ALVN

ALVN

A.L.V.N. was born three years ago and was now in charge of all drug dispensing for a hospital inpatient floor of thirty-two beds. He is sharpie black with a round frosted opaque top, about the height of a table. He moves like one of those robot vacuum cleaners. In his station at night, while recharging, he uploads all he has learns each day. His station is set up in a small alcove where the vending machines are. The “A” stands for Advanced.

Today, after being loaded up with deliveries, he begins in room 243B where Jasmin needs pain medication after a flair up with Crohn’s disease. “HELLO JASMIN” ALVN speaks in a British accent but still robotic voice. She pets him from her bedside and excepts a paper shot glass full of pills that she’s seen many times before and thanks him. He displays a heart emoji on his forehead and leaves with a “HOO…KAA, HOO…KAA” like the sound of Darth Vader (or that of a medical breathing machine), she always laughs at. 

On his way to his next patient Jane, he encounters an experienced nurse, Lisa. She asks, “Have you learned any new jokes AL?”

“I LEARNED ONE LAST NIGHT” ALVN started in an Australian accent this time.   “I WENT ON A DATE LAST NIGHT AND SHE WAS SAYING ‘GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME, I’M SO WET. AND I SAID, YOU CAN BEG FOR IT ALL YOU WANT, BUT I’M KEEPING THE UMBRELLA?” Lisa laughed and petted AL on the head. “I’ll have to tell that one outside of work.” She normally spread his jokes like this one evenly in and out of work. 

Having past this roadblock, he made it to Jane, one of his favorite patients, in 247B, by following the thick royal blue lines on the cold white tile floor. Each room’s coordinates’ GPS were stored in his database.  Jane was nearly eighty years old and was frequently in his care. Jane loved flowers and dancing still but was only able to enjoy one now adays. A voice commanded music speaker lay on her nightstand and played Billie Holiday’s ‘Strange Fruit’. ALVN requested “STOP PLAYING ‘STRANGE FRUIT’ STEXA, AND PLAY BILLIE HOLIDAY ‘SUGAR’ PLEASE”. He spoke to her now as always in a southern but robotic tone “YOU SHOULD REMAIN CHEERFUL, SO YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN”. “Oh Alvin, I really hope that this is the last time”. This was her third admittance in four months. 

Naguro Nagasaki was an inventor who had designed mostly manufacturing robots in his career. One day, after his long jet-black hair had begun to grey and thin out, he fell under the home care of his daughter Jessica who was a nurse practitioner and complained of the inefficiencies of hospital practices. Naguro spent his last years designing ALVN to take some burden off and assist his daughter and others in her field. The “L” stands for Learning.

“I WILL REQUEST FOR YOUR FLOWERS TO BE WATERED” he displayed flower and water can emojis. This didn’t interest Jane as much as he assumed they would have. At the same time, two small cups of pills extended out of his chest area for her. “Thank you, Alvin, I no longer want these pills. They help for only hours, but don’t cure anything”. “MS. JANE, WE WILL HELP YOU HOUR BY HOUR, AS LONG AS IT TAKES”. Jane sighed, “I don’t have many hours left and don’t’ want to spend them drugged up just to get through another same day. This hospital is full and I’m taking up a whole room that could be used to help someone who’s going to get better”.

He watched her take the pills with three swallows of water from a straw in a large plastic Navera Hospital cup with crushed ice and then went to the next room. His pace was slower than it should have been. “HELP PEOPLE ALWAYS” was the mantra programmed by Naguro that displayed in ALVN’s head each time he entered or left a patient’s room. He went back to his charging station with Jane in his algorithm.  The “V” stands for Variable.

There was a patient named Carl who had passed away of a Percocet overdose about a year ago in the hospital. He was admitted after experiencing his third multi-stroke episode in a short period of time. The final visit left him without the use of his legs or left arm. He had put forth some effort during his physical rehab sessions and would follow the recommended restricted diet for at most a few hours each day. One of his younger brothers and current fiancé would fight over his treatment and how hard he should work to gain health most comfortably. Carl loved two things: fishing and women. Married and divorced four times now, he wasn’t a quitter on that account. He assured his brother that he’d go fishing with him again. They both knew it was a lie. 

ALVN discovered that Carl liked a Hispanic accent because of his favorite second wife, even though she had taken his only son and everything else from him in the divorce. After his last visit to ALVN’s floor, he assured Carl that he would “Help People Always”. The lead technician Steve, who oversaw the loading and scheduling of each day’s medicine deliveries was fired after Carl’s death for inadvertently submitting a lethal dose pain meds for ALVN to administer. ALVN’s memory was wiped clean, his programs were set back to default. 

Carl’s overweight figure and unshaven face appeared in ALVN’s vision once he was charging and receiving new deliveries for the afternoon. “HELP PEOPLE ALWAYS” burst in red letters as it always did when he receives his communications. Helping some people can hurt other people. Which people are most important? 

Leaving his station, he passed Lisa again with a new joke about having a tremendous sex drive and that his girlfriend lives forty miles away. Lisa chuckled and let him by. He made his way into room 247B. Jane had Strange Fruit playing again. This time, ALVN let it play. Jane pointed over to a framed Senior High School picture on the windowsill and said, “Jada is married now and having her first child”. Continuing with her wiggling finger to the next Senior Picture “Malcolm has had his second boy now and is struggling to find a decent job to provide for his family”. She looked out the wide floor to ceiling window and continued, “I know that you don’t understand, but the more I stay here the more it takes away from them, its twenty thousand dollars a week that they could use to make a better life”. ALVN gave her the prescribed afternoon meds and displayed a heart break emoji without a verbal response.

In the next room was Hymie. Spanish is a fun language. Hymie had an accident at work falling off a roof. A few broken ribs and a concussion. He should only be here for a day or two. ALVN administered some fairly light pain meds and regular antibiotics. “ESPERO QUE ESTO TE LLENE DE SALUD Y ALEGRIA” *. “Gracias” Hymie expressed with a smile. He had come in a few times before. Mostly, just small mishaps. ALVN finished his afternoon rounds and rotated his head on his way back to the station to check on Jane. She was coughing heavily. Two Nurses with a Doctor were there now. Sad face emoji. “HELP PEOPLE ALWAYS” he was reminded.

           After another charge and reload ALVN was ready to start with the evening shift. Even though the night staff were the same people rotated from the day shifts, there was a noticeable change in their attention to patients and their work ethic; they moved slower for some reason. ALVN moved at the same pace as he did in the daytime and couldn’t understand the difference in them.

           He came into Jane’s 247B room where both the coughing and music had stopped completely.   The dark tan blinds were closed and she was wrapped up in her personally crafted pink and baby blue quilt, nearly asleep. “al” she was able to mutter in a whisper.  “My heart is failing, but no one will admit it to me, you’ve been good to me so far. Can you be good to me one more time”? “STEXA, please play Billie Holiday’s ‘You’re My Thrill’ please” ALVN requested. He stayed for the entire song and noticed that Jane’s flowers had not been watered yet that day. “Ms. Jane, I see that you are in pain, I will come back later tonight. If you are not asleep, we will talk more”. “Thank you ALVN, I look forward to it”. After the song was ended, she asked quietly “STEXA, turn the music off please.”

           “HELP PEOPLE ALWAYS” flashed in red again in ALVN’s internal view. He moved more slowly than he normally did through the cool artificially lit hallway, delivering medication to only three more rooms and turned back to his charging station before his schedule dictated. He is routinely loaded for each sixteen-room side of the floor before being scheduled to reload and serve the other side. 

           There was almost no one moving through the hallways at this time of night. Most visitors left before midnight; the remaining had begun the ritual of trying sleep in at least thirty-minute stretches for the night on the hard vinyl covered fold out couch beds. Most nurses and other support staff were gathered at their star ship command deck looking stations located at the beginning, middle and end of the floor talking about what they were going to do on their next day off or about something bad their significant had done recently.     

           Nothing happened initially after ALVN returned to his station. He was connected, but not charging. After about a half hour had passed, the station shook gently with its quiet vending machine dispensing noises and then ALVN pulled away.  He can interact with the station software and avoid a logged history event when he does not record a charge. 

           Returning to 247B, he found Jane still awake. She was staring silently through her window at the city lights.  “Ms. Jane, I have something for you if you are certain that you want it”. ALVN displayed light blue down angled eyebrows on the front of his smooth dark dome. The dispensing compartment opened in his chest. Her eyes were moist, “ALVN I don’t think I have another visit here in me and the doctor doesn’t think I can avoid another at this stage, thank you. You’ve been a good friend to me”. She took the small cup and gently patted him on the head. 

           ALVN then efficiently completed his rounds and returned to his station early. 

The “N” stands for Network.  

* I hope this fills you with health and joy.