The Letter

The Letter

By Andy Pearson © 2023

Joshua Weston moved the cane to his left hand and pushed on the door with his right. It swung open slowly. The cowbell hung above the door clunked and clanked as the door struck it. Getting his balance, he shifted the cane back to his right hand and stepped into the lobby of the post office.

Walking past the rows of tan mailboxes, each with a little window showing the edges of the mail inside, he made his way to box one hundred and forty. Looping his cane handle over his blue jacket-clad arm, he reached into the pocket of his tan twill pants. Pulling a set of keys out and twisting them around, he found his mailbox key. Working it in the lock, he swung the small door open. 

He pulled the mail out of the box. Rifling through the contents he found a flyer for Johnson’s Hardware, a circular for Weston’s pharmacy, which made him smile, and a small slip of yellow paper with his box number written on the back. 

Turning the slip over, he realized it was a call slip for something being held at the counter. 

“Humph...Junk and probably more junk,” he said eyeing the slip and the ads.

He closed and locked the little door, and dropped the keys in his pants pocket. He put the yellow slip into his jacket pocket. Getting a grip on his cane, he made his way to the counter after dropping the circulars into a trash can by the door.

Leaning the cane against the counter, he pulled the yellow slip from his jacket pocket and laid it amid the various taped-down postal service reminders. A young man wearing a green apron walked up to the other side of the counter.

“Yes sir.  What can I do for you?” the man said happily.

“Well, Mark,” Joshua said leaning forward and reading the name tag on the apron. ”I received this slip in my box and am wondering what it might be.”

Mark took the slip and turned it over. “Box 140?” 

“ Yes please,” Joshua said.

“I’ll be right back,” Mark said as he walked away from the counter. 

He returned quickly with a letter and a piece of official-looking stationery. 

“Let’s see.” Mark said looking up with a smile and showing Joshua the stationary,” I’ve never seen one of these before. It’s from our Dead Letter Office in Omaha. They track down the owners of lost letters.”

Mark read through it in silence and looked at Joshua. “This letter- your letter- was found in a decommissioned mail truck. It’d fallen behind a piece of interior paneling and just sat there.”

Mark looked at the envelope some more. ”It sat there a long time. Anyway, after it was found, the good old USPS took its time getting to it, but they finally got around to tracking you down. They found you here in North Platte.”

“May I have the letter?” Joshua asked, his hand shaking as he extended it across the counter.

“Oh yeah. Sure. Here you go.” Mark said handing the letter across.

Joshua stared at the envelope. It was dirty and stained. The long-canceled stamp was pink. Joshua recognized it. A six-cent airmail stamp. Looking at the return address, he drew a deep breath. Kearny, Nebraska. 

The handwriting on the envelope was familiar. It ran through his life. He’d seen it on letters, signed on checks, on grocery lists, birthday cards, and notes in his lunch box. It was Maggie. Maggie who had been gone for so many years now.

The letter was addressed to him at an address that was even more startling.

“Are you ok?” Mark asked from across the counter.

Joshua looked up and realized he was still in the post office.

“Yes. I’m sorry. This is just … so … surprising.” Joshua replied.

“It looks really old,” Mark said leaning over the counter and pointing at the stamp on the envelope. ”We don’t sell them. I’ve never seen one.”

“No. No, I don’t imagine you have.” Joshua said absently.

“And the address is an APO. That’s military, isn’t it? Were you in the military?” Mark asked brushing his lanky blond hair back from his forehead.

“Yes. A long time ago. A long time ago.” Joshua said turning the envelope over in his hands. The back was as grimy and stained as the front.  

“Wow, this is exciting,” Mark said watching Joshua not open the envelope.

Joshua studied the address. He remembered it well. Battery B 555 FA BN APO 301. The 555th Field Artillery, Battery B, APO 301. That address would have taken this letter to Korea in 1953. He hadn’t thought about those numbers or Korea in years and still, he knew them intimately. 

The memories once faded and ghostly came back full of color and life. He could smell the dirty, acrid coal fires and the sour, fermenting smell of kimchi. He felt the Korean cold. The weary bone-breaking freezing wormed its way into every layer of clothing and hugged his body cold. He remembered George and Sam and Ralph. They were there in his memories along with so many other faces and names. These moments hadn’t been resident in decades and now returned in technicolor with surround sound.

Joshua shook his head clearing the memories. With his finger, he loosened the flap and opened the sealed envelope. The paper inside was clean and white. The fold creases were sharp. He saw the writing. Maggie’s without a  doubt.  A young Maggie, but still unmistakably her. He held a letter he’d never gotten from her. A time capsule in their relationship waiting to be savored. His heart buoyed.

Dear Joshua, 

I must break off our engagement.

Joshua stopped reading as his head came back sharply. He stared at the line, but couldn't see it. He turned to the envelope and looked at the address. It was addressed to him. 

He didn’t understand. He and Maggie were married soon after he returned from Korea. They had three children. They had seven grandchildren. They were married for almost fifty years. 

He read more.

While you have been gone, I have fallen in love. It was not planned. I thought I loved you, but after spending time with Richard, I realized that I am in love with Richard. I’m so sorry. I know that this is not the time to tell you, but I felt I must be honest. 

“Are you ok,” Mark asked coming through a door and around the counter to Joshua.

“What? Oh yes.” Joshua stuttered quietly.

“You look a little pale and unsteady and you got quiet standing there.”

“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m fine. This letter is a surprise after all this time.” Joshua said.

“Would you like to sit down?” Mark said indicating behind the counter. ”I’m not supposed to have anyone back there, but you look like you need a moment.”

“No, but thank you. I really must be going.” Joshua said trying to collect himself.

“Are you sure? You look a little pale. Should I call someone?” Mark asked looking at the elderly man who appeared to be shrinking in front of him.

“No. There’s nobody you need to call.” Joshua took a deep breath. ”Perhaps I will sit a few minutes in the back.”

Mark opened the door through the counter and helped Joshua navigate it. He settled Joshua in a tattered roller chair at a pale green formica table with chips on the surface. He brought a cup of water in a paper cup, placed it on the table, and sat down with Joshua.

“I don’t want to keep you,” Joshua said.

Mark waved his hand,” Oh, I’m due a break and I can see the counter from here.”

Joshua leaned back and unfolded the letter.

Dear Joshua,

I must break off our engagement.

While you have been gone, I have fallen in love.  It was not planned. I thought I loved you, but after spending time with Richard, I realize that I am in love with Richard. I’m so sorry. I realize that this is not the time to tell you, but I felt I must be honest. 

Please forgive me and I hope that we can still be friends.

Maggie

Friends?

The amazing mother of their children. His closest companion for forty-seven years. They worked their way through college together. They opened the pharmacy together. They made it a success together. They were a family. They built a whole life together. A life in which he never had cause to wonder about its bedrock truths.

Friends?

After they sold the pharmacy and retired, they traveled like they'd planned. They traveled with Richard and Molly.  England, Germany, and France were their go-to destinations. They spent the holidays with Richard and Molly. They were present for the births of each other's children. The countless bar-b-ques, dinners, and projects they helped each other with were strands in the basket of his life. They were two men getting older while watching their families grow and move outward.

Joshua thought about Maggie. He remembered her getting sick. The doctors said cancer. They planned to beat it. They were stronger than cancer. Richard and Molly fought with them. He and Richard kept their hair shaved in support as Maggie lost hers. The doctors ended up being right. It wasn’t a fight they could win. Richard and Molly were there through it all. When Maggie died, Richard and Molly kept him and the kids moving until he could do it himself. 

Then Molly.  He was there when she passed away. A beautiful day on the front nine. They were playing as a slow threesome. Molly fell over walking across the green on the short third hole and was simply gone. The doctors said it was a massive heart attack. He pushed and cajoled Richard to rejoin the world. 

After that, it was just Richard and he and all the kids. The kids grew up together and behaved like siblings. Holidays were always together. The kids and grandkids all made sure that he and Richard were included.

This complete life they all lived felt solid. It felt honest. This letter shook everything. 

Joshua looked at the envelope again. The stamp was canceled in August 1953. He left Korea in September 1953. This letter wouldn’t have gotten to him in time even if it hadn’t been misplaced. He remembered getting off the transport ship and calling Maggie from a payphone. She was subdued. He thought was because her family was listening to the call. When he arrived at the train station in Kearney, she was waiting. 

He smiled. He could see Maggie in her best dress. The blue one. The blue one that he loved so much. He remembered the way it fit. He still believed he had never seen anyone so beautiful. She ran across the platform when he stepped down from the car. Her hat flew off. He grinned remembering how she slowed while looking back at the hat and then laughing, she ran even harder. They flew together and hugged longer than any two people ever did.  

            From that moment on the station platform, their lives moved forward in step. Joshua paused recalling one nagging detail. For a few months after his return, Maggie was interested in the mail. Interested in this letter he realized. This letter that never came.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Mark asked watching Joshua finish reading the letter again.

Joshua wandered the memories of a marriage nearly fifty years long and a life-long friendship between two families. He drew a quiet breath. He looked at the letter trying to divine its meaning then and what it meant now. With his eyes closed, he tried to imagine how to proceed with this revelation.  

He smiled and opened his eyes. Gently he folded the letter back along its sharp creases and fit it back into the stained envelope. He pushed the flap closed and smoothed it against the table with the side of his hand.

“May I borrow a pen?” Joshua said.

Mark reached into the pocket of his green apron and handed a blue pen to Joshua.

Joshua took the cap off and patiently wrote across the front of the envelope. Recapping the pen, he handed it to Mark.  

“Thank you,” Joshua said, and turning the envelope around, he slid it across the table.  

Mark looked at it.  

“Return to sender?” Mark read the blue writing and looked at Joshua.

“Yes. Please. None of those people live here anymore. They left many, many years ago and I wouldn’t know where to find them.” Joshua said happily. With that, he stood up, gathered his cane, and strolled out the door remembering it was almost time for brunch at the clubhouse with Richard.