Rear-View mirror

My dad left when i was only 3. He and my mother had been in a troubled sitution for quite a while. Plus the booze. One morning, the argument was so bad, he left out of the door. He just couldn't admit he had a problem.

Since then, we've struggled to stand and reconstruct life. We've managed to find a small one-bedroom apartment, in another town. Pretty nice, actually.

My mom found a new job, i kept studying and getting great grades. Eventually, my mom met someone else. Samuel.

Samuel always treat me like his own, which i'm thankfull for. Samuel and my mother ended up marrying, years later. They've been together for 10 years. We are happy again.

I graduated , i got the job i wanted, have friends and formidable colleagues. Seemed like life is back on track. Until...

It was a Monday afternoon. I just heading out of the supermarket,after a few groceries. I spotted, by the moment i left the door, a man, in the corner of my eye. No big deal, maybe someone heading to the market themselves.

That was my thought until something stopped me on my tracks. This voice. This voice was just...so familiar to me. I gasp.

In a quick turnaround, i now face him. He's here. What is going on?

It was my Father, Daniel.

-"Angela. It's me. Dad." said him, stretching his arms to a hugging position.

At this moment, only one thought crossed my mind: “ How did He found me?”

-" What do you want from me? I don't know you, i'm sorry.”. Said i in an attempt to run away.

Now, I'm walking fast towards my car, in the parking lot. I sense him following me. I get in the car, throw the little bag on the next seat, and shut the door. He arrives. He starts knocking on the window.

-” Please. I just want to talk. I miss you.”

• - “ Please. Just leave.”

I get the keys on the ignition, and start the car. I leave. I can seem him on the rear-view mirror. He looks sad and desperate.

As i arrive home, Mom greets me on the hall. She was just walking towards the room.

• - “ So. how was your day?”
• - “You are not going to believe who i just met.”

There's silence. I see her expression changes.

- “What happen, darling?”

• - “ He's here. He's back.”

My mom looks confused.

- “Who's back?'”

• - “ Daniel...”

At this point, my mom is just frozen.

• - “ How did he found you?”, she asks freightned.
• Eventually Samuel got home, while we were talking about it, in the kitchen. He obviously saw our concern.
• - “ What's going on? You both seem stressed...”
• We just looked at him. Eventually ,i answered.
• - “ It's...just...Daniel just showed up....”
• The rest of the day, was just about Daniel. The questions just kept arising. How did he found us? What did he want? Why now? Why here?
• 2 days later, we just got home from work. Mom was sitting in the living room, reading. I was having a snack, when a knock erupts the house. From the front door.
• Now. I usually don't get worried when this happen, but this time something seems off. That and the fact that He is in town. Me and my mother just walk to the hall, at the same time. We stop by the door. I'm not really fearfull, so i open it.
• It's Him. Daniel. Again.

The 3 of us are just staring at each other, when a trembled voice just erupts the moment.

• - “ Louise...”

My mom looks shocked.

• - “ Please just leave.” . I just wanted my peace back, anyway.
• - “Just give me a few minutes to explain myself. I'm terrible sorry”.
• I shut the door on his face. He keeps ringing the bell. I storm!
• - “ Leave us alone!”. Now, i'm just on the verge of tears. I don't want my mother to live this nightmare, once more. So i hug her, and say that it's all just a bad dream...until the bell interrupts me.

My Mom slowly separates from me, and is once more heading towards the door. What is she doing?

She opens the door. Now they're face to face.

• - “ Louise. Please. I swear i just need a minute with you”- says Daniel. My mom just fights it back.
• - “ I don't think this is a good moment to have a chat.”
• - “ Let me explain.”
• My mother is starting to get angry.
• - “ Explain What?! How you treated us like crap, and just walked away? Ho dare you to show up now?”
• - “ It was all just a misunderstandment. I still love you both...”
• I just couldn't do anything anymore. As i'm immovable on the hall, next to my mother, i see Samuel's car pulling over. His home from work, of course. Maybe he can rescue us from this nightmare. As my mom and Daniel are in a heated argument, he gets by the door and asks if everything is alright, which, clearly...
• - “ May i Help you sir?” asks Samuel.
• - “ Who are you?”. Daniel seems confused.
• - “ I'm Louise's husband, and this is my house too, so...How may i Help you? Honey, is there a problem?”
• - “ No. This gentleman just got the wrong door. He was just leaving.” said my mom.
• Daniel is white. He just achieved that level, where he realizes all is lost. But, as always, he's stubborn.
• - “ Well. I was just trying to talk to Louise...” says Daniel now facing Samuel. He then turns to Mom and me.
• - “ Please, give me a shot on explaining this mess.”
• - “ I'm sorry. I don't know you...” says my Mom, trying to defend us.
• - “ Sir. If you don't mind, please just leave our house, or i'll call the police.” Samuel intervenes. He's now at hte door frame. Both me and my mother, stand behind him.
• We can see, by Samuel's left side, Daniel, always peaking, in despair, like a falling men, seeking a rope to grab, in a desperate way to save himself. We both know, it's too damn late.
• Samuel shut the door. Our door it's one of those with a glass on it, but a one we can't see through. Through the glass we see Daniel just standing for a while, until he walks away, and slowly starts to dissolve.

Days go by. There isn't a sign of him, which is good. But, suddenly, during the rest of the weeks, there was this...feeling inside of me. I wanted both: To get him as far as he could get, but i wanted, by myself , to solve this mess. I can't deny it. There was a weight, a terrible one, i wanted to get rid of , all my life.

One afternoon, i was just driving around. I just dropped Cassandra, a work colleague of mine, at her house.

So. I was driving around, just checking the town, as i drive by, when i see him. Walking down the sidewalk, by himself. I can't see his face, since i'm driving in the same direction.

As i keep driving, i look at the rear-view mirror, and have the confirmation: It's him. My biological father, defeated by remorse.

I keep driving forward, when this electrical surge hits me like a TIR truck. I'm sure of this feeling. I want to know more. I want to solve this mess.

So. I stopped the car, and patiently wait him to walk by my car. As i goes by, i open the window and shout to him.

• - “ HEY!”

He stops and he can't believe what he sees.

• - “ Get in, please.” I ask him,

So he does. Eventually ,we stopped at a Coffeeshop ahead. That was my moment. My chance to clear all this nightmare. My chance to fly free.

This coffeeshop is one of my favourtie places in town. Cosy, confortable, with great hits of jazz just floating on the air, from the speakers, on the top corners. It's not busy right now, so it seemed like a good option. We sit in the back, on the lounge benches.

- “ I just wanted to talk. That's all. I don't mean to interrumpt your life in anyway.”

• I listen to him, while looking to the road outside. I finally gathered the courage to speak.
• - “ Why now? Where have you been all this years? You didn't even left a message. Didn't even called once...” said i desperately.
• - “ All these years, i've been struggling with my inner demons. Let's just say i battle, and i battled toughly...”.
• He seemed sad. I could clearly see the regret, the struggle pouring out of his eyes. He continues.
• - “ Just give me a minute. I'll promise it'll be fast.”
• - “ You have time. I want to know what happen and what made you do it, leaving us both behind...”
• It's happening. Finally, after 16 years of fear, doubt and pain, i get the chance i deserved. The opportunity to set my soul free from the grudges and all the scars.
• He carefully explains it. The struggle with alcohol addiction consumed his life. He reminds me of a few good memories we had, while he lived with us. He then explains why he left, and why he run out of the town. He's explanation seems honest, and painfull. He did it, so he could save us. So he could save us from his demons.
• - “ I didn't want to see your mother suffering anymore. I know that damage i've caused and the pain i brought to your life. Also, i'm aware that just dissapearing for 16 years, may not be a reasonable thing to do...”.
• We stare at each other. His eyes turn from stone and darkness, to a kindness only i now find he had in his heart.
• - “ I'm proud of you, sweetheart. And i'm terrible sorry...for everything.”

We eventually leave the coffeeshop. Part of me feels like it was good. And with that, i felt somethign bad just leave my soul, for a brief second. A weight and a lot of grief.

On the other hand, i was never going to forget it. After all, it was a life without his support and existence.

• - “ Please, Angela. Send your mom my honest regards from me”, he asks heart-warmly.
• - “ I will.” i replied politely.
• At this very second, i hear footsteps behind me. Somehow, those footsteps just got stronger and faster, out of the dark. Shock. My blood goes cold, as i feel a blade touching my throat.
• - “ SHUT UP! Give me all you've got!” this men screams at my ears.
• He then points the knife towards Daniel, and shouts:
• - “ You too, oldmen. NOW!”.
• Daniel face is white as snow. He then proceeds to take his wallet of his jacket pocket. He is shaking. I'm shaking. I'm crying tears of fear, and desperation. Daniel proceeds and delivers this maniac all the money he gots. He slowly grabs it, takes it to his pocket, and slowly takes the knife of my neck, walking back carefully. And then, he starts running.
• Daniel doesn't take this defeat, so he approaches me and asks if i'm alright. He then storms out , and runs after this burglar. As is see him after him, i shout for him to comeback and stop.
• - “ NO! Please just stop!”

Daniel reaches the guy, grabs him by the neck and throws him onto the floor.

• - “ Nobody touches my daughter, you filthy animal!!!!”.
• In this moment, from far, i see the blade shining, with the reflection of the street lights.
• - “DAD!”.
• All i could see in the dark, was Daniel falling into the floor, with his hand near his stomach. The burglar, with a bleeding face, runs away. Daniel falls. He's badly wounded.
• 
  
• The ambulance got the place,a s fast as they could, since it's a small town. My mom and Samuel arrive at the place, since i've called. There's dozens of people watching the paramedics putting Daniel into the strecher and taking him to the hospital. We, obviously at my request, follow them.

I get to the floor he's at. It has been a few hours since we got in the Hospital. Daniel got an urgency surgery. The doctor said he was just lucky it didn't perfurated the stomach or any other vital organs. I felt relief!

I enter the room. He's awake. He looks at the door as soon as i walk in.

• - “ You feeling alright, Angela?”
• - “ Yes. I'm fine ,just worried about you,”
• - “ Don't worry. I'll recover. It's just a scratch.”
• In that moment, i realized that it was time. My time of giving him a second chance. The chance he seeked all this years.
• - “ I'll forever be thankfull for saving me”
• - “ I didn't do much. I'm a father. It should be my job to protect you.”
• We held hands for a brief moment, and i know that, after looking from the rear-view mirror, it was all gonna be fine, for me. Finally, my soul was free. I healed.
•