#Shrimpy

Kulu Onya’s thumb hovered over the send icon on his phone. Waves of anxiety sent shocking currents of nervousness throughout his sinewy fingers. They begged to jitter, to clench themselves into fist, but he wouldn’t allow them to. His brain wanted him to tap that pesky icon underneath his thumb. But his heart cried out a warning that it may not be able to bear the weight of the repercussions. In the end his brain won out. He hit send and the one word message was suddenly unleashed. Just one word.

‘Why’

Kulu threw his phone down next to him on the plush king sized bed. It landed soundlessly atop the sleek black satin sheets. He tightly hugged himself as he rocked along the edge of his heavily foamed mattress. His nerve riddled hands squeezed the taunt muscles of his shoulders searching desperately for relief. His eyes stared at the wall of glass that separated his bedroom from his backyard. The morning sun shined directly onto the infinity pool that occupied much of his yard. Casting liquid shadows across his spacious bedroom walls.

Kulu was a creature who craved routine. Every morning he would awake at exactly 6:26am, he would order a bagel and coffee to be delivered, then he would swim fifty laps in his pool as he awaited his order. He would sit down in his mahogany kitchen nook, eat his bagel, take small sips of coffee and scroll through Nurv@na for exactly one hour and twenty minutes. He would then swim another hundred laps before meditating for forty four minutes. Then and only then would he be ready to paint. It had to be that routine, in that order, done precisely right otherwise his skills would diminish and the day would be a complete and utter waste.

Today was going to be a complete and utter waste.

There was nothing he could do about that. They had come during the night. The bloodthirsty savages had finally found his weakness. They did not hesitate, they did not fire warning shots. They simply attacked. Their daggers thrusting into him a million times. Each time documented and announced by a ping and vibration of his phone. Only these daggers were not constructed out of steel. No. These daggers were shrimp emojis. 

Blair burst through his bedroom door wielding a phone in each hand. For years she had served Kulu as his assistant. Throughout all that time her wardrobe had remained forever constant. A freshly pressed, modest white blouse and brown khaki pants. That’s what she wore. It was what she always wore. Until today. Today she looked disheveled. Her hair hurriedly tied back in a sloppy ponytail that left behind a multitude of stray blonde locks. Her outfit of choice was a baby blue, baggy hoodie with cutesy pink kitty skulls plastered in the middle and a pair of heavily bleach stained sweatpants. On her face was plastered a look of deep concern. A look that grew larger as she took in the sight of Kulu rocking about in bed clad in only a pair of white boxer briefs.

“Boss,” she practically whispered.

“You’ve seen…” Kulu was unable to finish the sentence. He was unable to even look at her.

“Every…I think lots of people have seen them. It’s going to be alright though. I’ve already issued a boatload of DMCA’s they should be getting removed right now.”

Rebecca Lowe’s face flashed through Kulu’s mind. He had watched her video post in a hypnotized state earlier. The memory of her blushing red cheeks, the sound of her hysterical giggle, the shrimp that she playfully twirled within her fingers, the caption that read ‘Poor lil Kulu’, were all burned into his head. On repeat it played over and over in his mind.

Almost worse than that was the ever soaring number of likes that sat proudly underneath the post. They climbed higher as more and more of her two million followers joined in on the joke and boosted the hashtag, ‘shrimpy’ up the trending list. The glaring irony of the whole situation was the simple fact that a week ago Rebecca Lowe was a nobody. She would still be a nobody had it not been for the ‘Kulu Onya Challenge’. Kulu had granted her the opportunity to live her dreams and what did she do? She betrayed him the first chance she got. But was it her fault, or was she just posting the honest reaction of everybody else. Kulu leaned heavily to the latter.

“We’ll blame AI,” proclaimed Blair.

“It’s not AI.”

“I…I figured, but that tactic has worked before with other leaks.”

“What was your reaction? When…when you saw them.”

“Well, I thought that it was a huge invasion of privacy and I was worried about you. You know…because of the reactions and…”

“The size,” interjected Kulu. “It would be different if it wasn’t…”

“Well…I don’t know. It shouldn’t be different.”

“But it is,” said Kulu as he slowly stood up. “It doesn’t help that I’m a black man.”

“I don’t think that should matter.”

“It does. That’s why this is viral. There are…expectations when you’re a black man. You’re supposed to be a certain way, act a certain way, dress, talk, eat, drink, dance and love a certain way. I’ve always struggled with these. My whole life. My parents…they were proud black people. I wanted to be a proud black man. I really did. I was never accepted as one. I…I never fit the mold. I was…different. People called me an Oreo. They told me I was black on the outside, but white on the inside. They even referred to other people of different races as being blacker than me simply based on how they talked and carried themselves. I was always an outsider.

“Then I started painting. I became an artist. That made me black again. Suddenly I was finally accepted. It felt good. But this…this will ruin all that. All those people who claimed I wasn’t black enough before will resurface. They will use this as proof. Then there will be the jealous others and the others and the others. They will all come,” said Kulu. Slowly he walked towards the mirror that stood atop his dresser. He stared at his reflection as the sadness in his eyes grew.

Blair knew she had to say something, but had no idea what that could be. This was far beyond her area of expertise. “Hey you’re still Kulu Onya. You’re still the guy that pulled himself from poverty through the power of his art. You’re still the man who can create magic and summon gods through the stroke of a brush. You’re still the Magnificent Magician of Montbello.”

“That’s right, I am.” Kulu suddenly stood taller. His face grew brighter.

“Exactly!” excitedly proclaimed Blair. “So what if you just so happen to have a very small ding-a-ling.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Blair immediately regretted them, but it was too late.

The brightness in Kulu’s face instantly vanished. His eyes looked mortified as he slowly turned his head to face Blair. “So you do think it’s small!”

“I…uh…that…I….it…came out wrong. That’s not what I meant. Not like that.”

Kulu collapsed back onto his bed, his face blankly glaring at his stucco encrusted ceiling. “Don’t look at me. Please.”

“Uh…ok,” sputtered Blair, her eyes turning towards a corner of the room.

“No turn around, please. Look at the wall. I can’t see your face right now.”

“Um…ok,” Blair faced the wall. Meanwhile, a thick layer of awkwardness hung about in the room. Blair blew out a large sigh before she attempted to speak once more, “Was it Adeline?”

“Had to be. She was the only one that I sent those pictures to. I…I really thought she loved me. Why would she do this to me?”

“Did you ask her?”

“I text her. I can’t check my phone right now. I…I just don’t want it to be true. I just want to go back to yesterday.”

Blair blew out another large sigh as she steeled herself, “I…I was leaked once.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was a long time ago. I was just seventeen. It…it really messed me up. For a long time. The things people said, the way people treated me after they found out, it…it really sucked. I blamed my boyfriend. I knew it had to have been him.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah it was, but he was…he wasn’t a good guy. I don’t know that much about Adeline, but from what I do know, she isn’t like him.”

Kulu looked over at the phone lying on the bed. His anxiety coming back as he grabbed the device.

“You can do it Kulu,” said Blair in a reassuring tone.

Kulu took in a deep inhale before he unlocked the device. His fingers quickly scrolled past the wall of notifications until they came to the one he had been looking for. ‘5 new messages from Addy’ it read. Kulu let out a long exhale before he pressed the icon.

‘OMG Kulu’

‘I’m so sorry’

‘It wasn’t me I was hacked’

‘I’m going to fix this somehow’

‘I love you. With everything I am with all my heart and my soul I love you. Please believe me. You mean more to me than anything else in the world.’

As if a thousand pounds of weight had suddenly dropped off his frame, Kulu felt light and free and elated. Wave after wave of relief crashed over him. He chuckled, he smiled, his eyes watered and his anxiety evaporated. “It wasn’t her…she loves me. She really loves me.”

“Told ya boss,” said Blair as she looked at him with a cheerful smile.

“She loves me. Even though…she still loves me. Maybe…maybe that’s all that matters.”

“It is. And don’t worry about the other stuff,” said Blair holding up the two phones in her hands, “I’m going to take care of it. You’ll see. It might be a while, but eventually everything will be like yesterday again. I promise boss.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem boss. Just doing my job.” Blair turned to leave the room.

“Blair,” said Kulu, stopping her right before she exited. “I mean it though, I really mean thank you.”

“I know Kulu. You're welcome.”