Lucas

Lucas loved his life. He hadn’t been around for a very long time but he simply adored the way life was treating him. He felt the luckiest creature. For as long as he could remember, he had been loved and pampered. He didn’t have to ask for anything: life was giving him everything he wanted even before he could express a wish. He felt content and quiet. The sound of peaceful waves soothed him whenever he felt little discomfort and the placid waters were warm and gentle whenever they caressed his delicate skin. Even darkness rocked him and was like a velvety hand that moved him from side to side. He was pure life: he felt everything and nothing at the same time. He was at peace with the world around him and inside him. He could perceive it as a whole in every single heartbeat. Nothing distressed him. He didn’t really know the world, he knew only a small part of it, and its limits were blurry, they melted away whenever he tried to fetch them, whenever he tried to set them. He liked this sensation: he had no limits really, no boundaries nor constraints, only those that he set for himself.

His days were pretty much the same: he would wake up eager to feel the touch of life, he was ready to respond whenever life would rub his delicate body. He always looked forward to those moments: he was bonding with life through that warm touch. And he would shiver in delight; every inch of his being did. It was pure joy. The sounds of life made him curious too: he would eardrop whenever he could, he knew he loved the high-pitch voices better: they were chirpy and cheery, they made him smile and giggle. Rays of light would often peek out from above and illuminate him softly, and made him warm as if he was wrapped in a woolly blanket. He would always open his eyes to enjoy the light, because it made everything look different. Sometimes he could hear music, muffled sounds really, but how he enjoyed those moments…

And there was more. Every part of his body felt that he had been wanted, that he had been created as an act of love. He didn’t know how, he only felt it, he felt that he was the result of a miracle. He knew that someone was watching over him, was taking care of him, day and night, was feeding him, soothing him, rocking him. Someone was giving him new life every day and getting him ready. For what? He didn’t know, but he felt he was changing, he felt that change was part of him, he never tried to resist change, he embraced it with every fibre of his being. He was change.

Every day he grew stronger and more determined, he knew that the day would soon come when he had to start fighting for his happiness, for his space in the world. The day would come when he would start giving back some of the tenderness and warmth that he had received. He knew what it was like to be cherished and desired, and he felt that he wanted to cherish and desire as well, he wanted to see if he could want someone as much as he has been wanted. But he was also scared. Indeed, while he has there, protected and sheltered, he didn’t have to worry about himself, about anything really. He knew he had the strength to survive in him, he had been created to survive, but he wanted to do more than survive. Deep in his little heart, he felt all his strength: it was in his heartbeat, the rhythmic sound of life that was running in his body. That’s all he knew really: he knew his heartbeat, he knew the waves, he knew the soothing sound of the water, the gentle touch of the darkness.

He enjoyed his existence, he cherished every moment, he lived every instant to its fullest.

But deep down he knew he would have to give it all up soon. His space was getting smaller, darkness was getting darker, the waves were getting shallow and dry.

“It’s not fair” was what he wanted to say. He wanted to shout it to life itself, but of course he could not do it, he didn’t know how to shout.

His journey was coming to an end.

“It’s not fair” was what he felt. He didn’t really know what was fair and what wasn’t, but he was scared of what would come next and fear was unpleasant, thus unfair. He didn’t know yet, but there is no big change without fear. And yet change is what we are. He would soon understand it.

“It’s not fair” was what his whole body perceived when life pulled him out of the waters, out of the darkness, out of the soothing calmness of his shelter. He wanted to meet life, he wanted to meet the gentle sun, the soft hand that rubbed his little world. He was ready for life but he resisted change.

But there was no point. Change was there to transform him completely, to make him truly part of this world, to make him visible and touchable.

And there he was. The cosmic void surrounded him for a few seconds: it was pure cold terror. He could not breathe, he could not see, he didn’t know where he was. But it lasted very briefly, only until he felt the warm touch of life again; he actually saw life with his big turquoise eyes. He opened those eyes to the light for the first time and they saw life, they saw his mother; his skin felt the warmth of her skin. It was her; it was life itself. He took a deep breath and with it life welcomed him to the world. He wasn’t scared anymore. He would make it, he knew it.

Lucas – born on August 7^th 2022