That One Friend

      We all have that one friend in our life that knows everything about us, who has seen us at our best, and our worst and still likes us. The friend that we can laugh with about anything and when you laugh it is so hard that you start to cry. That one friend that we almost ended up dating but for whatever reason, we didn’t. Don’t act like you don’t have that friend. You have one and are probably thinking of them as you read this and if you don't, at one point I bet you did. I have a friend like that. I am in my 40’s now and have known him since my 20’s. I met him when I was single, and newly broken up with by an ex-girlfriend. I was sitting at the British pub near me, with a friend, and I was speaking Spanish with said friend. He was sitting next to me at the bar, and he looked over at me “You speak Spanish?”, He asked. I took a sip of my beer and looked at him. He was cute. He had dark wavy hair, almost curly. He had very deep brown eyes. I could feel my light green eyes aglow.

“I do. I used to be a Spanish teacher."

" Wow. You speak it better than I do”. I would come to find out that I did indeed speak better Spanish than him, as he spoke what I would jokingly call middle school Spanish.  His name was Fernando. I would call him Nando or Nandito. I was Laurita to him. We became fast friends after that. We would go to the pub together, we would play pool together, we would stay up late watching episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force together. If we hadn't hung out I would get a call just to see how the night was. If we had been out together but ended up separate places, I would get a call asking if I needed a ride home. Wherever I was he was. Wherever he was I was. It got to the point where people just started to assume we were together, and we awkwardly had to tell them we were friends. He was preparing to move to Colarado and I was not ready to get back into dating after what was a dumpster fire of a relationship.

               I remember one summery night. I had to have been 28. I had a small apartment on a quiet street. It was warm out, my window was open. I had a fan going. There was a breeze from the fan and the open window. I could hear crickets chirping. I had my head resting on his chest and his arms were around me. I am not sure what happened, but we ended up kissing. It was bound to happen. It wasn’t bad. It seemed right. We still hung out like normal. We just had a new dimension to our relationship. Nando was an attractive man. He was Puerto Rican, with light skin and freckles. We looked like total opposites. I looked a tom boy with baggy shorts and flip flops and short wavy dark hair that would go behind my ear; he had his timberlands and baggy jeans. We looked more like bros. There came a point where we drifted apart. He was going to move, and I was not looking to feel feelings for anyone. I guess what we did was just ghost each other. Except we didn’t fully.

               He ended up not moving. I saw him out and about and just like that we were friends again. This time, I lived in a studio apartment, and he would come over late at night, and we would have what I would call our rendezvous. I was single. He was single. I don’t know why we didn’t make a go of things then. We saw each other most weekends. I didn’t try. He didn’t try. We just had fun together. He had mentioned that he would like to have a partner. We should have tried. I sit here kicking myself as I write.

               Let’s fast forward and be glad for the advent of Instagram. We connected on there. He was making flan and coquito for Christmas, and I needed some. So, he dropped it over before Christmas. Then, came Springtime. He had been dumped by a narcissistic scene chic. He was really thrown for a loop. He needed a friend and a listening ear. It started out just Instagram conversations. Then it was meeting out places. Then we were going on walks. Then there was a can I come over text wich he apologized for. I had a boyfriend at the time. I could feel it happening. It was 3am. We were standing on the top of the roof of a space he rented to play pool. We had plaid pool but hit the roof top. It was a beautiful view. The lights of the city twinkled. We almost kissed. Almost. I was ready to break things off with my partner. Nando wanted me to. I wasn’t able to as I was living with my boyfriend, and I was scared to. What if Nando didn't work out? I guess our timing has never been right. Ever. He is now happy with his girlfriend of a year. She is very pretty. She looks like she treats him well. I am glad he is happy. He deserves to be happy. He is a good man. He is an evolved man. He deserves a good partner. This isn’t the end of the story. Things change every day. I hold on to a sliver of hope that the timing will be right for us one day. Maybe he won’t be the one that got away, but the one who came back. Time will tell. I am honestly not the best at relationships, and neither is he. That is why I feel like we would be good together. The great thing about Instagram is that you can tell who checks out your story, and he still checks out my stories now and then. It isn’t much, but it makes me happy. I solemnly swear, if my chance arises again, I am going to take it. I have in writing, so I have to stick to it.