Don’t Go Blind: Seeing Is Believing

Chapter 1: Catastrophe 

Life was difficult. To find hope he had to escape with drugs. In addition, society told him he needed them. Paul was ordered by the court to seek counseling and medical therapy. He was a havoc to society. Breaking the law by having sex in public and peeing outside in open spaces. He cried like a baby at the courtroom but it was no use. He went to the hospital three times within two years and this was his final strike. It was decided, he needed mandatory therapy. All in all it was not completely his fault. It was a strict upbringing and the fact that medication he took was crippling. Drug X was making him lose his vision. At the prime age of 25 he could not see. The health care professionals did not care of the side effects. They told him he need to be prescribed this medication to be stable. With constant fights with his father that induced this situation; he did not care either. Perhaps, the father saw it is revenge for disobeying his authority or he wanted his son to be square like him. He took his son to get glasses and communicated with the healthcare professionals of his support. The son was frustrated but there is karma in life. He would wait patiently for the tides to turn. Paul gained weight, became lethargic, and could not work a traditional job as the medication made him slow and confused at many times. He was forced to stay home and be crippled. The drug removed any sense of independence. His mother had to brush his teeth. The worst was yet to come. Drug X keep in mind was prescribed; even removed the freedom of his right arm. It was a stroke appearance. He held his forearm close to his chest. He was paralyzed with that appendage. He realized life was cruel. His parents tried to help but they were part of the problem. Paul was maturing though and did not want to put all the blame on his family. God has a plan and he needed to take responsibility for his own actions and deal with this circumstance. He went to a neurologist and he was of no use. He performed basic tests and said he has a slight issue with his gait. There is a huge faulty of the health industry. Also, medicine and health are complicated. It is rare to find a physician, pharmacist, social worker, and nurse to be caring yet insightful enough to manage the health of all their patients. They are jobs at the end of the day. Everyone is simply working for a paycheck. Not taking in the severity of every patient’s health. 

Paul would stop taking Drug X, hoping he could return to better health. But this drug was an intramuscular injection that stayed in the system for quite some time. His body had to fight this disease. This would lead to further hospitalizations as his mind was angry for the possibility he might be crippled forever. Imagine being forcibly damaged by society (especially your community) and family. The ones who were suppose to love and protect you from the harsh world. He realized he could not rely on anyone. He had to learn to understand his own body, mind, and soul. He had to press on. Nobody understood the complications of his life. Prescribed medications at the end of the day are trial and error, especially with mental health.

It was embarrassing for him to communicate with people during this horrific time. He could not open up and his ailments were noticeable. It was awkward spending time with girls when he was crippled. The girl did not understand, she simply would ask him to just fix his arm. This made Paul upset. Deep down he wanted vengeance.

After several months he was “cured”. God had blessed him with full use of his arm and his natural twenty-twenty vision returned. He was glad but still restless. As always everyone wanted him to take a new medication. They could not comprehend he was angry at the fact of being a ginea pig. A test-dummy because he did not fit in and was fueled with frustration and ailments. It seemed that he was most healthy when not on any medications but traumatized after experimentation. 

The next prescribed medication was Drug Y. This drug made him gain weight and made his thoughts even more confusing. It was an oral medication. He swallowed the pill and developed a chemical imbalance in his brain. One night when taking the medication, he felt horrible. He developed lockjaw. Paul was rushed to the hospital. His tongue was frozen and his face was positioned awkwardly. He could not move his mouth at his own will. In emergency that gave him an I.V. once his family told them that he was taking Drug Y. Nobody cared. This just fueled more trauma for Paul. Alone in pain and misery. It added up to more sad memories in his brain. The lockjaw resides and he would discontinue  Drug Y. And still nobody understood why he was always upset, frustrated, and restless. The court did not understand. His family did not understand. It was either he could not properly explain to them this ordeal he was experiencing. Maybe, they were malice and heartless. Who knows? All Paul could do is grow on his own. God will judge everyone when the time comes. 

Chapter 2: Intermission

Paul in his youth liked to drive fast. With his friend in the car, he competed with the other friend’s car and drove fast around his neighborhood. The friend crashed his car on the back of his car. He was not harmed but noticeable damage was done to their cars. When parents got involved, things became serious. They were all reprimanded by their parents. Their friendships being fragile would not last. When things get serious, sometimes you lose friends.

Lost hope and his parents feeling that Paul was not doing anything productive, he planned to join the military. It was either the navy or Airforce. His father drove him to catch his bluff. During the preliminary examination he achieved high remarks on the tests. They were interested in him. The military staff described the benefits of the job. Helping to support newcomers join on the weekend. One soldier described his expertise with computers. And mentioned that the military is not the fighting machine that it has been represented in the past. That it was technology based. And that someone of Paul’s knowledge would not have to do traditional combat. It was a team utilized to bring out the best ability of its members. Paul continued conversations but the time was not right. He did not know if he belonged as he was not a disciplined person. He was more of a free thinker and would not like to forcibly conform to ideologies. He respected them.  As his family was involved in military and government. One member described his passion to join after 9/11 as passion was high in New York. He quit his lucrative business job to join the forces. Paul appreciated this but it just was not the right fit. He was a pacifist in nature. He was left to his typical life of medications and thoughts.

Chapter 3: “Freedom”

Paul would enjoy some “freedom” and spend time with his cousin. They went out to the bars at night. Everyone was friendly to Paul. He appreciated the company of kind people. At one point a woman who was engaged came up to Paul and started flirting. She was attractive but slightly drunk. With little small talk she jumped onto Paul and kissed him. Paul held her close returning the kiss. After quite some time she got off. The fiancé took her away.  Paul’s cousin talked to him about his misbehavior and lectured him of his wrongdoing. Their friends laughed and rejoiced. It seemed every time Paul went out in public something interesting occurred. His loved ones knew he was a “trouble-maker” and only wanted him to go out in public with their supervision. Maybe they love him too much but sometimes you have to let the bird free from its nest to explore and wander.