The Art Gallery

The Art Gallery

Mary Manning

Leonard: An icon. An artist. A poet. Searching for lost art.

Chapman: An icon. An artist. A poet. Searching for lost art.

Setting: An art gallery

The Time: Always

Three white walls. Track lighting on all sides. Leonard sits in the middle of the stage in black. The walls are bare. He sits cross-legged, with his hands resting on his chin. Skinny, with sleek white skin, and leather pants.

LEONARD

Somebody has stolen my art.

(He stares at the audience and sighs.)

LEONARD

It’s an odd thing really. It was mine. All mine. My art. And it is gone.

(He plays with his hair in frustration and rubs his stomach and grunts.)

LEONARD

Yes. Typical. I know look at me. Trying to be deep with a cigarette and beret in hiding. But really. I profess, again, somebody has stolen my art.

(There is a loud boom heard off stage. Leonard looks around puzzled. He stares at the audience wide-eyed.)

LEONARD

Who could that be?

(A blue-eyed, black-haired “greaser” stumbles on stage. He is drunk and angry.)

CHAPMAN

Enough already. I went to high school with you bozo. Don’t you remember me?

LEONARD

Pardon? Do you know where my art went? I don’t seem to recognize you. High school was nearly twenty-nine years ago. Good day though sir. Have you seen my art?

CHAPMAN

Sure. I bet you are real excited to come to the class reunion. Come on. Don’t you remember when I died my hair and you were a jock.

LEONARD

Fishy.

CHAPMAN

What’d you say?

LEONARD

Oh sir, I said fishy.

CHAPMAN

Typical.

LEONARD

I don’t want to suggest you stole my art sir. But if I could ask, have you seen my art?

CHAPMAN

Get a life. How old do you think you are? Look at you. I had died hair in high school man. Grow up. I work nine to five every day and I pay for my kids college. That is art. Art of the real working class. Art of the living, breathing machine of the people.

LEONARD

Simply put and brilliant. A beautiful testament to the people.

CHAPMAN

You don’t get the people man. I get the people. I sit at my house and watch my kid grow and I know he’s doing well. He’s really doing well. Man, that kid, that kid, means the world to me. Okay. Not your art, my kid. He is going to be so big, so quickly man, he is going to be so old so soon.

LEONARD

My niece and nephew get kept away from me. I don’t have time really, I guess. Busy. Busy days and nights. God time flies. You say you went to my high school?

CHAPMAN

You know who I am.

LEONARD

No man, I don’t. It’s been a longtime. Really longtime. Shit changes. War. Peace.

Anarchy. Women. Lots of women. And the one. Of course. The one.

CHAPMAN

You are forcing yourself to forget about the past. You are a lie. I was you in ninth grade. Come on. Don’t you remember. You looked up to me. You wanted to be me. You just didn’t know it. You wanted to be me then and look at you now.

LEONARD

Whoa. Back up there. That’s a lot to think about.

(He puts his hands thoughtfully on his chin.)

Yeah man. I kind of see it. Like, I’m you and you are me. Yeah, shit like that is way out there. Totally crazy. Definitely a perspective.

CHAPMAN

Faggot you don’t even know what I am talking about. My friends all go to work five days a week. I read Burrows and got over it. Okay? Do you get it? I ran with cigarettes and gin until eighteen and let it go. I was you. Come on, see it. Jesus Christ is my man and he knows it.

LEONARD

Is this like an American thing?

CHAPMAN

No man. I studied that shit too. All that stuff. I knew it then. I lived it. I ran with women and fast cars. But come on, you have to see your own hypocrisy.

LEONARD

I am a bit fragile sir. I don’t really see what is going on here. You see, I lost my art. I can’t seem to find it. Do you know where my art went?

CHAPMAN

I was art. Screw your art. What about them. The kids that lived it and grew up.

LEONARD

Yes. I see. Perplexing. Stifling. A true tragedy in the making.

CHAPMAN

Deep. Dark. Depressing. Come on. You get it.

LEONARD

I don’t. I don’t really. You seem to think I catch your message. I don’t really man. I live. Every day, every second. But man, it’s been a really longtime. I can talk deep, I can read Burroughs with you. What do you say?

CHAPMAN

You’re missing my point.

LEONARD

Is this like a you need the dark to see the light thing? Or evil and good coincide? I am a little foggy. I seem to have lost my art. I could use a refresher myself.

CHAPMAN

You’re weak in delivery. Listen to yourself.

LEONARD

Sure. Sure. I see. Fat guy rips on self. Insert here. I get it. I like myself sir. And I suggest the same for your young son you are raising.

CHAPMAN

Your image doesn’t equal you. Look at you. You look like you did heroine at twelve. Do you tell people that?

LEONARD

No. No I don’t. But I do appreciate my outfit. It’s hip to say the least.

CHAPMAN

You’re fake. Nothing but a true phony. A real one. I got myself a real phony.

LEONARD

Yes. Well my art hasn’t walked in yet. I have yet to see it.

CHAPMAN

The father arts in heaven. You haven’t studied that shit either. That’s a trip. A real trip man. You could argue that stuff all night if you took time to read it.

LEONARD

Peace. Not religion. Peace. Definitely peace.

CHAPMAN

So I have myself a real peace type. Huh? You don’t know anything about my mind and where it has been. Insane to crazy to beyond. And you’re worried about peace. Peace for a day in my mind is all I would need to go feed a city your art.

LEONARD

Say it again?

(Laughs lightly, a little nervously.)

CHAPMAN

You heard me. I am openly mocking you. Calling you out on your “insanity”. You pose with weed and give me a peace sign. For what? A new car? You have no idea where my mind has been.

LEONARD

I believe in peace. I live it, breath it, I don’t own it though. No. No sir. I don’t own it. To say the least, no one does.

CHAPMAN

What? Is that a lesson for me? Is that for me to pick up the truth with compassion? Are you trying to “get” me? You can stop. You will never get me.

LEONARD

(coughs lightly)

We aren’t that different. I was you once and you were me too. We’re all one. I can accept that man. You’re one hipster I am sad I missed. Hey, I’ll level with you. I come across the likes of you a lot. I get it. I just, I am worried about my art. You know, I lost my art.

CHAPMAN

You still don’t get it man. You don’t get that my kid drinks beer with me in a couple more years. My buddies that I read Burroughs with I now watch sports with. We watch sports and we don’t even think about this shit.

LEONARD

I do. All the time. Deeply. For real. It is a life long journey. I am weak on response because I don’t have time for your rhetoric sir. I have obviously journeyed differently than you would have liked for me. But it is my life sir. It is my precious life, not yours. How dare you. I say proudly, how dare you.

CHAPMAN

Come on. Don’t you get embarrassed for yourself? You’ve got to see how embarrassing you are? There are people that openly mock this shit all the time.

LEONARD

No sir. Not in the circles I exist in. We are progressive, we are free, and we allow ourselves to change. I get it. I just, I don’t have time for you.

CHAPMAN

Can I get an autograph? Give me an autograph?

LEONARD

I’m not in the mood. I know when someone is mocking me.

CHAPMAN

Who is the killer? Ask me twice and I will give you the same answer. Who was the killer in this situation.

LEONARD

Pardon?

CHAPMAN

(Rubs his temples.)

The age old fucking debate. Always the same fucking shit. It is a universal fucking argument. You are the fucking killer of me. All you fuckers killed me.

LEONARD

I thought it was your Father that art in heaven.

CHAPMAN

I get it. All right. I know how it goes. All you fucking do is mock me. You wreak of my junior high years. I got it. I try to explain this shit to you guys. I knew it. I was right.

LEONARD

Prove it.

CHAPMAN

(Freezes.) Pardon?

LEONARD

I said prove it.

(He smirks.)

CHAPMAN

You’re in on it. You’re all fucking in on it.

LEONARD

Look buddy, I just lost my art. I am having a hurried day. But yes, they say God is on my side in all of these arguments.

CHAPMAN

Say it then. You’re our fucking killer. We get the bad deal every fucking time. You fuckers run through history and I am your killer.

LEONARD

I’m a peaceful guy buddy. You’re misreading me and I ain’t got the time but if you have seen my art I would be glad to show it to you.

CHAPMAN

What? What did you say?

LEONARD

Pardon my French guy, but you are crazy. These are age old debates. Age old debates. I am just having fun. Of course. But today, I cannot find my art.

CHAPMAN

What? Do you think you are too good for me? Is that it? Do you think you are too good to know me? Too good to sign an autograph? Too good to know my kid? He’s getting older okay. He’s going to have a beer with me one day. That’ s my boy. My only boy.

LEONARD

Of course he is sir. Your only son.

CHAPMAN

I don’t get it. How could you have been with me the entire time? Is it possible that you and I are actually alike? That we have something to say to one another? After all these years, I am misreading you.

LEONARD

Do you know the time?

CHAPMAN

What? Come on, we’re just getting started.

LEONARD

Sure. Whatever. I got to find my art. Do you know the time?

CHAPMAN

Sure. I see. You don’t have time for me. What are you to good then? You get the stuff and you’re not willing to talk to an old classmate.

LEONARD

My art comes first. Always busy. You ran hard early. I am always in it for the long run.

CHAPMAN

That’s it? You still produce art and I gave up on my journey.

LEONARD

Something like that. I think you are probably just crazy buddy. To be honest and all.

CHAPMAN

You in my head then? You in my head? You sit in the hospital and get those injections from politicians that scorn you? You watch people drool? You studied to have a book change on you? You ever get people changing their image on you like a vampire?

LEONARD

Theatre of the absurd. Pure art.

CHAPMAN

What? You fucking with me?

LEONARD

Art. In heaven and earth. Always.

CHAPMAN

What you think you hold a secret I can’t get to? With all my reading and wandering I can’t get there, huh? I know what you sing about. I read the simple lyrics and got the message. No religion. No war. What the fuck do you think you are.. Who the fuck did you ever think you were?

(A loud clap is heard. The lights go down.)