The letter

The pandemic was deadly, unyielding and never ending. Everybody went into isolation, we all thought it would soon be over, but as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, humanity lost hope. We do not really know how long the pandemic lasted; it is easy to lose track of time when you are indoors all the time. Was it God? Mother Nature? The flow of time? Either way, the pandemic suddenly ended but nothing was the same, we all struggled to move on, but the effects of the pandemic still weigh us down. 

“DURO! Why? Why! It should have been me, why did the quarquar virus have to take you,” Mama Folake wailed as she clutched her chest. She was not the only one wailing in pain. Almost everybody in this village had lost somebody, we all had tears in our eyes, and it was a very emotional period, the smell of agony filled the air. I lost someone, it wasn’t my parents nor siblings, I lost my best friend. I lost someone I cherished more than myself and I was in pain, but I could not equate my pain to that of Mama Folake who just lost her only child, so I lightly clutched my chest as I cried in silence. “Where are the dinosaurs?” a little girl asked her dad, but he hushed her. 

         I lost my smile, smiling became difficult. My mum kept on reminding me that nothing can be done except to move on, the living must live. Even Mama Folake who felt Duro’s pain the most advised me to move on, she kept telling me to accept Duro’s death as he would not be happy to see me stagnant in life because of him. I always wondered why they kept telling me to move on like Duro’s death meant nothing till I noticed that everyone was just pretending to move on, the smiles were forced, we’re all grieving in our own way. 

I sat on the cold floor in my room, thinking about how life used to be and how it will be from now on. I ran my hands through my thick Afro which Duro loved to braid as I cried. I made sure to release all the tears I have been holding in as my mum rushed into my room after hearing my cries resonate through the mud walls of the house. She held me tightly and didn’t let go as I cried through the night. The following morning, she looked shocked to see me smiling, she knew the smile was forced but she was still surprised that I managed to crack a smile. I had decided to move on, perhaps the reason why it felt so tight around my chest was because I had shed minimal tears and kept everything in. 

         When grieving, it is hard to hear others, the whole world becomes nothing but an annoying fly buzzing round the ear. I cannot believe I am just becoming aware of the new issue that was shaking the village; we all thought they were superior beings. I still cannot believe all the dinosaurs died, regardless of specie, the quarquar virus was more deadly than we thought. The dinosaurs which weren’t a threat to humans and lived among us like pets and were always helpful in the farm; farming was faster because of them. Burying the dinosaurs will not be an easy task, I thought as I went my way.

I have been doing well so far, everybody has. Farming is harder and slower than usual, but we are trying. My mum kept reminding me on how proud she was of me, she was happy that she could no longer hear my silent cries during the night, she felt like she could finally breathe around me. I do not know when it started, if it was a coping mechanism or I have gotten delusional, but it all started with a whisper. I could hear Duro calling my name the way he always used to, I could swear Duro was just beside me. I even started to hear him shouting my name the way he always did when he wanted me to play outside with him. One night, I got scared, was it a ghost? I begged him to leave me alone; I asked him why he was suddenly doing this when I was just starting to move on. However, my cries and pleadings swam around the room and evaporated. I don’t know what, but something in me snapped, I started to question myself. “Do you not miss Duro? Why are you telling him to leave you alone? You should go to him” 

I could not go without writing something, I had to narrate everything from my perspective and then maybe they would understand why I had to do this. It was hard; I really tried to move on but Duro kept appearing before me, I kept seeing him everywhere even when I close my eyes, I could hear him, smell him, and feel him. So, I decided to meet him, I am sorry.

“A pandemic killed the dinosaurs not a meteor?” Faye asked me and I just shrugged. “Are you sure you deciphered it properly? You didn’t just write a fiction for us, right?” she asked. “I might be foolish sometimes, but I’m not stupid” I reply while scanning through the paper on which I deciphered the ancient writing. Unwanted memories run through my head; I vividly remember the punishment I went through for ending my life. “Then…how were you able to decipher it? I mean, many scholars couldn’t” she asks expecting a revolutionary answer. I stare at her for a few seconds “How? Because I’m the one that wrote it,” I answer as she looks at me with so much confusion dancing on her face, I could tell she was waiting for me to tell her I was joking and give her a reasonable answer, but I just give her a smile.