The Professor’s Secret

Morning seeped through the window and swirled about the room. Thin white curtains did little to stop it. Bits of dust sparkled in the air as Professor Miles Clark sat with a stack of papers and red pen, reading and grading. 

The squeaking sound of sneakers jarred the Professor from his concentration and he turned to look toward the door, glasses slipping an inch down his nose. 

“Ah, Julia! Turning in your work I see! It’s about time, young lady! You really do like to press a deadline, don’t you!” Professor Clark said with a smile. 

“Haven’t missed a deadline yet, have I?” she replied, passing over her papers. 

“No, not a single one! I suppose some of us work best under pressure.” 

“Is that how you worked when you were in school?” she queried the aging Professor. 

“Oh, not me, not me…I’d say I was more methodical. More patient in getting done what had to be done,” he said, as that familiar dreamy look crossed his face which meant he was wandering way back in his memories. 

Taking a seat in a nearby chair, she waited for the story that was undoubtedly to come. 

She enjoyed the Professor’s stories, and didn’t mind sitting for a listen, despite how busy she knew her morning was. 

Professor Clark set down his pen. 

“These can wait a moment while I tell you about something, something I’ve not told anyone.” Professor Clark whispered as he leaned in closer.

“Oh? Something that happened while you were in school?” she leaned as well. 

“Yes, a long time ago. But it feels like yesterday. Isn’t that how memories sometimes are?” he said. 

“Quite so, Professor.” she nodded. 

“Back when I was in school, things got to be very competitive. In my final year of classes, last semester, I was determined to come out on top. Top of my class, top of my friends, top of the world in my book. I wanted to show everyone who ever doubted me what I was capable of. And in doing so, I learned just what I was capable of to get there,” he said as he turned his eyes to the window. A shadow seemed to pass across his face. 

Professor Clark’s stories were typically about trips he’d taken, books he’d read, or harmless anecdotes. What was he getting at today? 

“I never meant to hurt him. It just…happened that way. He was the only student my equal, had been for years. I knew he was the only one standing in my way of being first in my class. First! I had dreamed of being first in my class since the day I started school! I wouldn’t let Robert have it. It was mine, you see. I worked and earned it. Robert didn’t have to work towards anything. Life was handed to him on a platter, and I was so tired of it. While I spent weekends in the library studying for exams, Robert spent his with his friends. Parties and drinking and drugs, you name it. How did I know? Robert was my roommate. A random pairing by the school, and we became ‘friends’. You know what they say Julia, keep your friends close…”

“And your enemies closer?” she finished.

“Exactly. I remained his roommate year after year. Endured, more like. He was intolerable at best. So messy, so loud, so inconsiderate. How was he getting top grades? I knew something wasn’t right. I waited. I watched. And I finally got it out of him one night, as he wandered in drunk and blabbering. I asked him just how it was he could party all the time, never study, yet still ace everything. His brain was swimming in booze as he told me how his father made sure he always got the best of everything. Money talks, and the school listened, he had said laughing, then passed out in his bed.”

“So, his father was paying off the school to get him top grades in everything? That’s just awful, Professor Clark! What did you do once you found out?” she asked. 

“Well, I needed to be smart about it. I needed a way to expose him, his father, and the school in such a way as to make them all come clean about it. But my time was limited. It was almost graduation at that point, and I had to act fast. I needed a foolproof plan. And I had one,” Professor Clark said and paused. He folded his hands, and looked down at the years gathered in wrinkled hills and valleys across his skin. And then he continued. 

“I set him up. I left a note on our door for him to find, telling him to meet at midnight in the alley off Birch Street. The note said ‘I know your secret’. Of course he would come, and I had planned to confront him there. I had clothing all in black, even a ski mask and hat. He’d never recognize me, and I’d tell him to come clean about the whole thing or I’d go to the Dean myself. Did I actually plan to do so? I’m not sure. And I never got to find out if I would have gone. Things…went south,” he said, his voice trailing off at the end. 

“What happened that night?” she asked, her heart racing to know what Professor Clark did to Robert all those years ago. 

“I was waiting in the shadows. I had my back pressed to a door in a darkened back entrance to an apartment building. The alley in June stunk with trash as cans lined the small street. I was early. I didn’t want Robert to see me coming, so I could surprise him. I saw him coming, right on time. Which was unusual for him, since he was always late to everything. As I watched him make his way down the alley in the dark, a saw a larger dark figure approaching behind him. I nearly shouted for Robert to turn around, to watch out, but it was over before I could even utter a sound. The dark figure swiftly approached, and Robert never saw him coming. He went down to the ground with little more than a gasp. The dark figure went through his pockets, took his wallet, and took off into the night. I stood frozen. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I ran to Robert’s body, checked for a pulse, and found none. He was gone. And it was because of me. In a panic, I ran as fast as I could back to my dorm room. I took off my hat and ski mask as I ran, and once in my room, changed out of the rest. It wasn’t at all what I had planned. It wasn’t at all what I had wanted. And yet…yet now Robert was out of the way. News of the mugging and murder swept the school. Nobody questioned Robert being out by himself at midnight, probably headed to a party they said. Only I knew the real reason he was there that night. In my valedictorian speech at graduation, I was received with a standing ovation. My fellow classmates knew my ‘loss’, and suddenly I was the most popular and well-liked student on campus. Was I sad about losing my roommate? I’m not so sure. Was I happy about being first in my class? Absolutely. I had gotten what I wanted and worked for. Everything after that fell into place, with acceptance into the best graduate school, and eventually earning my Doctorate and becoming the Head of the English Department. And now, Julia, you know what happened. My little secret is now our little secret, “ Professor Clark said with a smile. 

“Wow, Professor Clark. That is quite a story. And you’ve been holding onto that secret all these years. Don’t worry, it’s safe with me,” she assured him. 

“I knew I could count on you, Julia, my best student!” Professor Clark replied. 

“And now, Professor, I must get back to my work. You know how it is, there’s always something to do!” she said as she stood up to leave. 

“See you tomorrow with your next assignment!” the Professor called after her as she made her way to the door. 

Jen closed the door, and stood for a moment in the hallway. She was running back through Professor Clark’s story, and trying to decide if she should tell someone. Would it matter at this point? Maybe it was best to lay it to rest. 

She pulled her stethoscope from her lab coat pocket, and draped it back around her neck. She made her way to the Nurse’s station, as she did every day after her visit with Professor Clark to “turn in her work”, which was a printed Wikipedia article about any classic book she Googled that day. Today she turned in something by Poe, something about a heart. She would give it to the Professor who took out his red pen, and spent the day making notes in the margins and finally assigning it a grade. He didn’t have much time left, as the cancer was eating away at his organs. And dementia was eating away at his mind. The doctors had told her his final days in the hospice wing were upon him. She would continue to see him each morning and drop off her work til the end. His best student, Julia, whoever she was. 

“And how is the Professor today, Jen?” Kelly asked from behind her clipboard. She was making notes for the morning staff to address at morning meeting before the shifts changed. 

“Same as always. Grading his papers, and telling stories. And…I get the feeling he’s ready for the end now,” Jen said, her face suddenly serious. 

“How do you know?” Kelly asked her, seeing the look on her face. 

“I think he may have told his last tale…” Jen said, and glanced down the sterile white hallway towards Room 106. 

Down the hall, Professor Clark felt a sense of relief having finally shared the truth about Robert. And he closed his eyes.