Hello Angel

June 11, 2015

            Today is a day I will remember forever. We’ve spent months hoping and praying for the day that we would get the news of our family expanding. That day is finally here. You’ve began making your way to us! We’re so excited to meet you. The moment I saw those two pink lines show up I was in disbelief, I thought for sure it would be negative AGAIN. I couldn't believe what I was finally seeing. I was so excited to tell your daddy and had absolutely no idea how I was going to do it.

After a little while of thinking I found a big box from the storage room and wrapped it up. I placed blue and pink bows on the top and wrote the words “stork delivery” on the side. Inside was the pregnancy test and a little onesie that said “Coming soon”. He was over joyed that our two person family was about to get a little bigger. We would soon have a little miniature mommy or daddy running around.

July 16, 2015

Hello my little Angel. I got to hear your heartbeat for the first time today. I went in for my first prenatal visit, since I’m so early they went ahead and did a ultrasound to get a better idea of how far along I am. I’m 8 weeks and 2 days. You’re due date is February 12, 2016. Your about the size of a sweet pea. When I looked up at the monitor you were just a little blob but you were my perfect little blob. The moment I heard your heartbeat I couldn't hold back the tears . On that monitor in front of me was MY baby. That I would hold and sing too, that would spit up and poop on me, but most importantly that little blob on the monitor was my answered prayer. The joy of becoming a mother to my first child was overwhelming and I couldn't hold it in.      

Sept 12, 2015

Today I am 16 weeks and 4 days. You are about the size an avocado and I felt you kick for the first time. Yay! I finally felt you move. I thought I would never feel you. I’m literally counting the seconds until I feel you again. It’s the most weird and incredible thing I’ve ever felt. I can’t feel you on the outside yet but I know it wont be long now.  

Oct 7, 2015

I went into the doctor again today, you’re doing great. I got another ultrasound, she examined all your baby parts to make sure you’re healthy and strong. While she was examining you we found out that you are a little boy growing inside there. I thought you had some pretty strong legs from all those kicks into my bladder. I can only imagine how big of a blessing it will be watching you grow from a small little boy to a handsome young man. I know you will grow up to become a talented and loving man just like your daddy. I’m measuring 20 weeks and 1 day, She said your looking great. I love you little man!

Nov 15, 2015

Hello little Man, You’re kicking up a storm in there. I feel like your trying to break free! You’re due in a few months. I cant wait to hold you for the first time. When I finally get to see the face of the little wiggle worm living inside me. I never knew it was possible to love someone you’ve never met so much before. I’m 26 weeks. This means your about the size of a zucchini. You’re getting so big. I feel fine, just have a little bit of the munchies. What I would really love to have is a glazed donut with a glass of cold chocolate milk. Yum! That sounds amazing. I think its time for me to get my munchies on. I will see you in a few months big guy.

Jan 17, 2016

            I had my baby shower today. I’m so grateful for all the people that came to help us out. You have no idea how many people love you already. We got so many things for your nursery, but my favorite thing we got is your hand knitted blanket from your grandma. She’s been working on that blanket since the day she found out she was having her first grandchild. We stopped by her house the day after we found out with a little coffee mug (Your Grandma loves coffee) that said “the best Moms get promoted to Grandmas”. The look on her face when she finally realized what it meant was priceless. She could barely see from the tears in her eyes. I couldn't help but laugh. I cant wait for you to meet her. She’s a great mom and I know she will be a great grandma too.

Feb 4, 2016

I was up all night last night having contractions. They came every 6 minutes and only lasted for 30 seconds. I woke up from a dead sleep in a little bit of fluid (maybe pee). Around 6 o’clock this morning when your daddy woke up to go to work they just stopped. I don’t know if I should go in or not. It was only a little bit and the pain stopped. If it gets worse I should probably go in

Feb 5, 2016

 The pain stopped for a while but I did have some mild contractions throughout the night. Your dad talked me into going to the doctor so I went . When she checked my dilation she said she thought I was leaking fluid. So she sent be to the hospital to get it checked. Sure enough I was! I was so nervous my hands were shaking and I could barely get words to come out of my mouth to speak. Your daddy was at work and I was all by myself. After what felt like eternity I was admitted into a room and hooked up to Pitocin. I haven't progressed at all, I’m not dilated or effaced any. I really don’t feel much pain at the moment either. I know its coming I'm so scared. I’m so close to seeing my baby for the first time! Yay! Ill see you in a few hours,

Feb 6, 2016

The epidural is finally in, I’m not feeling much right now. I was hurting pretty bad a little bit ago. Your daddy is here, he's been here for a few hours now. He left work when I finally got him on the phone and told him I was at the hospital. He was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Not knowing whether to sit or stand, to hold my hand or step away. It was killing him to see me in so much pain. We’re just hours away from holding you in our arms.

Feb 7,2016

You’re here! I can't believe you’re finally here! Your sleeping in the basinet beside me. It’s been an entire day since I wrote last. I’m exhausted and starving. Your daddy went to grab us something to eat from the cafeteria. I haven't eaten since 2 days ago. The nurses said I couldn’t eat because the medication tends to make people sick during labor.

At about 2pm, Feb 5th they started the Pitocin. I started feeling a lot of pain around 4am, Feb 6th. I asked the nurse if she could give me something to help me sleep. That stuff worked quick, as soon as the medication hit my veins my eyes became so heavy that I passed out in the middle of talking to your dad. I have no idea if I ever finished what I was talking about. I hope it wasn't important.

             I woke up an hour later to your grandma coming into the room. The medicine had started wearing off but I couldn't see straight. The entire room was spinning, I wasn't sure if your grandma was actually in the room or if I was dreaming. That is until I felt the worst pain of my life. You know in the movies when a cartoon character is walking down the sidewalk and out of the blue a piano comes smashing down. That’s how it felt.

             The pain got stronger and stronger. It became unbearable. By 6am I was begging for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was with another patient and said I couldn't have it for another hour. By 7:30 I felt like I was dying, I was screaming in agonizing pain. I knew if she didn't get in there soon I was going to go hunt her down myself. Not long after she came in.

She had me sit up straight while a nurse sat in front of me to hold onto. She told me to be very still while she stuck this huge needle into my spine. It took about 15 minutes for that to get into my system. I felt a lot better for a few hours. Around 3pm I started feeling a lot of pain again. By 4:30pm I was begging them to let me push. I couldn't take it any more. I was ready for you to be out! I finally reached 10cm around 5pm and they said I could start to push. They sent a nurse in there to show me the proper way to push but since I wasn't effaced enough she left me in there to push by myself for almost 45 minutes. When my contractions were back to back, I closed my eyes and they stayed closed until you were born.

            At 5:45 pm all the nurses and doctor came in. I had no idea because my eyes wear closed. All I knew was I needed to push and didn't have the energy for anything else. Your Dad was an excellent coach, holding my hand all the way through. After an hour and some minutes of pushing I finally heard that sweet beautiful cry I had only imaged until then. Your were born at 6:21 February 6th, 2016. At 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. Once you were out I opened my eyes to see your little face for the very first time and my exact words were “There’s my baby!”

Feb 9, 2016

            When I didn't think it was possible to love you anymore, they laid you in my arms and I finally had a face to put to that little blob I saw on the monitor all those months back. I saw the little feet that kicked my bladder for 9 months. I got to feel the grip of your tiny hand wrapped around my pinkie. I finally got to hold to my first born child. Its been an amazing few months, but now that chapter is over and a new one begins.

             Its been a whole 48 hours since you made your grand entrance into the world. It was a little earlier than planned. A week actually but I would do it all over again if I had too. The moment I held you for the very first time is a moment that is impossible for anyone to forget. Its just so magical it doesn't feel real. Its almost like a dream. That beautiful moment of you taking your first breath of air and hearing that sweet cry for the first time is the most amazing sound that will ever hit your ears. I look forward to the day I get to see how much of a wonderful and loving man you will become. Always remember my Son, no matter how big you get. You will always be the promise I knew God would keep. You are the gift that makes my world complete. You will always be my baby!

                                                                                                -Mom