Wedding pictures…
She had always loved to look at wedding pictures.
Time and again, she would hurriedly finish all those household chores and sit dreaming over her mistress’s pictures. She had been with this family for so long now. She loved them all: they were so kind to her, unlike everyone else. She never really understood why it was that every time she opened the door, walked out into the street, did the shopping, smiled at anyone, they would turn away with that awful look on their faces. Each time she returned so puzzled, asking her young mistress for reasons. But her kind mistress would just smile at her and say,” look at those wedding pictures.”
Now it was time to go back to her small village, her mother’s eyesight was failing and her brother was getting married. They were taking her back the next day, she didn’t want to go! Well, at least they said she could keep all the wedding pictures!
Life in the village. She had tried finding something to do, to pass the time, but people would only stare at her then laughingly turn her away. She often stood gazing at her reflection in the mirror. What was wrong with her? But whoever stared back at her from that mirror only smiled innocently. She was always on her own. She only had her long walks and her secret talks with the birds and the flowers.
Now she was off again. Hugging her pictures close to her heart, she went on walking until she reached that faraway bridge at the other end of the village. She clambered onto the hills then roamed over the meadows, and finally settled under the willow tree by that stagnant and muddy canal. There, taking the pictures out one by one, she would start spreading them out on the dewy grass taking meticulous care not to change the order nor bend the edges.
Then she would longingly gaze a that beautiful dress with all those frills, with that studded shiny necklace, those glittering ear-rings, those elegant lace gloves, all those beads decorating that majestic crown. Oh, brides! They were so gorgeous. Then she would feel so sad: why couldn’t she have her own wedding dress? She has always thought her cousin looked so handsome, he would certainly look charming in a wedding suit!
So, after returning to the village, she went over to ask him. But he only sent her away with his wedding pictures! Oh, why couldn’t she have her own wedding dress? Whenever she asked her mother, she would smile at her and say, “look at those wedding pictures.”
Tonight, she was feeling strange. She looked up into the sky. The stars were her only friends now. For no matter how long she stared at them, they would go on shining back at her. She reached out for the nearby flowers, but quickly withdrew her hand for it was greeted by those awful thorns. She heard the distant barking of that dumb street-dog with the spotted back and the missing tail. It was so ugly and dirty! Every time it tried coming near anyone, they would quickly shoo it away. She always wondered why it was always trying to come close to her. She didn’t mind though, he has a right to live too. Maybe he was lonely, maybe he liked her and wanted to be her friend. She never shooed it away! Oh, the back of her leg was really aching. Why were the little boys always throwing stones at her?
Suddenly, she remembered why she was feeling strange. Tonight she saw him following her again. That terrible, terrible creature. That deformed and ugly creature with the hunched back, the limping gait and the deep scar across his face. No one could look at him. So he only came out at night. She had tried smiling to him before so he wouldn’t feel so lonely but he stared angrily back at her, since then she felt so scared every time she saw him. He would always be right there behind her and only disappear as she approached the fruit-stall at the outskirts of the village. She was used to his presence. But tonight she thought she glimpsed this wild look in his eyes. And it made her tremble!
It was time to go back now. Her mother had always reproached her for staying out late. So, gathering the pictures in her arms, she got up to go. But he was there somewhere behind her. She did not have to look, she felt his presence so strongly. She decided to hurry on anyway. Maybe if she changed her route, and went back along those narrow alleyways she would be able to lose him.
She tried to run but her knees kept shaking so violently and her legs felt like leaden columns. Her heart kept thudding away against her chest, she could hear it roaring in her ears, felt it thumping in her temples. Her eyes were gazing so wildly yet she failed to see a thing. And all the time he was right there behind her! She heard his heavy breathing, felt it enclosing her; heard the echoing sound of the iron shoe on his shorter leg.
Suddenly, he grabbed the back of her dress causing her to momentarily lose her balance. She opened her mouth to scream but his huge hand came down like a trap door against it. Now he was pushing her on the ground and easing himself on top of her. She tried biting his hand but he kept it there firmly anchored across her mouth. She tried to fight back but realized she was helpless against his weight. So, hugging the wedding pictures close to her heart, she simply resigned herself to him.
The sun shone on the little village. A crowd stood in the open fields next to the muddy canal with the stagnant waters and the croaking toads competing for the dry, brown leaves floating in it. The crowd was in a state of riot! For right in front of them lay that retarded, deformed creature amidst a pool of blood, surrounded by a multitude of pictures...
written by
Hanan Nafeh
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7 comments
I like the story. It shows the darkness of human nature and how we judge people. It was very interesting :)
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Thanks
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"The stars were her only friends now. For no matter how long she stared at them, they would go on shining back at her." Hanan, what a tragic and heartbreaking tale. I love how you gave so much depth to your main character, a person hardly anyone else could really see or understand. Her yearning for more is so relatable and moving. This an important story, and you should absolutely keep it up!
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The story line sounds almost like a Beauty and the Beast type thing. Your presentation of the story needs work, it does not flow smoothly. There is one sentence that is not only choppy but it doesn't make sense.... "she clambered onto the hills...into maybe but not onto.
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You know, critique is helpful, but you're supposed to talk about something they did well also not throw the whole story in the dirt....
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did you read the story?
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Yes I did. I am aware that there could be some improvement, but every writer could improve. I'm saying you didn't give them anything good about the story. It's scientifically proven that when you yell at someone the thinking part of their brain shuts down, therefore without giving them any good points, they will never learn. Also, it was a good story so :p
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