Memory Driven

It was a Friday evening and here I was driving my Grandma’s friend to the airport. Don’t get me wrong I do not mind; well I confess there were some complaints to Mom, as I could hardly complain to Grandma. That said at twenty years of age shouldn’t my life be more exciting?

Mrs. Cohen is a sweet old lady and I had met her a few times before. She was already waiting for me when I arrived. I had got out to open the car door for her and helped her into her seat then put her battered suitcase in the trunk.

“Such lovely manners.” She told me with a smile as I fastened my seatbelt. I blushed somewhat but my Mom had drilled the importance of manners to all of us. I would have to at least report that one back.

I was aware of the musty perfumed scent engulfing the car. Mrs. Cohen was old, really old but amazing fit and agile for her age. She must be ninety something.

We drove in an awkward silence until she said that adage old people always say “When I was your age.” I tried not to eye roll and was only half listening to her as I was focusing on Siri and her directions. Suddenly though I tuned in.

“I was younger than you are now when I first came here.” She looked wistful as she spoke, her English heavily accented.

“Where did you live before?” I asked inquisitively.

Her eyes widened as I glanced over.

“You do not need to hear an old woman’s story.” She told me letting out a guffaw. I have to say I was intrigued. I was about to tell her I did, but she resumed before I could.

“I came from Poland in 1945, but before that I lived in Hungary just outside Budapest.” She told me. We were at a stop light and I looked over to her and saw her eyes glisten with a melancholy sadness.

“That was the end of the war.” I remarked more airing my thoughts than anything else.

“It was the end of so much but it was the start of a new life here.” She sighed and continued.

“I lost my whole family; I was spared for some reason and here I am many years later an old woman.” She threw her arms up as she spoke.

There were tears in her eyes and I shifted a tad uncomfortably but I was fascinated and wanted to know more.

“I was in Auschwitz, the time I spent there seems longer than the whole time I have been here.”

I had no idea she was a Holocaust survivor and I was filled with emotion and curiosity.

“I am sorry.” I replied my words inadequate but what else could I say?

“Words can never describe that place. I will never understand.” She replied spitting out the words with total disdain.

“Unfathomable.” I remarked.

“I must be a little crazy going back but I have to see it one last time whilst I can.”

I nearly choked on the water I had just sipped. Grandma had not told me where she was going, just that I needed to take her to the airport. I had assumed she was going to visit one of her children.

“My son and daughter had the same reaction.” She laughed wryly. “They do not want me to go and they do not know I am going today. I will call them when I arrive tomorrow.”

This little old lady I was learning was so feisty and brave. Though I could hardly believe she was going back to that wretched place alone. A place that is haunting for anyone but especially a survivor.

“Surely they would go with you?” 

“Yes they would, but I need to do this alone, they do not understand.” She replied, throwing her arms up once more.

I was not sure I did but there was something in her demeanor that I did not dare protest or argue with her.

“I survived that place by the bare threads of human kindness and love. They were the darkest hours, but the light although so very faint at times, could never be extinguished. Your kindness today, taking me to the airport and listening to me rambling on. It is those things that keep me sane.”

I was about to protest that it was nothing and felt guilty of feeling begrudged. I now realized there was nothing better I could be doing, but once more she continued.

“I escaped Auschwitz and came to America thanks to the goodness of people; it’s not been easy but those threads have kept me together.”

I pondered on what she had said, the focus on the miniscule kindness in that horrific place. Humility but also total respect filled me, she was a truly remarkable lady.

“And my life has been good here. I was married to my husband for sixty years before his passing and my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are total blessings. Yet I never stopped worrying something may happen again, I could never be free from that. Maybe seeing it again will put my mind at rest.” 

“Are you sure about doing this alone?” I asked with concern.

“You are sweet to worry but trust me this is nothing.” She made a poof noise as she did and I had to stifle a laugh. She really was the most endearing lady with such charismatic mannerisms.

I thought about offering to go with her but as much as I hated the thought of her doing this alone, I also knew she could. I was also beginning to understand why she needed to do this solo. This seemingly frail old lady was as strong as an ox; how else had she survived and continued to survive.

We chatted some more, mostly about me; she had deliberately changed the subject and I had taken the hint. Before long we were at the airport.

“You can just drop me outside over there.” She said pointing to the drop off section.

“No, I will take you in and help you check in with your luggage.” I replied firmly and headed to the short-term car park before she could protest.

“Thank you my dear.” She replied putting her hand over mine and I was glad she was accepting some help.

There were tears in her eyes and in mine. Truth be told I was sad our journey was coming to an end as I maneuvered the car into a space. I wanted to know more about this wonderful old lady.

“Always remember kindness and love.” She told me.

“I will and I will be here to pick you up. I would like to hear about the trip if you want to talk about it that is.” And this time I was glad to offer.

A smile broadened across her face. “Thank you.” She clasped my hand tighter and I noticed the outline of her tattoo. She saw my diverted gaze and softly said “It is a reminder that I survived, that evil was defeated.” 

“You are a remarkable lady, thank you for sharing all this with me.” I told her.

Journeys can be arduous, merely a way to get from A to B, but today it was a true privilege to hear her small piece of history as she embarked on her remarkable voyage. I sincerely hoped she would find some solace and peace.