He purchased a record by Melanie called Candles in the Rain which was the album that everyone wanted to add to their collection that summer. She was instantly attracted to him and as she served him he flirted with her, just enough for her to know he liked what he saw. He had a delightful twinkle in his eye that gave him a friendly approachable look. Ellie was used to men pursuing her as she was very attractive with thick, long dark hair and intense blue eyes. She had a friendly, almost flirtatious manner that drew not just men to her but women liked her as well. She had never had a relationship with a man who was so much older than her so she was surprised to find herself accepting a date with him. She was 20 and he was 8 years older than her and this was a whole new experience. Even though he was still in his 20’s he seemed so much older to her but she soon saw the advantages of being with a man, not a boy. He knew how to converse about interesting subjects and he listened to her views and made her feel like she was the only girl in the world when he was with her. He had a wonderful car that had luxury leather seats and a fabulous sound system that certainly made their dates even more pleasurable. She was used to young men who had slightly shabby cars or ones that were ridiculously loud and meant to impress.  

She was not the type of girl who was overly impressed by material things as she had been brought up in a family that had experienced difficult times in the past and she valued the important things in life like love, loyalty and family. Like any young woman though she enjoyed dressing up and to have male attention. Michael was from a well to do family who owned a large property north of where her home was situated. Her parents’ farm was very small in comparison.

Ellie was not very knowledgeable about the more sophisticated aspects of life like dining in an up market restaurant or going to a concert as opposed to a music festival. This was the 1970’s and unless you lived in a city, life was not that sophisticated for most people. Her social life up until then was the drive in theatre where most of the time was spent wrestling to disengage herself from some boy who seemed to have more arms than an octopus. The picture theatre after a pub meal or a ride on a motorbike on a Sunday afternoon was generally the extent of her dates with young men. 

Michael had been involved with a young woman a few years older than herself, for six years and she had broken it off in the last six months. She lived on a large farm quite close to Michael’s family so they had known each other for most of their lives

She was very attractive, not beautiful but tall and rangy, whereas Ellie was small and pretty. Bridget seemed more worldly than Ellie but was definitely a girl who liked living in the country. She liked horses and played local sport and attended social functions in the area where they lived. Michael met Ellie after his break up just when he was getting used to being unattached again. 

The first serious date was very nerve racking for Ellie as Michael had booked them into a beautiful restaurant with waiter service. She dressed with great care in a flattering dress. The material was soft and silky and showed off her small but curvy body as she walked. She was very nervous that she would do something embarrassing like use the incorrect cutlery or drop some food on the table, choke or a hundred other scenarios that she imagined. Her father gave her some tips about the correct cutlery as he had attended boarding school when he was a student and knew the rules about such situations. Michael eyed her off approvingly when he saw her and she felt glamorous as she stepped into the car as he held the door. The plush smell of the leather and the music playing on the sound system was exciting for her and she wondered what her girlfriends would say if they could see her now.  

The restaurant was softly lit and the music was low and moody. The food was like nothing she had ever eaten before as she was used to plain home cooking. There were no disasters but she cleverly avoided the honour of cutting through the Bomb Alaska (which was a popular dessert during this period}. Alarmingly, the waiter set it alight with brandy but then she realized that this was quite normal so she tried to look unimpressed.

Michael visited her family home on many occasions and her brothers and parents liked him. Her mother thought he was just right for her daughter. He was relaxed at her home as there were no frills but it was a welcoming home. Everyone congregated in the kitchen where the warm, slow combustion stove made it cosy and there were all the wonderful aromas of home cooking. When Ellie visited Michael’s home, it was certainly grander than where she lived. The rest of his family welcomed her but she felt a vibe from his mother, even though polite there was a certain reservation that did not make her feel comfortable. After a number of visits Ellie found she could not crack through his mother’s reserve. She was not sure if perhaps she still wanted him to be with Bridget or if she did not think Ellie was the right fit for their social world. Whatever it was, Ellie was not going to try to be anything but who she was and so she just tried to converse with Michael’s mum as much as she could but she always felt that she was being frozen out. His brother was very welcoming and she sensed that he would gladly take Michael’s place if he had a chance. He did not have the same quiet charm that Michael exuded but she thought they would become good friends over time. His older sister who lived in the city visited sometimes and Ellie liked her. She drove a sporty 1966 Classic Mustang. Ellie admired it a great deal and used to tell Michael that she was going to buy one when she made it in the world. He said “ I will buy you one, just pick the colour!” It was a little joke between them.  

They had not made love and this was probably more his decision than hers. She thought that he was taking it slowly because he was older than her. They certainly had a passionate relationship. Sometimes both were nearly tearing each other’s clothes off but it did not go any further. He told her he wanted their first time to be special and memorable. In a way she was glad that he was taking it slowly as it increased the desire and anticipation. He told her that before Christmas he was going to the city for shopping and he wanted her to come with him. He said “We will stay in a hotel for the night”. Ellie thought that this was when they would finally be together. She was glad that he wanted it to be special for their first time together. After he made that statement she day dreamed constantly of waking up with him in the hotel wrapped in his arms. 

She knew that Michael saw Bridget sometimes as their families were good friends but he said even though it was all over with Bridget they would always be friends. Ellie thought this was a sensible situation. 

One Saturday night he had arranged to collect her at around eight pm and then they were going into the town for a cocktail and afterwards they would go for a dance at the local club. She was all dressed and waiting but the evening wore on and he did not arrive. She did not hear from him and in those days there were no mobile phones so she thought he must have got held up somewhere. Eventually, she got a ride into town with her brother and headed off to the local club for some dancing. As usual she had no shortage of men wanting to dance and afterwards she told one young man that he could walk her to a cafe for a cappuccino where she would meet her brother to get a ride home. Just as they crossed the street she saw Michael’s car parked and he stepped out, looking very perturbed and a little silly, still wearing his tennis gear from that day’s match. He looked embarrassed and wanted her to talk to him but she quickly acknowledged him and kept walking. Next morning, Michael arrived at her home and tried to explain that he got held up socializing after the tennis match. She accepted this but one part of her was wondering if Bridget had been part of this socializing. She did not verbalize this thought but decided not to seem too keen to let him off the hook. Keep him guessing she decided. She was falling in love with him and knew that it would be heartbreaking to lose him now. 

Around that time he told her that Bridget was having second thoughts about their break up. He said that it was definitely over and that he knew he wanted her. She could feel his affection for her growing everyday but there was that niggling thought that maybe one day the familiarity of his relationship with Bridget might take him away from her. Apart from this small, niggling doubt about the future of their relationship she was on a high as they drowned in their passion for each other. Ellie knew it was more than that crazy passion you have at the start of a relationship because Michael was holding back from making love to her. They shared lots of interests so they conversed and laughed with each other. They were never bored with each other’s company. Her family became more and more fond of Michael. On the other hand though, Michael’s mother never embraced Ellie so she always felt that she was intruding in the family circle. 

Michael found Ellie so refreshing and unpretentious. She made him laugh. He loved the way she would just race down to the beach in her lunch hour have a quick dip in the ocean and head back to work all fresh faced with damp hair. She would jump on the back of a motor bike that belonged to one of her brothers' friends and disappear for an afternoon. He thought she was unique and so loveable. 

She was looking forward to Christmas as they were going to do the shopping trip to Melbourne and have a night in a hotel which she was looking forward to very much as at last she would be with him, hopefully in every way.  

During November, Michael’s parents had a number of local people visit for a day of tennis at their private court. Afterwards there was a barbeque in the garden. Ellie did not play tennis but she watched and enjoyed the company of the people who were visiting. Bridget took part in the tennis and later she was there for the barbeque. Ellie did not worry about this as she felt very secure with Michael as he made sure she was enjoying herself. Ellie never struggled to mix socially as she could make good conversation. Apart from anything, Ellie had never been insecure about men and relationships as there were always plenty of males pursuing her and she had lots of male friends as well. 

During the barbeque Bridget came over to Michael and whispered something to him. Her manner was proprietorial towards him which surprised Ellie a little but she thought this was probably a habit because of their long relationship. She did feel a little left out because Michael’s mother was obviously very fond of Bridget and made sure she showed it, whether to upset Ellie or to show Bridget she was still a welcome part of their circle. Ellie decided not to let it upset her as all that mattered was that she was with Michael and he wanted her. However, later when he was driving her home in the early hours of the morning, he was quiet and there was an uncomfortable atmosphere between them that had never happened before. She talked to him but he seemed to be deep in thought. Ellie had very good instincts when it came to people, so she could feel a tension radiating from Michael. When they pulled up in her driveway it was around two am, chilly and dark with mist all around. He sat there without saying anything and could not look at her. Ellie could not bear the tension and she said “Is there something bothering you Michael?” He replied that there was something he had to tell her but he did not know how to say it to her because he knew it would hurt her deeply and this was the last thing he wanted as he said that he was in love with her but was torn between her and his old love Bridget. He said that Bridget had told him she wanted to resume their relationship as she had made a mistake by breaking up with him. He said that she had fragile mental health sometimes and he did not want to upset her. Ellie thought that Bridget might not have realized what she gave up until she saw him with another woman. The thought came back to her that perhaps he felt that he would be safer with a relationship that was more familiar even if he was falling in love with her. Her instinct was right. 

He made his choice that night and trampled on all her dreams for the future. 

Fifteen years later Ellie was living a different life to the one she had in her hometown. Having moved to another regional city she had left the life behind that had included Michael. Her heart ached for many months after Michael left her. After moving to another city she met someone that she came to love just as much as she had loved Michael. She had a successful business and had travelled to many places in the world. 

One weekend when she had been in her relationship for thirteen years she made the trip alone down to see her family in her old hometown. They went to a local hotel for dinner. Ellie was standing at the bar buying a drink when suddenly she heard a familiar voice beside her that she thought she would never hear again. “Hello Ellie, I can’t believe it is you”. Turning around she looked into familiar deep blue eyes, into a face that she once adored. She took a short intake of breath and tried to still her rapidly, beating heart. It was such a shock to see Michael that it took some time to compose herself. She felt like a tongue tied teenager for a few moments. Eventually she gained her composure and they had a conversation about their lives since they had parted. He told her he was still married to Bridget and they had three children. She told him that she had a wonderful partner and a great little business and that over the years had managed to see the world and that she had one daughter.

He walked outside with her as it was now late and the hotel was closing. “ I have to tell you Ellie that I never stopped loving you and I was even thinking of you on my wedding day, which I know sounds unforgivable”. “ It was not that I did not love Bridget but it was safe and familiar to me and I was being pressured not just from her but from my mother." " I had to make the decision whether to take the risk that things would work out with you long term or if I should go down the safe road with Bridget, which is what I did in the end” “ I was a weak man and I felt like the biggest cad the way I treated you that night”. “Michael” she replied, “ you married the right girl and I am glad that you left me as I have had an incredible life that I might not have had if I stayed here.” “ You caused me to cry a thousand tears but they were the tears of a young woman who had not even started to live.”

Ellie sensed that he wanted to see her again but she looked at him and said "Goodbye Michael, I am going now.” “Which is your car?” he said. “ Where are you parked?” “ I am right here in the Red Mustang.” He smiled and said “ I did not get to buy it for you after all.” “No, I bought it myself”!

She drove away slowly.  

She was once again that young girl from so long ago, standing all alone in the darkness of the night watching the tail lights of his car disappearing into the swirling mist, into his future that did not include her. She stood there with an aching heart, her body racked with sobs, all her hopes and dreams of their future diminished to nothing. 

Suddenly she was back in the present and as she looked in the rear vision mirror she saw a lonely figure standing in the dark.