Barbie & Ken

*TW for emotional abuse*

“Remind me again why we can’t put the top up,” I asked, very conscious of the fact that I looked like a wet dog as the rain pelted my hair. 

“Cuz I’m mad at you,” Billy replied matter of factly. I turned to stare at him unamused.

“Are you being serious?”

He huffed dramatically. 

“Yes.”

"Billy," I sighed, "Let's not do this right now. Please? You're gonna ruin your car and our clothes."

After a minute of contemplation, Billy slowly reached for the roof button and pressed it half-heartedly. As the sound of the closing roof whirred in the thick silence that followed, I couldn’t help but wonder about his sense of humor. Wasn’t it funny to drench us both and his precious leather interior when it should be so much easier to talk about what was bothering him? You’d think so, and yet I almost preferred his ridiculous punishments to the alternative: talking. It was never just talking with Billy, unfortunately, but rather an intro to the screaming matches that always seemed to happen right when I was starting to forget our last fight. 

“You know,” he broke the silence and I sighed in preparation, “I don’t know why we can’t handle our problems like adults.”

I’d laugh if I wasn’t so sure about how this was going to go and yet I was tempted to try reasoning with him. Maybe this time we would actually make headway. 

“Why don’t we try right now? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Billy sneered and slowly pressed down on the accelerator. 

“As if you don’t know.”

I shook my head in confusion.

“Billy, I really don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Enlighten me.”

I could hear the wind whipping against the mirrors as he sped up. Signs on the highway began flying by so fast I could only catch glimpses of colors and symbols as I fought to catch my breath. He was doing this on purpose.

“Please slow down.”

We hadn’t run into any other cars on the road yet but I feared the moment someone got in his way while we were arguing.

“Why? You didn’t have any problem moving too fast when it was with that bartender last night.”

Oh boy.

“You mean the man whose job is to serve me drinks? That guy?”

I couldn’t help the tinge of irritation in my voice and he sensed it, pressing down harder on the gas as his voice rose.

“Exactly. It’s his job to keep you buying drinks and flirt with every sad little housewife that blows through there. You're not special just because he paid a little too much attention to you, Mal.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He really knew how to make a girl feel special. 

“Gee thanks.”

He was silent for a moment, and then, “I just didn’t appreciate seeing my girlfriend throwing herself at another man, that’s all. Can you blame me?”

Staying silent was all I could do to prevent myself from screaming at him so I bit my tongue. Billy was on a roll, however, and he wouldn’t let me off the hook that easily. 

“It’s bad enough you got yourself sloppy drunk the night before our big trip. We could’ve been packing last night but you had to squeeze in one last margarita like it’s the only drop of alcohol you’ll have in the next month. It’s a goddamn couples cruise, Mal, I promise they’ll have a bar.”

His voice hit that condescending note the way it always did when we were arguing and I wanted to roll out of this car regardless of the speed. Maybe it would kill me if I was lucky. Taking a deep breath, I readied my defenses and spoke once I was confident my voice wouldn’t tremble.

“I was tipsy, Billy. I don’t get sloppy. And my stuff was all packed two days ago. You’re the one who wasn’t ready until this morning.”

I knew I had done it this time but I didn’t care. I had begged him for two weeks to be prepared so we wouldn’t miss the cruise I’d been looking forward to for months and he couldn’t be bothered to pack until the night before. I had expected it and yet he still managed to disappoint me. Now here we were, racing down the highway towards the charter bus that would carry us and our luggage to the loading dock where we’d be whisked away on a couples cruise for an entire month. I had been hoping by planning this big getaway trip that the two of us would find common ground again and go back to the way things were in the beginning of our relationship. I cursed myself for getting too comfortable in the honeymoon stage despite my friends’ warnings. 

“You got piss drunk and tried to sleep your way to free drinks last night, Mal. Maybe you don’t remember but I was the one that had to carry you up the stairs to our apartment after you decided to betray me like that,” he lied, probably hoping I had been drunk enough to forget what really happened.

“I think I’d remember a night like that, Billy. I was fine. And you didn’t carry me, you walked me upstairs at eleven like a child even though I could’ve spent another two hours dancing with my friends.”

Billy scoffed, his speed slowing as we saw a car up ahead in the distance.

Thank god.

“Funny how you’re not denying that the bartender was flirting with you.”

Is he serious? 

“Do you think I would go on a cruise with you if I didn’t want to spend time with you? You’re my boyfriend.”

Billy was silent, though he had slowed down considerably as we approached the exit sign for the shuttle pickup. 

“It’s like you said: he was probably just trying to get me to order more drinks. I doubt he was actually interested.”

I caught the corner of Billy’s mouth quirk up in a half smile and sat back in my seat, relieved. A little self deprecation never failed to make him smile as long as I was the one delivering it. We pulled up to the toll booth and Billy plastered on his signature smile before sliding his black card out of his wallet and rolling the window down.

“Don’t worry babe, I got it,” he chuckled for the teller’s benefit. The guy grinned back at him and took the card.

“How long are you planning on being away for?”

“Should be just about thirty days, right babe?”

I nodded, keeping my mouth shut as he turned to look at me. This was a test to see if I would engage with the male teller and I was determined to pass just so we could start the trip on the right foot. Noting my silence, Billy nodded approvingly and turned back to the man in the booth. The man had swiped the card over his machine and was punching in numbers, oblivious to the power play going on in front of him. 

A little beep went off and then the man in the booth handed Billy his card.

“Should be some open spots on the south side. Check Lot C first.”

“Great. Have a nice day, man.”

“You too, folks!”

I tensed a little, wondering if Billy had caught the man acknowledging me in his farewell. Billy must have been too distracted looking for Lot C because he didn’t react and I was just grateful for avoiding another confrontation as we found a spot and pulled in. The second we had parked I hopped out of the car and ran to the trunk, eager to grab my luggage and prepare for the shuttle's arrival at the pavilion nearby. The rain had slowed to a drizzle and as I stood waiting for Billy to get out of the car, I realized he was probably going to make me wait out here in the rain. Sure enough, I subtly glanced at my watch and pretended not to notice the five minutes Billy sat in the driver's seat without popping the trunk before he climbed out and sauntered to the back, opening the trunk just as the drizzling stopped. I grabbed my stuff and took a quiet but deep breath. Slapping a smile on my face, I tugged my bag onto my shoulder and put a hand on his arm.

“Ready, babe?”

He nodded and shut the trunk loudly as he laid a thick hand over mine and squeezed far too tightly. I ignored his last attempt to intimidate me before we got in front of other people and together we walked to the pavilion looking like the happiest couple in the world.