We Have Plenty of Time

We have plenty of time and were chosen for the job, not hired. We weren't even given names by our mamas. My name be Speciman 1 and my girlfriend's name is Speciman 2. Oh, yeah. Forgot. Me, 1, her 2, are monkeys. You know? The kind you and your kids go to see in the zoo. We be monkeys. And we was in a zoo, but then these dumb humans brought us to this place with white everywhere. Us monkeys ain't colorblind. Your dogs are, but not us monkeys. Then they told me and 2 we'd have a training mission which would help America and the humans gave me and Specimen 2 bananas, which we ate right away, before the humans changed his mind. They told me and 2 we'd be going into space, way up there, and they'd need us to do things in space.  

I don't know what they talkin' 'bout. But they give me a pipe and say to pull it every time some weird light turns green. 2 was told to circle a disk around a pole for eight minutes, rest for five minutes, and repeat. We don’t know why these things is important, but to these strange humans they are. Maybe the humans are high or drunk again. But, I look in their eyes and they look sober. These things don’t make no sense.  

Then, they gave us these strange names. They called us, “’Space Monkeys” ‘cause we be monkeys going into space doing these weird things. 2 is going for eight minutes and I be pulling these pipes.  

Why? Not sure what's the point is. Then, one morning, they put me and Specimen 2 into something that looks like a white cigar. A big white cigar. They put these weird things over our noses and mouths and then they put these weird clothes over us with blue, white, and red on it. We ain't color blind. Then, they close up the top and I sense something bad's gonna happen so I whimper the way dogs do. Then, I hear it: Count down to lift off: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Then, I heard this sound like the world exploding and I thought this must be arm getton, the things humans said was in the Bible, so I scream and try to get out of the suit, mask, and seat belt but the force pulling us up is too strong. Then, after three minutes, everything stops and we's feel light. Then, the seatbelts unclick and it's like there ain't no gravity. We don't float, but nothing's keeping us down. Me and 2 is scared. Then, we's hear a voice: “This is Star Captain 5510. The two of you are probably wondering what's going on. We, the United States of America, needed someone to perform an essential service on Mars to save the Earth from being pulled into Mars' gravitational pull. No human was brave enough to accept the mission, so we chose the two of you. All you have to do are the simple tasks we've assigned to you in the area other astraunauts have set up for you. You are American Heroes and we hope you make it back home. You'll get lots of bananas if you do. And, we didn't tell you the purposed behind what you are doing because if we did, you wouldn't do it. Good luck to you both.”

Then, there was silence for ten hours. Finally, a woman voice said, “Approaching Mars”. And then both of us felt a few bumps and we landed. The woman voice told us when the doors were opening and then said, “Follow the red bricks on the Red Planet the way you did in training.” And 2 and I did that. Then, we's came to a place where there were machines exactly like the one's from where we'd came from. But we weren't in these suits where we'd came from and it was harder in those suits. But, we did it. I pulled the pipe every time the light turned green and 2 for eight minutes circled a disk around her pole and rested for five minutes.  

Then, the red ground below us began to shake. It's also hard to walk here, since the gravity is heavy here. Hard to explain. But, the Mars ground was shaking and we be keep doing our thing. Then, the female voice said, “Good job, Monkeys, you made the keys to our future. Follow the road back to me. So, we stopped pulling and circling and went back to the ship. The ship's door shut and we's start to feel the explosions again, but then, we here a different voice say, “Short circuit in engine. Need to reboot” and we felt the Mars shaking around us and me and 2 both be shaking since we be scared. Then, the humming from the engine stops and wes hear the man from before: I don't think your going to make it boys and for that I'm sorry. But, you'll be remembered as world heroes.” Then, we felt the Marsquake get strong and we heard a loud crack. Then, the cigar we's be in starts falling down. Fast. Like, going on a highway in a cage with thems crazy humans, but straight down. Then, the voice says, “CPU rebooted”. Then, we feel the forces of going up and going down going at the same time. Like, human tug a war, but up and down. But, the down pull seemed to be winning. The Mars split into three pieces and each piece went in a different direction. Then, this thing called GPS tried to get us back to Earth but struggled. We orbited blank space. We's couldn't tell up, down, left, right. It'd just be space in all directions. At first, the lady running the thing gave us food but after time (there was no ways of us knowing time since it'd be night heres all the time), the lady said there ain't no more food. So, me and 2s try to eat each other, but failed. Neither of us ate neither of us. We both be real thirsty, too. Then, this lady found somethin called the old ISS. Is ISS good? Can't be worse than this. So, we be told to get off here. We hear voices in this place in weird tongues and our spaceship went away like a pet owner abondoning their pets. We try to find a place to do our tasks, but there ain't no such place. This ISS is weird. Then, we's still be hungry but there ain't no food here neither. Our muscles be getting smaller and we's slow starve to death. So, St. Peter, can we come in now?