The Art Gallery
Mary Manning
Leonard: An icon. An artist. A poet. Searching for lost art.
Chapman: An icon. An artist. A poet. Searching for lost art.
Setting: An art gallery
The Time: Always
Three white walls. Track lighting on all sides. Leonard sits in the middle of the stage in black. The walls are bare. He sits cross-legged, with his hands resting on his chin. Skinny, with sleek white skin, and leather pants.
LEONARD
Somebody has stolen my art.
(He stares at the audience and sighs.)
LEONARD
It’s an odd thing really. It was mine. All mine. My art. And it is gone.
(He plays with his hair in frustration and rubs his stomach and grunts.)
LEONARD
Yes. Typical. I know look at me. Trying to be deep with a cigarette and beret in hiding. But really. I profess, again, somebody has stolen my art.
(There is a loud boom heard off stage. Leonard looks around puzzled. He stares at the audience wide-eyed.)
LEONARD
Who could that be?
(A blue-eyed, black-haired “greaser” stumbles on stage. He is drunk and angry.)
CHAPMAN
Enough already. I went to high school with you bozo. Don’t you remember me?
LEONARD
Pardon? Do you know where my art went? I don’t seem to recognize you. High school was nearly twenty-nine years ago. Good day though sir. Have you seen my art?
CHAPMAN
Sure. I bet you are real excited to come to the class reunion. Come on. Don’t you remember when I died my hair and you were a jock.
LEONARD
Fishy.
CHAPMAN
What’d you say?
LEONARD
Oh sir, I said fishy.
CHAPMAN
Typical.
LEONARD
I don’t want to suggest you stole my art sir. But if I could ask, have you seen my art?
CHAPMAN
Get a life. How old do you think you are? Look at you. I had died hair in high school man. Grow up. I work nine to five every day and I pay for my kids college. That is art. Art of the real working class. Art of the living, breathing machine of the people.
LEONARD
Simply put and brilliant. A beautiful testament to the people.
CHAPMAN
You don’t get the people man. I get the people. I sit at my house and watch my kid grow and I know he’s doing well. He’s really doing well. Man, that kid, that kid, means the world to me. Okay. Not your art, my kid. He is going to be so big, so quickly man, he is going to be so old so soon.
LEONARD
My niece and nephew get kept away from me. I don’t have time really, I guess. Busy. Busy days and nights. God time flies. You say you went to my high school?
CHAPMAN
You know who I am.
LEONARD
No man, I don’t. It’s been a longtime. Really longtime. Shit changes. War. Peace.
Anarchy. Women. Lots of women. And the one. Of course. The one.
CHAPMAN
You are forcing yourself to forget about the past. You are a lie. I was you in ninth grade. Come on. Don’t you remember. You looked up to me. You wanted to be me. You just didn’t know it. You wanted to be me then and look at you now.
LEONARD
Whoa. Back up there. That’s a lot to think about.
(He puts his hands thoughtfully on his chin.)
Yeah man. I kind of see it. Like, I’m you and you are me. Yeah, shit like that is way out there. Totally crazy. Definitely a perspective.
CHAPMAN
Faggot you don’t even know what I am talking about. My friends all go to work five days a week. I read Burrows and got over it. Okay? Do you get it? I ran with cigarettes and gin until eighteen and let it go. I was you. Come on, see it. Jesus Christ is my man and he knows it.
LEONARD
Is this like an American thing?
CHAPMAN
No man. I studied that shit too. All that stuff. I knew it then. I lived it. I ran with women and fast cars. But come on, you have to see your own hypocrisy.
LEONARD
I am a bit fragile sir. I don’t really see what is going on here. You see, I lost my art. I can’t seem to find it. Do you know where my art went?
CHAPMAN
I was art. Screw your art. What about them. The kids that lived it and grew up.
LEONARD
Yes. I see. Perplexing. Stifling. A true tragedy in the making.
CHAPMAN
Deep. Dark. Depressing. Come on. You get it.
LEONARD
I don’t. I don’t really. You seem to think I catch your message. I don’t really man. I live. Every day, every second. But man, it’s been a really longtime. I can talk deep, I can read Burroughs with you. What do you say?
CHAPMAN
You’re missing my point.
LEONARD
Is this like a you need the dark to see the light thing? Or evil and good coincide? I am a little foggy. I seem to have lost my art. I could use a refresher myself.
CHAPMAN
You’re weak in delivery. Listen to yourself.
LEONARD
Sure. Sure. I see. Fat guy rips on self. Insert here. I get it. I like myself sir. And I suggest the same for your young son you are raising.
CHAPMAN
Your image doesn’t equal you. Look at you. You look like you did heroine at twelve. Do you tell people that?
LEONARD
No. No I don’t. But I do appreciate my outfit. It’s hip to say the least.
CHAPMAN
You’re fake. Nothing but a true phony. A real one. I got myself a real phony.
LEONARD
Yes. Well my art hasn’t walked in yet. I have yet to see it.
CHAPMAN
The father arts in heaven. You haven’t studied that shit either. That’s a trip. A real trip man. You could argue that stuff all night if you took time to read it.
LEONARD
Peace. Not religion. Peace. Definitely peace.
CHAPMAN
So I have myself a real peace type. Huh? You don’t know anything about my mind and where it has been. Insane to crazy to beyond. And you’re worried about peace. Peace for a day in my mind is all I would need to go feed a city your art.
LEONARD
Say it again?
(Laughs lightly, a little nervously.)
CHAPMAN
You heard me. I am openly mocking you. Calling you out on your “insanity”. You pose with weed and give me a peace sign. For what? A new car? You have no idea where my mind has been.
LEONARD
I believe in peace. I live it, breath it, I don’t own it though. No. No sir. I don’t own it. To say the least, no one does.
CHAPMAN
What? Is that a lesson for me? Is that for me to pick up the truth with compassion? Are you trying to “get” me? You can stop. You will never get me.
LEONARD
(coughs lightly)
We aren’t that different. I was you once and you were me too. We’re all one. I can accept that man. You’re one hipster I am sad I missed. Hey, I’ll level with you. I come across the likes of you a lot. I get it. I just, I am worried about my art. You know, I lost my art.
CHAPMAN
You still don’t get it man. You don’t get that my kid drinks beer with me in a couple more years. My buddies that I read Burroughs with I now watch sports with. We watch sports and we don’t even think about this shit.
LEONARD
I do. All the time. Deeply. For real. It is a life long journey. I am weak on response because I don’t have time for your rhetoric sir. I have obviously journeyed differently than you would have liked for me. But it is my life sir. It is my precious life, not yours. How dare you. I say proudly, how dare you.
CHAPMAN
Come on. Don’t you get embarrassed for yourself? You’ve got to see how embarrassing you are? There are people that openly mock this shit all the time.
LEONARD
No sir. Not in the circles I exist in. We are progressive, we are free, and we allow ourselves to change. I get it. I just, I don’t have time for you.
CHAPMAN
Can I get an autograph? Give me an autograph?
LEONARD
I’m not in the mood. I know when someone is mocking me.
CHAPMAN
Who is the killer? Ask me twice and I will give you the same answer. Who was the killer in this situation.
LEONARD
Pardon?
CHAPMAN
(Rubs his temples.)
The age old fucking debate. Always the same fucking shit. It is a universal fucking argument. You are the fucking killer of me. All you fuckers killed me.
LEONARD
I thought it was your Father that art in heaven.
CHAPMAN
I get it. All right. I know how it goes. All you fucking do is mock me. You wreak of my junior high years. I got it. I try to explain this shit to you guys. I knew it. I was right.
LEONARD
Prove it.
CHAPMAN
(Freezes.) Pardon?
LEONARD
I said prove it.
(He smirks.)
CHAPMAN
You’re in on it. You’re all fucking in on it.
LEONARD
Look buddy, I just lost my art. I am having a hurried day. But yes, they say God is on my side in all of these arguments.
CHAPMAN
Say it then. You’re our fucking killer. We get the bad deal every fucking time. You fuckers run through history and I am your killer.
LEONARD
I’m a peaceful guy buddy. You’re misreading me and I ain’t got the time but if you have seen my art I would be glad to show it to you.
CHAPMAN
What? What did you say?
LEONARD
Pardon my French guy, but you are crazy. These are age old debates. Age old debates. I am just having fun. Of course. But today, I cannot find my art.
CHAPMAN
What? Do you think you are too good for me? Is that it? Do you think you are too good to know me? Too good to sign an autograph? Too good to know my kid? He’s getting older okay. He’s going to have a beer with me one day. That’ s my boy. My only boy.
LEONARD
Of course he is sir. Your only son.
CHAPMAN
I don’t get it. How could you have been with me the entire time? Is it possible that you and I are actually alike? That we have something to say to one another? After all these years, I am misreading you.
LEONARD
Do you know the time?
CHAPMAN
What? Come on, we’re just getting started.
LEONARD
Sure. Whatever. I got to find my art. Do you know the time?
CHAPMAN
Sure. I see. You don’t have time for me. What are you to good then? You get the stuff and you’re not willing to talk to an old classmate.
LEONARD
My art comes first. Always busy. You ran hard early. I am always in it for the long run.
CHAPMAN
That’s it? You still produce art and I gave up on my journey.
LEONARD
Something like that. I think you are probably just crazy buddy. To be honest and all.
CHAPMAN
You in my head then? You in my head? You sit in the hospital and get those injections from politicians that scorn you? You watch people drool? You studied to have a book change on you? You ever get people changing their image on you like a vampire?
LEONARD
Theatre of the absurd. Pure art.
CHAPMAN
What? You fucking with me?
LEONARD
Art. In heaven and earth. Always.
CHAPMAN
What you think you hold a secret I can’t get to? With all my reading and wandering I can’t get there, huh? I know what you sing about. I read the simple lyrics and got the message. No religion. No war. What the fuck do you think you are.. Who the fuck did you ever think you were?
(A loud clap is heard. The lights go down.)
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