Only One to Talk To

Sarah had no one to talk to beside Uncle Robert.

She came home after experiencing the usual in school. Two new students had seen the potential in her and poked at it when they saw her during lunchtime. The girls asked about her home life, and when she didn’t reply, they came up with their own conclusions.

Frustratingly, they guessed right every time. It was like they knew where she lived and what her relationships were like. Today, they brought up her mother, and asked how much alcohol she had consumed since yesterday.

That question fueled her anger. It distracted her so much that she didn’t notice how hard she smacked the door shut before she did. She noticed it especially after her mother called from the kitchen:

‘’Do you mind?!’’

‘’Sorry!’’ Sarah replied. It came out harsher than she expected, but anything that could sooth out today’s frustrations would help.

Unfortunately, that meant Uncle Robert was in the forefront of her yell. He stood like he had been waiting for her to come home for thirty minutes. He blinked twice in a surprising way.

‘’Bad day at school?’’

‘’Same as usual.’’

‘’Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. There’s some coffee in the living room for yah.’’

Hearing that second sentence made Sarah smile. Robert had somehow made the issue light—like a moment she could easily forget.

When she had taken off her jacket and put her bag in her room, Robert had already seated at the table with his own mug. Sarah was thirteen and had drunk coffee since she was eleven. She could only drink small teacups, as the dark and bitter drink gave her taste buds a run for their money. Now, a mug would be the minimum standard.

The coffee had cooled down, and she took her first sip. It tasted like home if she had it all for herself. There was nothing like a warm mug while sitting in front of the computer watching movies, tv-shows, or read e-books.

‘’Good?’’ Robert asked, smiling.

‘’Excellent.’’ Sarah replied.

She only used that word when she was in the best of moods with her mind free of drama and issues. That lasted until her mother stomped into the room and sat by the table. She wore a stained, cropped t-shirt with a pair of panties she likely had fished out from the laundry basket. Alcohol leaked from her breath, and seemingly, the same counted for her clothes.

‘’Why did you slam the door that way?’’ she asked.

Sarah was back to when she stood by the entrance. She almost considered throwing her coffee away.

‘’Guess…’’ she said under her breath.

‘’What?’’

‘’GUESS!’’ It exploded from her.

Her mother smacked the table, at which point the coffee sprang from Sarah’s cup and splashed on her hands.

‘’You talk that way to me again, and you’re grounded for a MONTH!’’

‘’You think I give a fuck?!’’

‘’Language, young lady!’’

‘’Oh, don’t like the taste of your own medicine?!’’

‘’You’re my child! And I forbid you to swear again in my house! Understand?!’’

‘’Why does that matter? You never listen to me, so why should I listen to you?!’’

‘’What do you mean I’m not listening?!’’

‘’It’s just like when I’m constantly telling how much those girls bully me, and you don’t do shit about it!’’

‘’Ignore them, child! Why is that so hard?!’’

‘’Yeah, because that has helped me out so much! Even the principal is shocked that I’m all alone in this!’’

Her mother threw herself to her feet. ‘’ENOUGH!’’ Her hand mashed the table. ‘’Thanks so much for making my day the worst ever. Go to your room!’’

Sarah pushed her cup and spilled the rest of the coffee on her side.

‘’Sorry for being who I am! All thanks to the alcoholic bitch who gave birth to me in the first place!’’

‘’OUT!’’

Tears brawled from Sarah’s eyes before she entered her room. Smashing the door like when she came home, she thrust to her bed, burying her face in a pillow. The day had gotten better, far more than she realized. And then, her mother crushed it without remorse, like Sarah’s feelings were blasphemy.

‘’Why does she always do this… why does she always do this… why… w-w-wh-y?’’

All this stemmed back to her parents’ divorce. Sure, it took its toll on her mother. But she had to realize she wasn’t alone, and it was Sarah’s father who packed his things and vanished. She could’ve at any time shared her feelings with her daughter, so they both could recover.

But no, she decided to lash out, and here they were.

A hand pressed on Sarah’s shoulder, a warm touch. Uncle Robert had entered without sound. Sarah pushed herself up to embrace him, crying in his shoulder.

‘’Why does she do this?’’

‘’She’s been an emotional one since childhood.’’ Robert replied.

‘’That doesn’t excuse her for treating her own daughter, who’s hurting too, like some doll she can tear apart when she wishes…!’’

‘’Divorces are tough, and it’s always the children that pay the price. They are forced to make impossible choices, which always hurts the ones they love.’’

‘’Why couldn’t I have gone with my father…? Why did he just… l-leave?’’

‘’We can never know for sure. He must’ve had his reasons. But I know this…’’

Sarah looked at her uncle from his shoulder.

‘’It hurt him to leave, likely more than he initially thought.’’

‘’What about us? What about the pain he brought on us?’’

‘’I’m sure he was aware of that. He made his choice but still had you in mind. But hey. Maybe one day you’ll see each other again, and you will hear it from him. I’ll bet he would like that.’’

Sarah sniffed as her tears dried up.

‘’And what if he wanted to be free from me?’’

Robert grinned.

‘’You think that? Why would anyone want to be free from you, at least those with a… sound mind?’’

Sarah laughed and sniffed one last time. Aside from the two girls, only her mother wanted peace from her. It was the wrong side of the world that had a problem with Sarah, not the other way around. She reacted like anyone with a sound mind would do to bullying and abuse.

Robert let go and picked up his niece’s duvet.

‘’I guess I could use some shut-eye.’’ Sarah said.

She took the duvet and rested on her pillow. The cover had sucked the tears away, so it was nice and comfortable to rest her cheeks on.

Her uncle rose.

‘’See you around, Sarah.’’

‘’See you.’’ she replied.

Within minutes, she was light as a feather that floated in the wind. There were glints of light in one moment, until a sudden darkness swallowed them. A laughter sounded from the void. No, there were two. One belonged to a little girl and the second to an adult man. The girl caught her breath once or twice, like she was running. The man did the same.

They played catch, and they seemed familiar. The man giggled like the girl outsmarted him in a way that impressed him. That was when Sarah knew. It was Robert’s voice. He played with her on the day she never forgot. It was two days after her father left.

Her mother had lost her mind, and Sarah tried to distract herself with anything she could find. Robert arrived, and his presence brought her a smile like the one when they drank coffee together.

Robert had to leave in between their games, and as time passed, his absence became impossible to ignore. He never returned again. The laughter snapped away, as Sarah’s mother called her.

‘’Get up! School’s in half an hour!’’

She opened her eyes. A duvet was on her, and her pillow was curled and pushed aside. Red-orange beams streamed through her curtains, drawing a pattern on her door. What happened to the laughter? She was light as snowflakes a second ago; now, she was heavy as a treadmill.

Rising from her bed, she rubbed her eyes and stared mindlessly at her feet. It was Thursday, which meant school was still open. It also meant that the girls had time to conjure new questions to humiliate her.

To hell with this…

But, Robert was here. Sarah could talk with him about the girls before she left. He would know what to do with them. An energy surged in her body, and she thundered out the door, carrying a big smile. A scent of coffee sneaked teasingly into her nose. Robert was likely drinking his second mug by now.

When Sarah got to the table, her mother sat with remarkable morning hair. She was alone.

‘’Where is he?’’ Sarah asked.

‘’Where’s who?’’ her mother replied.

‘’You know who I mean.’’

‘’No, I don’t, Sarah. And good morning to you too.’’

‘’Where is Robert?!’’

Her mother faced her with widened eyes.

‘’Robert?’’

‘’Yes! Robert! Where is he?’’

Their conversation went silent for a bit, before her mother asked:

‘’Are you serious…?’’

‘’WHERE IS HE?!’’

‘’HE’S DEAD, SARAH!’’

A huge weight landed in her stomach.

‘’…what?’’

‘’Robert died four years ago from cancer, almost the same time as your father left with his new, darling wife.’’

‘’But… he was here last night…’’

‘’You slept through the whole day. The school called several times about your absence, until I had to tell them you were sick. Yeah… sick due to laziness.’’

‘’I came home and talked with him at the entrance.’’

‘’When you were talking to yourself? That was two weekends ago, Sarah. You must’ve been dreaming about it for whatever reason.’’

‘’But I…’’

‘’Listen, school starts in twenty minutes, and I don’t want another call because you think you’re above learning. Your bag’s there.’’ She pointed to the chair Robert sat on.

It made no sense. Sarah had just woken from a dream. Her uncle was here, and he was fine. Then again, Sarah’s mother paid no attention to him. But she had never fought him on anything. Despite her childhood troubles, they were siblings that stuck together long after they entered adulthood.

If Sarah’s dream was a memory from a recent weekend, how did Robert get into the picture? And what was that dream with the laughs? Her brain fiddled itself. Was it trying to break her down, by manipulating her with memories that Robert wasn’t in? Or was it trying to place Robert in situations that Sarah wished he was in?

The thoughts intruded her all the way to the school. Her tears fell on countless pavements; a few pedestrians heard her whimpers, and the two girls stood by the lamppost closest to the school.

As their first question, they asked about Robert.