The Coffee

Trigger Warning: Loss, Grief, Postpartum Depression, Drunk Driving, Death

He wipes the counter with his worn dishrag. The atmosphere for his small coffee shop is slow today, giving him time to think. A smile is what he presents, but the turmoil in his mind isn't giving way. What he could do with more money or time, he thinks as he keeps wiping away. If only his boy had more time. He finds himself clutching the rag in anger, balling it in his wrinkled hand, hurting himself a bit.

 His thoughts are interrupted by a clatter by the door as a woman with a stroller is trying to get in and his gentlemanly manners come into play. He quickly helps and notices the sadness and fatigue in the young lady's eyes. 

She's a classic beauty with blonde hair, blue eyes, and heart shaped lips even with her expression reading overwhelmed. She thanks him with a smile as the screeching sound of her baby starts. Tears roll down her eyes and his, if he's honest with himself, and he ushers her in to order.

"How are you today?" He asks with a faux smile even as his eyes are puffy from his moment of crying.

Her eyes fill with tears again and he changes his tact to:

"What can I get for you?"

"Black coffee, please," she responds as she pulls out crumpled bills to pay.

He waves her off, "It's free."

She wants to argue, but with his hand resting on hers, she doesn't.

"I remember the early days," he nods towards her baby who has miraculously stopped crying.

"You have a kid?"

He nods, "Had, my boy passed a few months, a drunk driver hit him."

She looks at him with utter sympathy and takes his hand in hers tightly.

"She's my third pregnancy, first baby. It's hard, but I love her. It's just me with my husband's death. I needed this." He hands her the coffee and she clutches it like it is the cure.

Her face lights up with the first drink and the smile accompanying it makes his day.

"I'll pay next time."

He smiles back and for the first time in a year, he remembers the early days and the life his son lived.

She finally sits down and coos to the baby then beckons him to the table with her hand. He looks around the coffee shop and noting no one else is there, he takes a seat with her. 

The baby looks at him, she’s a beautiful little girl with bright blues just like her mother. She smiles and his heart responds with a thump, his son had the same smile for anyone who loved babies. He smiles back with a crinkle in his face. He can see her future like he did with own son (if only he knew what he does now about how fast thirty years can go), he sees her with a good looking husband and a beautiful baby, not unlike her, in her arms. The young woman in front of him transforms into an older woman, the same age as him now. Her wrinkled face still holds a lot of her beauty, only showing wisdom. Though if he were to ask anyone, her especially, he could see her saying she was wise enough with two miscarriages and being a widow. 

“What’s your name, cutie?” He asks the baby with side eye at her mother. 

“Piper,” the young woman replies as she takes another sip of her coffee, “Thank you again, Mr…?”

“Fox. Lonnie Fox, Ms…?”

“Mrs.Tyler. Annie Tyler.”

A nagging feeling comes over him and he knows the anger is bubbling under the surface. 

“Tyler… Was your husband’s name Jack Tyler?” He asks through clenched teeth. 

The young woman looks baffled but seems to recognize his tone and the pain behind his eyes. 

She nods, looking at Piper now, wondering if she should run, “I’m sorry, Lonnie. I’ve walked by here so many times just to tell you that, but I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth even with your generous gesture.” 

Annie’s eyes are puffy, and she is now sobbing. She releases her tight grip on the coffee, and it goes into her hands like she can no longer hold it up.

“How dare you come into my shop? You know my boy helped me set this place up twenty years ago?!” His voice is above the proper volume, and he doesn’t care. How dare this lady come into his place and make him feel sorry for her when her husband got behind the wheel drunk and didn’t care what happened next. 

“You said you’re a widow. Your awful husband died then?” 

Her shocked expression made him turn away from her. 

“Yes, he passed away a couple of days ago, he was sick for a while before he hurt your son. I’m sorry, Lonnie. I wished I could do so much back then to stop him from drinking and getting behind the wheel. He thought he was okay, but he wasn’t. I wish I hadn’t told him to go and die, but she was screaming, and he was screaming and I just…” Annie trailed off with regret in her eyes. 

“I’ll never forgive him,” Lonnie said. 

“Neither will I. I will never forgive him for what he did to you and to us. He abandoned us for a bottle, and it cost so much.”

Lonnie sits back down, and he sobs along with Annie, the skies outside opening up with tears of their own. They look out at the pouring rain and share a laugh. 

“We don’t have to forgive him,” Annie says,” but we need to forgive ourselves. I know you hold yourself responsible, you wanted to protect him no matter what, but you couldn’t have protected him from this, Lonnie.”

Lonnie nodded; she made a good point. He smiled at her and Piper, a family that had to be on their own due to someone else’s choices. 

Another woman came into the shop with her face in her cell phone, oblivious to the atmosphere of the shop. 

“Hey, Annie?” Lonnie said as he saw Annie gathering everything and Piper to head out. 

“Yeah,” she turned to him. 

“Come back again, ok?”

Annie’s smile gave her answer as she walked out with Piper starting to cry again.