106 comments

Christian Fiction Happy

The class bell rang and that's when I knew that our teacher was going to give us an assignment. Every Friday she gives us a new assignment, but this week's assignment was to write a story about our future. My face was so red from being nervous. "Have a great weekend and don't forget to do your assignment!" She shouted, "Or all of you will get an F on your report card for writing." "Yes, ma'am," the class replied. We all went to the bus terrified, but I was mostly!! I finally got home, and I told my mom about it! "Ok, sweetie don't think too big about your future and try not to write anything bad for your future have fun doing it though!" Mom exclaimed.


"Oh, take a shower I'm making spaghetti for dinner."

"Yummy!" I replied and I went into the shower.

I thought about what I was going to write. Not excited but pumped if that makes sense.

"Supper is ready!" mom shouted

I grabbed the green towel to place on the floor of the bathroom before I stepped out. Also grabbed the blue towel to dry my body and my hair before getting dressed. I quickly ran downstairs smelling the delicious aroma of the spaghetti.

"It tastes amazing Mom," I spoke

"I'm glad you like it!" She said happily


I went to my room and started to write my future. I wanted to finish it that night, so I stayed up until midnight because after all, it was the weekend. I went to bed and woke up at 7:42. I remembered my paper; I went to my room and there it was glowing on my black dresser I did not think anything of it. I thought the sunlight just hit the paper. I went to my friend's house for the weekend. We went on the bus together Monday morning and this is where I get nervous and started to sweat, I put my page in the turn in a bin and ran to my seat...


Eight years later I was eight teen, and I had ten dogs.


I asked my mom about the story I wrote in class eight years ago she had it in a memorial box and when I was on my way to her house I was thinking about when it was glowing blue in my room. I finally got to my mom's house and everything that I wrote down happened!! It said: Hi it's you from eight years ago. I just wanted to write what I hope my future is like. So, here it is! I hope I have a big house with ten dogs and a nice jeep." My mom sat me down to talk to me... she said that I have always had that special ability. Once when I was little, I wanted it to start raining so I could jump in muddy puddles, and out of nowhere, it start to rain. That is when she knew I had that power, but she never told me. She then burst into tears out of nowhere.


"What's wrong Mom? This is the greatest thing ever!" I exclaimed

"Remember when dad passed away?" She sobbed

"Yes... that was like thirteen years ago. Why are you crying now?" I answered

"Well, he died saving your power." She spoke

My eyes almost popped out of my head! "How?!"

"...he had powers too. The only way to save yours was to give you his. Once your powers are removed... you can't breathe anymore and eventually die." She cried harder.


I started to cry too. In disbelief, I was in shock that I never knew.

I was only five when he passed away. I miss him I just don't remember him. I started crying "I wish I could meet him just once more." I whispered.

The ground started to shake I ran into the house! There he was sitting on the couch. "You wished for me?" He said smiling.


"Dad that's you?" I said crying

"Yes, it is." He replied

I ran into his arms..."Does this mean I get one last day with you?" I sobbed

He smiled at me "Yes we get one last day together."

I jumped up to go get mom. She was sitting on the porch. I could see a tear rolling off her cheek about to go underneath her chin.


"Mom come in the house right now!!" I screamed happily

she came inside. When she saw him, she ran faster than Elaine Thompson-Herah herself! She cried in his arms without saying anything just looking at him and crying. We then went to my dad's favorite peer and had a picnic.

We were crying and smiling all day long. It was the best day ever I finally got to meet my father even if it was for only one day.


It was time to say goodbye though we didn't want to we had five minutes. Dad told us about how all the years didn't feel like a long time because once you're in heaven there's no such thing as time. "I love you," cried Mom. "I love you too." he kissed her cheek. "I love you Dad and I always will. "I promise I'll never forget you again." I swore he then whispered to me "We love because God first loved us. 1John 4:19" he then started to get thinner and thinner disappearing into the wind. "I love Y'all. Goodbye!" he hollered


I looked at mom, she was smiling while she was waving goodbye.

I stared at her for a second, I could see a tear forming in her eye. She looked at me and smiled "It's a happy tear." I leaned in to hug her smelling her perfume that smelt like raspberries and her hair smelt like coconut cream conditioner. She was wearing her favorite polka-dot dress for the picnic. I was also wearing my favorite dress. "He's in a better place now." She smiled


We both cried happily.


May 15, 2022 15:54

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106 comments

Kaizlees Stories
17:56 May 15, 2022

Such a good story I'm working om my own right now this one inspired me

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Nicole Of 2022
17:58 May 15, 2022

Yay! Thank you so much I'm glad you enjoyed!! Update me when you post.😁👋🏼

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Kaizlees Stories
17:59 May 15, 2022

Of course no problem 😊 I love how u used emojis I'm also going to be that

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Leo Luzvardi
03:33 Jun 07, 2022

I LOVE SPAGHETTI. Very cute story. 10/10 (📖)

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Nicole Of 2022
02:10 Jun 08, 2022

Hate this one the most ngl but thank you lol. You forgot the negative sign by that 10🤣thx

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Leo Luzvardi
18:09 Jun 08, 2022

Why do you hate this one? Shhhhhhh, you're delerious. Sometimes a story isn't amazing, but it has good potential, think about it that way.

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Nicole Of 2022
18:18 Jun 08, 2022

It just doesn't have anything lmao im not delirious.

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Nicole Of 2022
18:26 Jun 08, 2022

Also my first ones make me wanna cringe and die LOL

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Leo Luzvardi
16:50 Jun 10, 2022

shhhhHHHHHHHH delirious

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Nicole Of 2022
21:54 Jun 11, 2022

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dont tell anyone XD

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14:01 May 23, 2022

oh mah gowd. We are like the same person. I'm Scorpio, I love harry potter, Spanish all of the things you put in your bio I relate to! (Except the Gryffindor. I'm a Hufflepuff. :3

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Nicole Of 2022
16:16 May 23, 2022

omggg LOL twinsssss

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17:18 May 23, 2022

Literally the same personnnnn ahhh! I've not met another Scorpio. (Even in real life. Oof. We're going extinct lol.

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Nicole Of 2022
17:20 May 23, 2022

sameee wow lol what day is yours?

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Nicole Of 2022
17:24 May 23, 2022

ahhh same height, eye color, hair color, length!!!!

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17:25 May 23, 2022

Ahhh! My day is Nov. 16

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Nicole Of 2022
17:27 May 23, 2022

Nov. 20th!!!!!! LOL im considered a fake Scorpio bc Scorpio days end on the 21st LOL

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Dhwani Jain
11:55 May 21, 2022

AWW! It was simple, cute and bittersweet. Although it did have some errors....but I am a sucker for happy endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, I have a blog and a podcast, if you want to check it out. (links in bio) Comments related to them will be appreciated.

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Nicole Of 2022
15:39 May 21, 2022

Thank you!! I'll be sure to check them out when I get the chance!

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Dhwani Jain
16:16 May 21, 2022

=D

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Nicole Of 2022
16:58 May 21, 2022

I listened to it! Neat tips and tricks!

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Dhwani Jain
17:11 May 21, 2022

Tips and tricks?????? I didn't give any tips and tricks!!!!!!!!!?

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Nicole Of 2022
17:19 May 21, 2022

umm you said word for word "here are ways to make your writing better just by listening." Or sum

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Kendall Defoe
00:41 May 17, 2022

Simple tale told well, but let me point out a few things: "Oh, take a shower I'm making spaghetti for dinner." - shouldn't you have a break here for a comma or period? '8 years later I was 18 and I became rich and owed a mansion and I had 10 dogs.' - try using 'eight', 'eighteen' and 'ten' here (rules: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/when-to-spell-out-numbers/) "I love you too." he kissed her cheek. - this is just one of many such examples I noticed (you should use a comma after 'you', and you have a new sentence starting right after this l...

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Nicole Of 2022
01:04 May 17, 2022

I Love exclamation marks Lol!!! They show excitement so it's fun Thank you I went back to correct everything. "Oh, take a shower I'm making spaghetti for dinner." Does not need another comma/period. but I do agree with everything else. Thank you again! 😁

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Kendall Defoe
03:09 May 18, 2022

You need a break after "take a shower". It sounds awkward without it.

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Zelda C. Thorne
20:41 May 15, 2022

Hi Shaylynn, thanks for reading my story. And your story was delightfully unexpected! It had a bit of everything: magic, drama, loss, family, dreams.. Wow. Well done. Love your imagination! Some critique/tips: Try reading your story out loud when editing. I do it. It helps me notice awkward sentences. Look at dialogue grammar. Take the book you're reading at the moment and find some dialogue. Look at how it is done, where the full stops and commas are, when are words capitalised etc. It's tricky and tedious at times, but worth it in the ...

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Nicole Of 2022
20:55 May 15, 2022

Thank you for critiquing!😁

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This story is so cute!!! I love the topic, it's very unique. I also wasn't expecting her dad to make an appearance, so that was cool! Love it!

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Nicole Of 2022
18:42 May 15, 2022

Aww thank you!

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John K Adams
16:57 May 15, 2022

Hi, "I went to bed and woke up at 7:42 I remembered my paper I went to my room and there it was glowing on my black dresser I did not think anything of it I thought the sun light just hit the paper I went to my friend's house for the weekend." needs to be broken into several sentences. You might pay attention to past tense/future tense being mixed. "at of nowhere" (and using 'out of nowhere' in the next sentence) several sentences lack end punctuation. right -write "When she seen him" - saw 'peer' pier You might break dialogue into new parag...

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Nicole Of 2022
17:37 May 15, 2022

Lol Thank you, I guess I didn't even read it myself after I was done writing it because, in my head it was correct just not on the computer. 😂 Thank you for taking the time to read and critique! Thx again

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John K Adams
16:05 May 15, 2022

Your exuberant style is captivating. I suggest having a friend proof read your work for typos and spelling before hitting publish. I find that I catch many errors by reading my stories aloud when editing. That said, I enjoy your stories a lot.

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Nicole Of 2022
16:07 May 15, 2022

Lol thank you... I use I site that corrects errors automatically. Can you please tell me the error so I can edit them? Tysm!

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