Have we met before?

I was in a pub, a few weeks back with a friend. We were having a couple of cheeky glasses of wine after work, when it was my turn to go to the bar. It was extremely busy for a wednesday, but I suppose Wetherspoons is generally busy at any time. I had just got my drinks, when I turned and saw someone who looked awfully familiar to me, but I couldn't think for the life of me where. I didn't just want to turn around and say, do I know you? He'd probably think I was chatting him up, and although I found him undoubtedly attractive, I was nowhere near drunk enough for that type of awkwardness then! So I left it and went back to my table.

I returned to my table, and tried to pick up the thread of our conversation again, but my attention kept wandering back to this stranger, and Kay, my friend had noticed. “ Oh my god, Em, have you noticed that guy over there? He looks exactly, and I mean exactly, like you! Seriously, you could be twins! “

Ah, so that was why I thought I'd known him - we looked very similar! Well that was a mystery solved, at least. I brushed Kay off, embarrassed despite myself, that I’d practically found myself attractive, thank god I hadn’t gone over!

But it seemed he had noticed me, either that or the similarities between us, because he kept glancing over, him and his mates, and now he seemed to be heading my way. I flushed, but did that age old female thing of pretending not to notice, and found something Kay had just said hilariously funny. He got to my table, waited for me to stop laughing and said “ Sorry to interrupt like this ladies, but “ - turning to me - “ have we met before? It's just you seem really familiar, and my mates keep saying we look really alike. I can't see it myself, but have we met before? “

“ No, I don't think so, but I noticed you myself when I was at the bar ( my fourth glass of wine had loosened my tongue ) and my friend Kay here said the same thing, that we could almost be twins! Like you, I can't really see it, but I assumed that's why I thought I knew you….or at least we’d met before! “

I stopped abruptly, realising I was garbling, but something about his close proximity had made me nervous. Without being vain, he really was gorgeous!

“ Alright if I sit, my mates are just heading? “ he asked, already pulling up a chair. We spent the rest of the night chatting, until even Kay said she had to go. I found out he was a plummer, lived with 4 of his mates, he was 2 years younger than me and so on….and eventually, that he was adopted. And there it was. Could we be related? My mum had remarried when I was very young, and I'd never gotten to know my biological Dad….there was a chance, however slim, that we could be half brother and sister. I took a selfie of us both on my phone, and as we gazed at it - the likeness was undeniable.

He took my number, asked me to send him the photo, and we parted for the night. 

But over the next few days, he was all I could think about, him and the chance we could be related. But if so, why did we find each other so undeniably attractive? Surely that was unnatural, if we were related? I decided to do a bit of research. Ah, there was a name for it - Genetic sexual attraction, or familial attraction syndrome. It occurred when two people, separated at birth find each other again and can become confused in their feelings for eachother. It can include symptoms such as; being extremely aware of the other person, having a strong desire to talk to or be with the other person, being easily distracted, talking too much, holding hands or touching the other person and daydreaming - plus many more, but if these are the main symptoms I'd say we were both in deap trouble!

We met up again, to discuss this, and the digging we had tried to do from either side of our families. I'd asked my mum what had happened to my dad when he left, but she shut up tight as wire and said she had no idea, didn't want to know - and why was I asking her now, when I was in my 20’s? He didn't get much further, saying his adoptive parents were open to questions about his adoption, had told him at a young age he was adopted, but had adopted him as a baby and didn't know anything about his biological parents. They had signed a form saying they didn't want contact with him when he was 18. They were very sorry about this last part, but it meant he couldn't contact or even find out any information about them at all.

So here we are, a couple of months down the line and, as hard as it is sometimes, trying not to give into our growing feelings towards each other. We are currently discussing getting a DNA test done, as it's the only way to find out for sure, but for the moment we don't want to know - or at least I don't, but I get the feeling he's the same. It would either confirm our worst fears….but what then - we remain friends but heading towards the torture of falling hopelessly in love with eachother? Or cut off all ties, and I don't think either of us could handle that. Or find out that we are completely unrelated and can move forward with a normal relationship, but with people constantly asking us if we are brother and sister or giving us funny looks if we were to kiss or hold hands in public?

So for now we are staying as we are, but as our feelings develop we know we are going to have to take the DNA test….but for now, it is what it is.