Fortuitous Love

What is it about roses that makes them so beautiful? The colorful petals? The long green stems? Their strong but subtle scent?

What is it about a song that can instantly put you in a better mood? The harmony? The melody? Maybe it’s the combination of the two…

It’s the same thing that makes the clouds seem brighter on a rainy day. It makes a bad day seem better no matter the situation. A rose is more than just a rose like a song is more than just a song.

It’s love.

I was a tomboy growing up. Preferring jeans and tshirts to the typical leggings and crop tops most girls wore today. The thought of putting on a dress for any occasion made me sick to my stomach. My tiny less than curvy frame looked hideous in anything skin tight. I dyed my hair auburn and always cut it to shoulder length. I had no patience for styling and it was easy to throw into a ponytail on the go.

I had no girl friends. The drama that seemed to lurk in the shadows around girls my age annoyed me to my wits end. My favorite spot to be was at the skate park with my older brother and his friends. I wasn’t good on a skateboard; constantly falling and getting a new scrape every week was my norm. But I loved it and my brother didn’t mind letting me hang around because I was quiet.

I had fully integrated into my life as a female social outcast. The thought of traipsing around the mall shopping for designer handbags was my worst nightmare. My beauty standards were far inferior than my peers. Makeup wasn’t a necessity to me, having never touched my naturally tanned skin. Besides, I didn’t want guys to look at me the way they looked at my classmates; eyes full of lust for the hottest girls in school. It was creepy.

Outside of my life at the skatepark, I was a bit of a homebody. I lived in my small bedroom with heavy metal music constantly blasting through my headphones. I enjoyed the solidarity and didn’t need anyone else in my life. Other than my family of course. You can imagine my anxiety when I decided to drive out of state for college.

The day I left, my family waved goodbye as I pulled away; starting my twelve hour trek to UCLA. The backseat of my car loaded up with all of my belongings. A cooler resided in my passenger seat that my parents filled with snacks for the drive. I rolled down the window letting the late warm summer breeze hit my face.

After three hours on the highway, I pulled off into a rest stop to fill my almost empty gas tank. I quickly used the gas station bathroom. Ugh. Public bathrooms were the worst thing in the world. Digging through my purse, I doused myself in my spray hand sanitizer as I walked. Killing any germs that hitched a ride on my clothing.

That’s when I saw him. I stopped dead in my tracks. The man who would one day become ‘the one’, leaning against his car. The sound of heavy metal music blaring from the speakers. Never having had a crush on a guy before, I didn’t know what to do. I realized I had already been staring for far too long when I noticed his eyes had met mine.

I averted my gaze to the ground and ran to my car, pretending like I didn’t see him. Climbing in, I slammed the door closed behind me, and hid my face in my hands. I had to get out of there. Taking a deep breath, I uncovered my face and grabbed my keys from my purse. A sudden knock on the window making me drop them.

I turned to find my mystery man smiling at me through the window. His light brown eyes matching his ear length curly hair. He had a handsome face and a thin but muscular build. The girls at school probably would have swooned over him. I rolled down my window just as the warm breeze blew, wafting his cologne in my direction. The smell was heavenly.

“Hi, I’m Lance.” He blurted out as soon as my window cracked open.

“Caroline.” I said instinctively. Immediately I realized how stupid that was. Being alone on the road and talking to a stranger… I should have given him a fake name.

“Nice to meet you, Caroline.” Lance smiled again, his top teeth showing between his lips. They weren’t straight, but I had never before seen a more perfect smile.

Lance glanced at my packed backseat, the UCLA sticker bold in the center of my rear window, “Heading to UCLA?” He asked, his smile beginning to mesmerize me.

I nodded. There was no reason in hiding my destination now. “Yeah, my best friend and I are sharing a dorm room. She’s actually already there waiting for me.” I lied. My hands began to shake nervously in my lap. I forcefully pulled my gaze away from the attractive stranger and tried to steady them.

“Oh, sorry. I won’t keep you then. My buddies and I are moving in to our dorms today as well.” Lance points to his car where three guys waited not paying any attention to what’s going on, “I had seen your sticker and thought I would come say hi. Maybe we will see you around campus.”

He waved goodbye and strolled back to his car without turning around. Great…this guy was going to be on campus with me. My imagination ran wild with thoughts of future encounters. I try to shake off my embarrassment and get back on the road. The rest of the trip flew by in a flash; my mind distracting me by circling back to Lance.

Off in the distance I saw the UCLA campus. Finally, I had made it. After a half hour of driving through a sea of people, I found my dorm. Breathing a sigh of relief when I found no sight of Lance anywhere in the crowd of students. Maybe he was moving into a dorm on the other side of campus and I would never have to see him. I hoped. Or was it possible he wasn’t really coming here after all?

Over the course of the next hour, I unloaded all of my boxes from my car. My real roommate had yet to arrive, which gave me the option of which side of the room I wanted. Along the way I met some neighbors, everyone was really friendly. I even helped my new neighbor, Ashley, move her new desk in across the hall. She had recently suffered an injury to her shoulder while playing soccer and was unable to carry anything.

“Thank you so much!” She exclaimed once the desk was in. “My parents had to head back home for a work event and weren’t able to wait for the desk to arrive. So I really appreciate the help.” Ashley adjusted her sling, her long blonde hair tangled around the strap on her good shoulder.

“Don’t mention it! If you need anything else, I’ll just be across the hall.” I waved goodbye to Ashley and returned to my room to begin unpacking. A few hours later, my stomach let out a loud growl and I realized I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. I pulled out my map of the campus and figured I would check out the cafeteria. There was a loud knock on my dorm room door just as I grabbed the doorknob to leave.

“Hello, Caroline.” Stacey, the dorm RA appeared when I opened the door. She was a senior at UCLA and looked as rough as you would imagine a working student to look. “Your roommate decided to drop out before the start of orientation. So…for the time being you will have no roommate. Once the school accepts another application, we will let you know.” Before I could respond, she had walked away.

I watched her walk away, the look of utter confusion on my face. But my attention quickly turned to the room at the end of the hall. There was Lance standing in the doorway…and he was looking in my direction. The first thought that crossed my mind was ‘hide!’, but it was like my feet were glued to the floor. I stood frozen as Lance approached me once again.

“Hey… what a coincidence that we end up in the same coed dorm.” Lance chuckled, his eyes never leaving mine.

I laughed nervously, beginning to feel like I was being followed. “Small world, I guess.” I choked out.

Lance rubbed the back of his neck almost shyly, finally breaking eye contact for only a moment. “So… my friends and I are throwing this party tonight to celebrate moving in. Want to come?” Lance handed me a piece of paper with his room number on it and the words “Move-In Day Bash” in big bold letters.

I stared at the paper for a second. I didn’t want to be the only one not going to the party, but I was unsure about Lance and his motives. “No, thanks…” I said handing the piece of paper back to him, “…I’m not much of a partier, but you guys have fun.”

Lance’s face dropped as he begrudgingly took the paper. But he smiled, trying to hide his disappointment. “Alright, well if you change your mind…you know where to find me.” He said with a wink and he walked away without looking back.

A single wink was all it took. A single wink to make me fall head over heels. To fall in love… with a criminal.

I watched Lance walk away, immediately regretting my decision. This guy was clearly trying to get my attention, but I was too naïve to see it. I tightly clutched my wallet as I closed the door behind me.

The smell of cheeseburgers wafted through the air as I approached the cafeteria. It was pretty empty for the first night on campus. I could only assume there must have been other parties going on.

The line inside was fairly short, so I grabbed a tray from the counter and waited my turn. After acquiring my dinner, I found an empty table in the far dark corner of the room. I sat down and unwrapped my cheeseburger from the foil; my mouth watering as I took the first bite.

My eyes closed as I savored it. As I opened my eyes to take another bite, I nearly choked on what was in my mouth. I coughed as I harshly swallowed that first bite. Lance was sitting in the chair directly across from me.

I took a huge gulp of my water before asking in between coughs, “What are you doing here?”

“I came up to grab some food for the party and saw you sitting here. I thought I would try one more time to convince you to come.” He smiled that mesmerizing smile again.

“Sorry, like I said before…I’m not a partier. But thanks again for the invite.” I turned back to my tray hoping he would leave.

“Alright, well then maybe you and I can just hang out. If you’re up for the company.”

I could feel myself becoming entranced with his gaze. There was just something about him I couldn’t put my finger on. But even though I hoped he would leave me alone… part of me wanted him to stay.

“You have a party to get back to. I don’t want to keep you away from your friends.”

I could feel his eyes scanning me. My appearance was only average at best…but this stranger made me feel like America’s Next Top Model by the way he looked at me. I was beginning to enjoy his company.

“My friends won’t miss me. Besides I’m the boring one of the friend group. I hate the taste of alcohol. Forever the designated driver on guys night out.” Lance chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“There’s the smile I’ve been waiting for! Now come on finish your burger, I want to take you somewhere.”

“Where’s that may I ask?” I flirted, surprising myself.

“It’s a secret. So, when you’re finished, I’ll meet you outside.” Lance sprinted off before I could say anything else.

My mind began to race with conflicting thoughts. Was this my first date? Was he going to kill me? I had no idea what was going to happen.

I slowly ate the rest of my dinner; the butterflies in my stomach making digestion difficult. Taking a deep breath, I threw out my trash and headed outside. The cold air sent a shiver up my spine. I crossed my arms trying to keep warm when suddenly a blanket rested on my shoulders.

“I figured you might need that.” Lance came around in front of me and pulled the blanket tightly around me.

We walked in silence for a while. Our eyes meeting at various times causing one or both of us to blush. I pulled the blanket close to my face; it smelled like Lance’s cologne.

“He we are.” Lance said excitedly.

I looked around; my brain lost in the scenery. We were standing in the Franklin D. Murphy sculpture garden. I stood, completely amazed. The most art you saw in my home town was the graffiti on the ramps in the skate park.

“Wow…” I whispered. I had come to UCLA to study art. Other than my family, no one knew that I had a passion for painting.

“I saw your pile of blank canvases in the back seat of your car and assumed you liked art. So, I thought you would enjoy this.” Lance smiled as he looked at the art piece in front of him.

For the next hour, we sauntered through the garden admiring each masterpiece. When we got to the end, Lance took my hand in his and we strolled back to the dorms as we chatted. In that short walk we learned everything about one another.

When we finally reached my door, he leaned down and slowly kissed me. Fireworks shot through my nervous system as I felt his soft lips on mine. Finally pulling away, Lance gave me that smile again. This had been the best night of my life.

But that would all change in an instant.

The next morning, I awoke to a loud commotion out in the hallway. I climbed out of bed and opened my door to find a herd of police officers standing in the hallway.

“Miss were you at the party last night?” An officer asked when he saw me.

I shook my head, afraid to speak.

“Your neighbor, Ashley, was found dead this morning in her dorm room. Turns out someone had brought drugs to the party and she overdosed. Did you hear anything about a student bringing drugs?” The officer stared me down, making me uncomfortable.

“No, nothing.” I answered quickly, afraid he might arrest me.

“We found them, boss. Drugs were stashed under the bed in the room at the end of the hall. Anderson is cuffing the perpetrators now.”

I looked through the crowd of people just in time to spot Lance and his roommate leaving in cuffs. My body went numb. Did Lance kill Ashley? I began to feel dizzy and held onto the wall. I had to know what happened.

I sprinted through the building and out to the police car that was waiting for Lance and his roommate. I screamed his name, but he wouldn’t turn around. I fell to my knees and watched as the car pulled away; tears rolling down my face uncontrollably.

Lance and his roommate were sentenced to twenty-five years behind bars.

How could I have gotten my first boyfriend and lose him within the first twenty-four hours?

I wrote him a letter everyday for years, asking for an explanation. But he never responded. How could I spend so much time on a guy who couldn’t even take the time to write back? So, I stopped writing. I graduated from UCLA with my masters and went on to live a full life; married and with two children.

But part of me couldn’t let go of Lance. I found myself sitting alone late at night, watching the news hoping to hear something about him. Finally, years later, he was released early for good behavior.

I left early that morning, quickly kissing my husband before I went out the door. I sat in my car for what felt like a long time. When finally, the gates of the prison opened up and Lance stepped out.

He hadn’t changed a bit. Except for some gray in his hair, he looked exactly the same. I choked back the tears as I got out of my car and approached him.

“Hi.” I said, nervously. I wasn’t sure he would even recognize me.

“C-Caroline?” He stuttered in utter surprise. His brown eyes mesmerizing me once again.

I ran to him and threw my arms around him. I knew that I was going to have to tell my husband everything but, right now, I needed this closure with Lance before I could do anything else.

“I heard you got married.” He said when we pulled away.

I nodded, “I did. Listen, I can’t stay long. My husband thinks I’m just at a doctor’s appointment. But I had to tell you that…I love you.” I tried to steady my shaking hands.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day you left. You didn’t even say goodbye. I just… I just need to know why.” I said closing my eyes afraid to hear the truth.

Lance looked away from me and took a step back, “Because I was guilty. I gave Ashley those pills. I killed her…”