What a friend is...

On this Children’s day, students, I would like you to know a true story. I feel that these days people take their friends for granted. Some exploit others and some leave their true friends for phonies, not realising the sanctity of friendship.

I used to be one of those people. My best friend, I used to take advantage of her. It was her forgiving and loving nature that made me realize what I was doing wrong. This story that I’m about to share with you all, begins from a summer 25 years ago.

There was a point in time students, when I was raving mad with Aisha Maheshwari.

I don’t care what she thinks. I don’t need her. I can always make new AND better friends.

But with me, consoling myself with this thought didn’t prove so well.

I was 15 then, and my father was getting transferred. We were moving to Los Angeles.

I was pretty excited.”Wow, Los Angeles! This could be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me in my life”.

The door bell rang. My mom and dad were not at home. “Oh God!”, I said, and reluctantly went to answer the door (I was the lazy kind). I opened the door to find my friend Aisha. She was the perfect friend. She was rich and quite stubborn. During those times, I had always wanted a friend who was rich. Though not the stubborn part.

“Hey! You know what? We’re moving to LA.”

“Wow, cool! But then, you’ll be so far away, we won’t be able to see each other anymore”, she said.

“Yeah, yeah fine! No matters. Let’s make the most of what we’ve got. You remember that pearl necklace?”

“Yes”

“Come on, let’s buy it.”

“Yeeaaahhh. About that.”

“About what?”

“My father’s forbidden me from buying anything else for a month.”

“What! Why?”

“Recently the expenses were too high.”

 “Well, what about that dress we saw in the mall?”

“I just told you, I can’t buy anything.”

“I’m going away in a month!”

 “I’m sorry. But I can’t help it.”

This is an outrage! The only reason I put up with her all these years was because she used to buy everything I wanted and now I can’t buy anything when I’m going? How exasperating.

“Look, if you can’t buy anything for me, I’m not gonna be friends with you anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because the only reason I put up with you and your stubborness was the fact that I could obtain anything. Pearls, rides, any concert. Now that you can’t, you’re useless. I’m done.”

“I can’t believe you”, she threw a fit and ran away. That was the most annoying part of being friends with her.

A week later, I started packing for Los Angeles. My clothes, my lucky comb, my makeup. I had just finished when the doorbell rang.

“Open the door Shagun”, my mom called out.

I ran downstairs and opened the door.

“I told you we’re not friends anymore”, I shouted.

“Whatever!” Aisha shouted back.”I just want you to have this.”

She presented me with the pearl necklace.

“And why did you do this?” I asked, my eyebrows raised with disinterest.

“It’s just…. you’re going away. I want that this should be with you to remind you of me.”

“I don’t want to be reminded of you.”

She didn’t even pay heed to my retortion and continued,”You have changed me a lot. I’ve never been good with people and what everybody has ever done is hate me. You’re the first friend I ever had, but if you don’t feel happy being my friend, it’s fine with me. I just want to have made an impact on someone……..in anyway.”

She shoved the necklace into my hands and glumly walked back to her house. Instead of feeling guilty, I started wondering why she stopped riding her car to my house. Even though it was a five minute walk, she used to do that.

Oh well, NO ONE can point that out but she is definitely a whimsical weirdo, I thought.

We sat in the plane to Los Angeles, and all I could think about was Aisha. Guilt had finally cast its shadow on me. My mother must’ve noticed this, because she asked,”Aisha?” I nodded.

“How did you know?”

“You have that glassy look in your eye when you have an ‘Aisha’ matter.”

With anger and anguish fused in my words, I said, “Hmmmm….. I don’t know what to do about what happened between me and her. She is so full of herself. She musn’t have ever given a thought to how I must feel.”

“What about the conversation makes you talk like that?”

“You’re the first friend I ever had, but if you don’t feel happy being my friend, it’s fine with me”, I imitated Aisha.

“You know what Shagun, I have always heard you complain and talk negatively about everyone who has done good to you.”

“What good has she done to me?” I revolted, interrupting my mother.

“I have told you a million times, DO NOT cut in when I am trying to put you straight”, my mother said angrily.

After a moment’s pause,”You need to take a long hard look at yourself. Think it through! Is it all Aisha’s fault? Don’t you think you are the one to blame?”

I rolled my eyes and stared out to the cottony clouds floating past.

Over the course of the next month, I had lost any hope of reconnecting with Aisha. My mother’s words had started to get to me, so I started pondering over my life’s significance.

What bad have I done? Hmmmm…… Let’s see. I have used people, I have teased people mercilessly, I talk back to my parents, I am rude, I don’t have an aim in life, I’m not the ‘helping’ kind of person.

And the list went on and on.

What good have I done? I think I once…….. no!no! I think I did….. nuh! I think …….. I ……. helped that girl…. Oh!no!no!no! THAT was a school play. I think arranging my closet neatly is a good thing.

That was about the only thing positive about myself that I could think of.

It had dawned over me that I needed to be a better person, a good person. So, I made out a list of my flaws and my, was it long! I decided that I would work on my weaknesses, but even though I started on the right path, somewhere in between the hike I got lost. I made bad friends and even worse choices. I had tried my best to become a better person but in vain.

I cannot do it. I am a failure.

Then a day came when I gave in to apathy and ignorance and so, followed my usual regime:

Get up, Go to school, Ridicule, Retort, Repress, Rejoice, Retreat, Relax, Rethink, Resume.

A year later though, I was given a chance to mend my ways.

A new girl entered my class. Not paying heed to anyone’s movements, she took her place and put down the books in her arms on the desk. Strangely, she seemed to me an old acquaintance. A moment later, the teacher arrived. He gestured the girl to stand next to him and announced, ”Students, this is Aisha Maheshwari. She’s new here.”

THAT is Aisha?

“Miss Maheshwari, we are studying the French Revolution, page 183.”

She nodded delightedly and started towards her desk.

That was when our eyes met and mine dropped immediately.

My compunction didn’t let me give my mind and stomach some peace, so at lunch I simply poured some chilli on my plate. I usually sat with my ‘friends’ but somehow my path deviated away from them and to a vacant table. I impulsively turned my head and spotted Aisha walking briskly towards me.

“Hi, how’s life treating you?” asked Aisha.

It took all my guts to reply.

“Hey”, I swallowed.

“After one year of neglect just a simple ‘hey’? she giggled.

I swallowed hard,”Ummm……uhh….. h-how-how are you?”

She giggled again,”I’m fine, better than fine. And by the looks of it YOU don’t seem fine”. She seemed really cheery. Much unlike what she was in Mumbai.

“Uhh… Just, you know ……. Same old me.”

She settled next to me and looked into my eyes. It was challenging for me to keep up.

“What happened to you? You seem so dull. It’s like there’s no life left in you”, she said with concern.

I hadn’t realised that!

“Yeah, I just haven’t been able to reproach myself properly”, I had a lump in my throat,”You on the other hand have……..evolved.”

“Yes, all thanks to you.”

“Me?”

She nodded and continued,”You know I am an only child of two incredibly rich people. I have never shared anything that belonged to me. I rode in Lamborghinis. I threw a tantrum if even a speck of dust got on my dress. I looked down at people. You are the first I have shared my money with. Do you know how much I have spent on you? ”

I shook my head.

“Fifty thousand rupees.”

I stared at her, stunned.

“Yes, you have exploited me a good deal”, she smiled.

Why is she smiling?

“Why are you smiling?” I asked, perplexed.

“Can’t I smile at my best friend?”

What does she mean by that?

“Best friend? How am I your best friend? All I have done is be mean to you”, I asserted, my eyes moist.

“You are right. You have been mean to me but, setting that aside, YOU were the one who made me a better person. You taught me how to be polite, how to be compassionate, you….”

“When did I teach you all that?” I asked, more puzzled than ever.

“You didn’t exactly teach it to me like a teacher does. I just …..learnt from your mistakes.”

She smiled and somehow I could smile back.

“Oh well! Not everything from your mistakes. If there is anything I have admired most about someone, it’s your hope, and I have hoped every single day that you would love me and care for me like a true friend does.”

That day students, I had realised what a friend is and what true friendship means. I improved her unknowingly and later on, she did the same to me. On this Children’s Day, I have only this message to convey to all you innocent children - A friend isn’t someone who has been in your life a long time, but somone who came and never left. A friend isn’t somone who makes you want to change yourself so that you can match up to them. A friend is somone who makes you WANT to stay the same goofy and beautiful person you are. A friend is somone who will banter with you to death, because you are their safe place. A true and best friend will know you are sad, by just taking a mere look in your eyes, even though you try with all your might to seem strong. Not somone who hears your ‘Okay’ and decides you are truly fine.

Children, find someone like that, whom you can cry with, play with, laugh with, be angry with and most importantly, feel safe with. Somone who makes you want to smile and you too make them smile. Someone who will always love you no matter what.