Catastrophic Mission

I awoke from a long nap to the sound of a klaxon. Stretching, I reached up and knocked the alarm clock off the nightstand. It fell and shattered into hundreds of pieces. The pieces would eventually be picked up later, by someone else. I had too much to do to worry about that now. There was a  long day ahead of me and cleaning wasn’t on the list.

I headed downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Some of my family were already seated at the table. I climbed into the first empty chair I found and waited for my breakfast. When it didn’t appear as quickly as I wanted, I jumped on the table and started playing with the flower arrangement. The plastic flowers were among my favorite things to chew. However, I didn’t even get one bite before I was unceremoniously picked up and dropped on the floor.

“The nerve of some people,” I thought. I made a note to throw up in the middle of night as revenge. There was nothing better than watching a human step in a pile of your vomit while they are heading to the bathroom. I skittered across the room, dashing between the legs of the father as he entered the room. He stumbled into the counter knocking everything on it to the floor.

“I swear that cat is trying to kill me,” the Dad hollered. 

I wasn’t trying to kill him, but if that happened during the course of my mission then so be it... I knew their true identity. I knew who they really were. Don't let appearances fool you, underneath this cuddly exterior, I'm no ordinary house cat. My real name was Eldridge the Astute, but the family called me Scooter. Well, most of the family called me Scooter, the dad called me names I won’t mention here. I was sent here on a mission to infiltrate the family and learn why they were here on planet Earth.

The family was from a planet called Flynril in the seventh galaxy of the Allerain quadrant. It was only two planets away from my own home planet of Terclaw 1. We suspected that the family was sent to planet Earth  to learn the ways of the human race and report back strengths and weaknesses. Our intelligence suggested that the leaders of Flynril were, as we speak, preparing for an invasion of earth. It was up to me to stop the family and thereby stop the invasion. I wasn't the first choice on the list to be sent on the mission, nor was I the second or third. High command called me the “last resort.” All the good agents were either dead, missing in action, or deployed on other missions. It wasn’t that I was a bad agent…it was just that I wasn’t a good agent.

That’s enough backstory for now. I needed to meet with my supervisor and give my latest report. I headed upstairs and into the youngest child’s bedroom. Her closet was where I was able to contact my supervisor. I slunk inside and burrowed deep toward the back. Under some stuffed animals was a vent where I could send and receive reports without being disturbed. Being a cat had its advantages. I was able to fit comfortably in the small space despite my long gray hair and fluffy tail. 

I uploaded my newest report and waited for a response. While waiting, I pawed at a few dust mites floating in the air. I became so engrossed in the activity that I didn’t notice my supervisor until he cleared his throat. I turned  and saw my supervisor staring at me suspiciously.

“Yes, we may look like ordinary house cats, but that doesn’t mean that we should behave like one. We are highly evolved and intelligent creatures, so ACT LIKE IT!” As he shouted the last bit, some of his spittle flecked the screen.

“Sorry, sir, it won’t happen again sir.” I would’ve stood up and saluted if I had had the room.

“See that it doesn’t and enough of the same old same old reports. If you can’t send me anything better than your last two reports then I will take you off this mission.”

“Take me off the mission?” I replied in surprise. “There’s no one else to take my place.”

“In your absence, we have been able to train new recruits and they are within days of being deployed. My advice to you is to complete your mission in the next two days or we will send a ship to extract you.” 

Without so much as a goodbye or good luck, the screen went black. Staring blankly at the screen I was at a loss for words. I had only two days to complete my mission. How was I going to bring down Flynrilians and save planet Earth?

I crawled out of my hiding place and curled up on a pile of dirty clothes. They smelled like the youngest child, it was comforting in my time of stress. But the question remained, what was I going to do? My supervisor was no help and I was beginning to think that he didn’t like me anyway. Maybe a nap will help me clear my mind so I could come up with a way to complete my mission.

I awoke three hours later when the young girl scooped me up in her arms and yelled ‘Scooter’ while squeezing me tightly. It took all my power not to scratch and claw my way free. Finally, she set me down and I took off like a streak. I had to find another hiding place and fast. After that nap, I didn’t have time for cuddles, no matter how much I secretly enjoyed them. My supervisor was right. I was becoming more and more pet-like the longer I stayed on this mission.

I managed to find another hiding spot underneath the couch. Hopefully, this spot would afford me some time to come up with a plan. The plan, the plan. What was the plan going to be? It had to be fool proof and easy to follow. I couldn’t afford to mess this up. I didn’t want to be sent back to my home planet. Planet Earth was much nicer and had tuna fish. My home planet was mediocre at best and had no tuna whatsoever. Honestly, I could see why the Flynrilians liked the place.

What I thought would be a few hours hiding underneath the couch and plotting my victory, turned into twenty minutes that ended in abject terror as a bright light and a roaring noise rushed toward me. I bolted from what I thought was safety to see one of the family cleaning the carpet. “Where was I going to hide now?” My mind raced as I thought of possible places while trying to avoid the giant contraption intent on eating me.

I decided my best course of action would be to head outside. There was a giant tree in the backyard. The perfect place to sit  and think. I made my way to the kitchen and through the cat door affixed to the rear entrance to the Earthling domicile. Once outside, my hair stood on end. Another roaring, clattering noise was threatening me, this one much louder than the last. There was the father mowing the lawn and he was headed right toward me! I think this man is trying to kill me. I scrambled to the left and then to right, and just when I thought there was no escape, I looked up and there was the tree. Hastily, I climbed up the tree and settled myself on a branch as far away from the spinning blades of death as I could get. 

When the lawnmower was nothing more than a distant hum, I soothed myself with a quick bath and returned to planning how to take the Flyrilians down. Their plans to take over the world had to be somewhere, but where exactly? I knew it wasn’t in the daughter’s room. I had searched that room high and low. It also wasn’t in the son’s room or the mom and dad’s room. Maybe the bathroom? No, that was a stupid place to hide anything of importance. They would probably wind up flushing it down the toilet. Why couldn't they use a box like civilized creatures? There was a door in the hallway that I hadn’t checked, maybe the plans were there. The only problem was getting someone in the family to open the door so I could check. 

I decided that I would have to pull out all the stops to get someone to open the door. Time to be the cat that I knew I was. I noticed that the lawnmower had stopped so I made my way down the tree, across the yard, and back into the house. Trotting upstairs I found my target and put my plan into motion.

“Merrow…merrrow” I said while pawing at the door. I waited a moment or two to see if anyone was coming to help, but no one was. I decided to up the ante by increasing the volume of my pleas

“MERROW…MERROW,” I called and beat on the door a little harder.

That did the trick, the door to the little girl’s room opened up and out she popped. She was my favorite to be honest. She seemed to be the least annoyed with me and I with her. 

“What’s wrong Scooter,” she said as she walked toward me.

“Merrow...merrow,” I answered back and pawed again at the door. This was it. I was getting closer to completing my mission. 

She patted me on my head before reaching up to turn the knob. I braced for a mad dash into the closet. Just as she was going to turn the knob someone from the other side opened the door. There stood the Mom. In her hand she held a communication device. She leveled her gaze down at me and smiled with a malevolent look in her eyes.

“Sweetie, why don’t you take the cat outside? It’s such a nice day and he could really use some exercise.”

She knew! She had to know who I really was. My mission was compromised. There was no way out. The Mom continued to stare at me as I was carried down the stairs. I wanted to shout at her, scream that I knew what she and her husband were planning. The best I could do was a tiny merrow.

“That’s a good cat. It’s how a cat should behave.” She turned and walked back into the room while I was carried out to my inevitable doom.

The End