Nameless

   “Hey, You!”

    “Who… Me?”

    “Who’d you think I was talking to. See anyone else around?”

    “You want to see me around? What does that mean?”

    “What are you talking about? Are you hard of hearing?”

    This exchange went on for quite some time. I sat under a tree by the bus stop waiting to see if an altercation would ensue. Escalation, because of uncertainty, has become a new normal that we have as yet to comprehend completely. Once the decree came from the Capital hierarchy, confusion of course resulted as one would expect. 

    The declaration making naming of a person, place, or thing, punishable by imprisonment wasn’t actually a shock, as we have been sliding into an authoritarian environment for some time. No one I believe had considered the removal of names from all signs, would lead to the eventual removal of names from all things. Once more, a cost cutting measure reinvented itself, and was now the costliest expenditure in recent memory.

    The legality of such a move is presently headed for the Supreme Court, which no one expects to punt the presumption put forth by the Authority, that names were detrimental to cohesion among the populace, subverting inclusiveness and distorting gentrification to new heights.   

    It was decided because of the lack of civility demonstrated, at of all the things, the Super Bowl, where the stands spilled onto the field after the game in protest of the Angels being declared the victor because of the points attributed to them.  Although irrefutable, the score was not believed by the losing contingent. The alternative scoreboard declared the Devils the victors after having reviewed many of the touchdowns, finding them questionable despite the various camera angles dedicated to insuring accuracy of the calls by referees.

    Many of the challenges to calls made on the field, although proven visibly accurate, were considered fabrications attributed to camera manipulations. Even the broken leg of one, known previously as Morris Hammer, now because of the mandate, simply the Hammer, was declared a stalling tactic that never occurred. He was shown dancing in the end zone after his sixty-three-yard run, proving his leg was not broken, nor had it ever been. The time stamp indicated the event occurred several weeks earlier but was also attributed to video manipulation.

    A loop hole was found by one of the lawyers for the NFL which allowed certain acronyms allowable, thus the Hammer.

    The legality of what is considered a name was hurried through the court system and it was determined that designations would be left to the individual municipalities, as they were responsible for assessing fines for non-compliance.

    The mellay at the game caused the Authority to issue an executive order assigning numbers of authenticity to all citizens claiming to be United States Citizens and therefore having the responsibility to vote for the proposed authentication. Of course the mandate caused consternation as it was purposely obtuse. No one had an inclination as to whether the new Authenticity Verification Number was to take the place of the Social Security Number assigned at birth, to every one taking their first breath within the confines of the U.S. borders.

    The confusion no doubt stemmed from that chaotic Super Bowl Game where the official outcome is still in doubt. I was at the game and can verify that having two scoreboards with differing displayed point counts was confusing as well as disruptive, in that the scoreboards so that they could be observed by the supporters had to be installed in the enemies territory. The placement caused no end of disruption by detractors attempting to scale the metal supports and topple the board, which no doubt had they been successful, would have resulted in death and injuries.

    The National Corps was called in to insure a modicum of peace but not being allowed to interact with the anti-factors physically, resorted to name calling and shaming, which no longer had any detrimental effect. Four people fell attempting to shimmy up a guide cable, they survived. Some people below, unaware of the heavenly antics above, did not. 

    In my capacity as a reporter for the Goal Post Gazette, I interviewed those from opposing camps, and although I was met with derogatory insults, did manage to ascertain the two groups, although avowed enemies, were for the most part identical in their ideological ruminating, and subsequent actions. 

    The Supreme Court, whose make up is primarily of retired NBA hall of famers, is considering the implications of determining a victor before the next Super Bowl, which because of monetary gauging, is now held twice a year.

    The Court was thrown a curve ball by the ACLU when they introduced an alternative to the alternative game film. Apparently someone had manipulated the official recordings, which because of the special requirements, social distancing, initiated after the nineteenth wave of a divergent Virus known as Dorthey, caused the game to be viewed only on the big screens overshadowing the stands. 

    The third version of the game, filmed on the field and considered the true version of events, indicated that coming to a conclusion as to which team was victorious was impossible, as a cheer leader, one Veronica Wigglesby, actually caught the winning touchdown pass. She of course was deemed ineligible, being a woman, not and official member of the team, and not having declared her status with the referee before assuming the wide receiver role. Her objection is being considered by the District Court, which is primarily manned by retired baseball Hall of Famers, and known for being strict when it comes to letting those they believe don’t belong, to enjoy the status of those that do.

    The No Name edict caused dictatorial problems as well. No one was sure where the next game was to be played, or which teams were playing. Having only access to twenty-six numbers, which someone thought would be appropriate because of the alphabetical interjection caused by the Free School Republic movement, limited the number of numbers eligible to be placed on uniforms, streets, or Authentication Certificates. 

    There have been rumors of recall injunctions being initiated to reverse the Authorization Bill, that because of the current No Name policy can’t be legally identified, and therefore can’t be acted upon. It appears that the entire country will be on hold until the No Name Authority decides what is considered legally a name. An injunction has been authorized declaring, numbers are, for all practical purposes, names, as they recognized a person, idea, or object, as such. 

    Functioning under the umbrella of the new mandate has brought the whole of society to a halt. I attempted to take a cab back to the news office, and not being able to relay an address or name of where I wished to go, we went nowhere. We just sat there attempting to conjure a solution from the limited knowledge we had of the Authorization Bill, which was broadcast where else, but Public Radio which was recently deemed illegal as it solicited listeners which was considered an unfair trade practice by the Murdoc conglomerate and prime supporter of the Supreme Court.

    I sat there in the back seat for nearly an hour waiting for clarity and found only divine inspiration from the God’s Hour radio program, and was charged $22.50 for the experience. I eventually ended up walking the four blocks to the office, despite the depression that had settled on me like the San Francisco fog.

    It has been rumored that a recall election has been scheduled, as well as a vote on the Authorization Bill allowing it to remain in effect, but not be enforceable, a compromise. Mayor Bernstein had been re-elected as it was illegal to question authority and no one any longer had the stamina to go through another announcer less football season.

    The Super Bowl winner was finally determined by the toss of the coin; a wooden nickel from the 1928 Worlds Fair where each nickel had been hand carved from the oldest known redwood tree in North America.

    No Name Boulevard remains to this day somewhere near the top of Nob Hill, which sports one of the better views of a city named after a saint, who it is claimed continues to haunt the twisted streets in search of a name, legal or not.