Time Reversal Symmetry

“Subtle signs, some may call coincidence,

she at first called ironic 

   From the Universe recited quotes laced in waves of sonic

             Tied with a red string connected to Nature’s harmonic

             Her ears keenly tuned in, low and behold,

she heard notes of symphonic 

             As each day continued, the Universe and Nature

             Delivered sweet quotes in a sheet of music overtures 

             With amusing hints of wicked humor”

Music is a symphony of singular notes that opens the window for time reversal symmetry. Certain melodies instinctively transport me back to a specific memory, a gateway to my past.

Ring ding dong …I am awake. Nervously, I step off the airplane and into a culture so wildly different from what I was accustomed to.  My siblings and parents wanted me to experience the world. “There’s a map with a world of different destinations out there for you to explore. Reading books can only take your imagination so far, my dearest daughter,” my mom’s voice echoed in my mind as I reached the gate.

Officially, I was a nerdy, rigid and extremely uptight sophomore. My nose was always in a book. Unofficially, my childhood dream was to become an astronaut. The magical landscape of space, planets and the stars fascinates and nourishes my curiosity for the universe.  My passion for the pursuit of knowledge of the unknown was going to take me to the Moon and back. 

However, back on solid land, I decided to take caution to the wind and finally gave in to my family’s advice. I agreed to a full year of studying abroad in South Korea.

I am greeted by my Korean family with open arms. Dad Chang, Mom Chang and Ha-rul. The Chang family was extremely nice and accommodating. Dad Chang, speaks pretty good conversational English. Mom Chang, not so much. But there was warmth behind her eyes every time she smiled at me. And then there is Ha-rul.

“May I take your jim kaeri, hopefully it’s autographed by him as well,” chuckles Ha-rul. Jim means ‘luggage’ and kaeri means ‘carry’ in Korean. He must have spotted my anxiety from miles away because he tried his best to calm every nervous glance and hiccup, with funny stories or silly jokes. His relaxed attitude and funny references slowly puts my tension at ease. 

The first few weeks in South Korea were terrible! Every night, I cried myself to sleep. No matter how many tourist books I read, nothing prepared me for the culture shock. An introvert by nature, I found it hard to make friends in my neck of the woods, nevermind reinventing myself to try to make friends four thousand miles away.

I’m not sure if it was from pity or bemused by my snotty and entitled American persona I was giving off,  Ha-rul made it a point to make me feel comfortable. If it wasn't for Ha-rul, I would have hopped back onto a plane, heading west taking me back to my doorstep and into my cozy bed with pictures of Korea pinned on my wall. 

Ha-rul is a senior, always smiling, like his mother. He tries to make me feel like I belong amongst the sea of strangers. The nights I still cried, he came into my room with tissues. He even came home with a case of tissues for me, with a handwritten joke on it, “What kind of tissues do mathematicians like? MULTI-PLY.”  He always knew how to turn my frown upside down.  

One evening, with a sly grin on his face, came into my room and said, “Enough! We go out dancing!” Sheepishly, I agreed. How could it get any worse than my current situation? Oh right, my dancing. 

Vrooom Vroom, a car with a boombox speaker so grand it thudded a loud tune vibrating into my soul and ready to explode my poor ear drums. I heard that catchy tune from the airplane ride, Ring ding dong … 

Ha-rul grabbed my hand and whisked me into the club and onto the dance floor. Ha-rul furiously dances around me, singing the lyrics to the song to me. My butterfly, ring ding dong … fantastic fantastic elastic elastic … 

Before I knew it, a crowd of dancers formed a line behind Ha-rul. All together, they dance choreographically , just like a scene from Step Up. I blush and shriek in excitement. Did Ha-rul plan all this for me? 

Ha-rul breaks away from the group, grabs my hand, twirls my body into a spin and lets go of me.  My feet, with a mind of their own, start moving. Immediately, I feel a rush take over and my body moves in ways I didn’t think possible. I know if I was staring at myself, I would look like a stiff penguin waddling side to side, but I don’t care. I’m laughing and dancing without any worries. In a brief moment, I looked into Ha-rul’s soft eyes and felt safe with him. 

He took the awkward out of me and breathed life into my soul. Ring ding dong, we dance the night away. The strings tainted with anxiety were replaced with vibrations of beautiful ring, ding, dongs.

The remainder of my study abroad is filled with exciting and memorable experiences  with friends. The times I spend with Ha-rul and his friends is more than an introvert could ever wish for.  My silly dramatic scenarios turned into chapters of belly laughing comedies with amazing friends. 

The morning before I had to leave for the States, Ha-rul saw I had been crying. He said, “Do not cry, today I plan something special for you.” I saw he was holding an iPod and earphones. He quickly motioned me to get up and out the door we left.  We walked to the Namsan Outdoor Botanical Garden. 

Absolutely in awe with the breathtaking sceneries of the garden filled with cherry blossoms, bamboo and pine forest that filled every one of my senses. Elated, I soaked in every bloom, every scent, every pedal masterfully lining the paths. My spirits immediately soared into a heavenly garden. In a playful tone, I said to Ha-rul, “You sure do know how to make a gal forget her worries.”  

Gingerly, he put on the earphones in my ears. Immediately, I smiled as I heard his voice singing, “Ring ding dong, my special butterfly …” He was singing the song we danced to that magical night, except in English. I never understood the song but he sang it so beautifully in English for me to understand.

Then Ha-rul grabbed my hands and together we started dancing in the garden. Unaware of the disconcerting looks, we danced all around the garden. Giggling and out of breath, he stops in front of me to say, “My dear butterfly, I wrote you this letter and I don’t want you to ever forget these words, no matter where you are.” He handed me the letter but I had to promise not to read it until I’m on the airplane.

“That moment you walked into my room

 You took me by a wondrous storm 

 Every song we danced 

 Put me into a magical trance 

 Feeling Cupid's arrow lance

Through my heart as I pranced 

Around the neon floor 

Loving you to every aching core 

I wish I could tell you how much I love you

Numerous times 

I climbed mountains

Only to stumble onto the same dead end 

Staring back frozen with fear

Motioning silent mention

Reminding me 

Your message is crystal clear 

You’ll always be by my side 

Never passing judgment 

Letting all my mistakes slide 

I lost my way 

Thousands of miles away 

I heard you say 

“Wipe my tears” 

Sensing your army of entourage

With all my might and courage 

I followed your quiet melodies 

And knew all I needed was you

I will always love you”

Ring Ding Dong Ha-rul, I will never forget you or your words.