Sense

           You know what the differences between me and a prisoner is? A prisoner has rights and the right to a fair trial, whereas I was threatened to sign the contract and forced to lie in court. Fuck America. “With liberty and justice for all,” except the disabled. Oh, but this is the optimal place for me. I'll make friends and socialize and they won't have to worry about me losing my benefits. Great. Meanwhile, my next door neighbor (we share a kitchen, lovely) says from the time he get up until the time he goes to sleep, “I farted. I upchucked. It's stinky. It's pungent. I farted. I upchucked.” over and over like a broken record. Fuck, the person reading this story probably doesn't even know what a fucking record is. Hell, you ask kids nowadays what a 45 is and they think you're talking about a gun. 

           Oh, but I have the right to date people in the community. Forget that we're supervised by morons every time we go on trips who want to keep us safe from “stranger danger”. Oh, but they need to make sure our apartments are clean because I have so many visitors come to my room. No, I don't. I don't want any of these violent kleptomaniacs in my room. Once, I was pinned to the ground by a fat motherfucker and almost became like George Floyd, because they need to make sure my fucking room is clean for family weekend. The food sucks, the staff sucks, the health care sucks, everything sucks here.

           Oh, and let's not forget about the fucking stalker. This bitch is outside my dorm every morning and sending people to give me unimportant messages like, she wants to see my teddy bear. What am I doing tomorrow? Where am I going after lunch. Hell, if I had a lynch, I'd go hang myself. Son-of-a-bitch, 

           Oh, and all day long these idiots here are screaming at the top of their lungs to the moron who's right beside them. Is everyone in this goddamn shit hole deaf but me? Maybe. Deaf or dumb. Hey, someone wants to tell me all their goddamn problems. Fine, you want to bitch to me, give me a fucking W2 form so I can get paid. Oh, no, but the government thinks I'm permanently disabled and I'm not allowed to earn any fucking money or have choices about where I go, who my friends are, where I live, can't travel, but they feel safe. Then why the fuck don't they live here then? Oh, yea, and this gourmet food. Things like fried fish, overcooked beef, dry chicken. Mmm. Yum, yum. Hell, I don't even think my dog would eat this shit, but my dog died. And, they don't allow pets of any kind in this shit hole, because then, maybe, I could have an intelligent conversation with somebody. Oh, and to drink: water, iced tea, and lemonade. The whole fucking world would end if they got us sodas. Oh, and we can't get caffinated coffee in the morning because it might negatively impact some of the residents. Hell, if I don't get a real fucking cup of Joe, I might negatively impact the staff. 

           We can't decide where we eat, when we eat, who we eat with, or what we eat. Oh, and the violence predominates during meal time. Let's all argue with each other about fucking sports, because these idiots care about whether or not their team is going to win. I don't watch sports or funny videos or people slipping. I watch the news and Jeopardy every night, since it's one of the few intelligent things still on the boob tube. 

           Oh, and we get internet access for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon with adult blockers. That way we can't see porn or order anything without our legal guardians' consent. Oh, and we care about safety from the outside. Gotta make sure nobody dangerous comes in but don't give a rat's ass about the dangerous people who live inside here. Someone breaks into our house at 1:15 am and it's a resident, so security can't do shit about it. Forget the resident is violent and steals things. Oh, no. We're safe. 

           Oh, and the people here need to tell me every motherfucking thing that's in their head, because somebody fucking cares about what their thinking. Oh, and let's ask the same question over and over to annoy the shit out of me.    

           So, I decide to get a fucking library card and get books by mail. At least then I can get some intellectual stimulation. But, with the idiot beside me telling me about his farts, I can't concentrate, so I go in the backyard and there's finally quiet an I can read and unwind. So, I'm reading and one of the fucking morons decides it'd be a great idea to piss from the top floor in the back of the building. If these people were any dumber they'd be brain dead. 

           Maybe I could get myself committed to the looney bin, at least there they'd have lights out.  But, I can't shave, shower, or have a computer there. Motherfucker.  Forget that my legal guardian is throwing money down the drain every time they pay rent here. I'll never be able to own this apartment. It's a bad investment. I hate the people, I hate the staff, I don't feel safe, but that's okay, because they feel safe with me.  Forget about the USA Constitution: the First, Second, Fourth, Thirteenth, or Twenty-First Amendments, because none of these amendments make my legal guardians or the motherfucking staff here feel safe. The only way to get high is in working with rubber cement in art class.  

           They have a sensory room with a tube or water that bubbles up and different colors. It's for people with autism. I don't have autism, but it's one of the few places I can have quiet an peace.  I can read there without an umbrella. I can turn the lights on and off and lock the door if I want. I sometimes dream the staff will forget I'm in there and I could just sleep in there for a week. I don't even give a fuck if I miss my medications or they form a search party. I'm just going into the sensory room and hiding, until everyone forgets about me. The cops, firemen, etc. will look but after a month, it'll be a cold case and nobody'll care. I'll hide under the seat cushion and have sleep and quiet. It'll be heaven.