Forever Alone

The truck rumbles past, rolling effortlessly across the long dirt road. Weathered, drawn looking children in a scattered line along the fence, cry out in desperate hope and longing. Thoughts of home and the sweet smell of candles lighting the houses where their mothers would whisper soft nothings into their ears, happy memories of long ago. If only that were the truth. My brow furrows as I try to push back the reality that I will never see my family again. The truck parks awkwardly, wheels turn up dust that disperses in the wind. Jews, broken from pain, hoping for one last chance as their cries fill the camp. Then, the noise fades as soldiers push them back. The sea of people parts, as visitors have come. Little do they know that they will be here a lot longer than they intended to be…

Jews scuttle from one end of the camp to the other. The orchestra of screaming resounds as crowds push for the first taste of dew. People climb over each other, just for the cool on their tongues, burnt and crisp from the sun. Then suddenly, a lady who looks as wrinkled as a prune jabs her elbows into my head. I dart away as the cantankerous granny knocks children over. Soldiers restrain my people, the religion I was born into. Nazis, their authority only in their batons and guns. I enter one of the tents. I hear a soft whimper, barely audible through the shouts of the insane. One of the beds slightly moves, exposing a gangly leg. Then, sensing my presence, the body straightens. His dark curls wrap around his face like a blanket, wide eyes covered by his bangs. A long grey t-shirt whips around his skinny limbs as he clings to his scarf for warmth. But there is something oddly familiar about his manner, the way he runs his fingers through his hair. No one had told me my brother was coming.

A familiar voice screams in my distant thoughts as blood splatters over their dress. But then I come to the realisation that it is me screaming in horror as my brother coughs up blood. My mind acts in slow motion, but my body moves quickly, dodging another blow of spat up blood. Haemoptysis. My legs dance in a scurry, racing through the damp flaps of the tent, through the camp, towards the soldiers. Voice rising. Tears falling. Nazis rush to the aid of Joseph, my brother. I stand there, silently praying that Joseph will live. My tear streaked face looks for comfort, for Mama and Papa. But they are gone and for the first time in my life, I feel alone.

A hand clamps around my waist, strong and bold. My world is blurred as I desperately search for the predator. I squirm violently, like a scarecrow in a wind tunnel. Arms retract, body meets ground. Tears fill my eyes, but I force them back. My vision returns, head tilted towards the ground where my tears have mixed with dirt. I rise, mud caked across my cheeks. Boy. Hand strong and loving, tears mixing with mine. Nazi. My throat is a hollow hole, no voice to fill in the gaps. His hand smothers my mouth, finger willing me to stop crying.

“Klaus,” he whispers into my ear. “My name is Klaus.”

Food burns my hands; bread melts my frozen skin. “Tell me what it’s like,” Klaus whispers, voice calm and caring. I open my mouth to speak but once again the words flee from my lips. In a desperate hope to speak, I swallow the bread whole. My whole body stops. Heart stops beating. Lungs stop breathing. Hands pumping on my chest as I lay on the floor coughing up bread. My mouth gurgles like water going down a drain. Blood spurts from deep within my lungs as I desperately try to keep it down. Infection, Joseph was contagious. I shove Klaus out of the way, but his steel grip holds me firmly across his chest. Silence. Everyone is looking, eyes wide mouths open like goldfish. Steel capped boots crush heavy soil, plants shrivel underneath the presence of the soldiers. “Showers,” the faint whisper of that word edges around the camp. “Tomorrow, the showers you will go.”

We walk towards the brick building, broken glass shattered at our feet. I hug Joseph close, don't let him see the place we are destined to be. Showers. People go in, none come out. I tell Joseph that we will survive. Not disappear like the others. But I know the truth... we will never escape this place in time. Shadows hide our path as we narrowly dodge the soldiers. “We need to escape,” mutters a voice from the shadows. I half expect a Nazi to be there, taunting us till the death. Klaus lays a firm hand on my shoulder.

“Ya hear me girl or are ya deaf like the other folks?” he asks.

“You know we’re infectious. Wouldn’t want to ruin your expensive uniform!” Joseph strangles, blood mixing inside his mouth.

“So, what’s the plan?”

 Joseph stares at me like the bloods all gone to my head. “I know the weakest parts of this land. Trust me.”

 Joseph sneers at Klaus, “Trust you! Your culture is the reason we’re here!”

 “Joseph,” I whisper, “What have we got to lose?”

Freezing wind, coat tugged around me tightly. Medicine, out there somewhere.

 “When the sun starts a ‘risin, we run,” Klaus mutters to himself in his thick accent.

 We already know the plan, head for the drain. When the first rays of sunshine tickle my eyelids, we rise. Surreptitiously, we walk towards the sewerage. Anything is better than this place. My eyelids are bricks, weighing me down. I collapse onto the floor. A sturdy but shaking hand lifts me up. I see my brother, unconscious, lying in Klaus’s other hand. He drags us to the pipes, wheezing and gasping in the pain of lifting us both.

“See Dad, I am strong- fearless,” he whispers under his breath.

Tears drip down onto my coat, making trails along my muddy face. BANG! Gunshots, two of them. For me. For Joseph. Not meant for Klaus. The world is spinning as I try to make out what just happened. Klaus is not by my side anymore. A hole, deeper than the ground reaches through him. I lift my heavy eyes and run. Not for myself. Not for Joseph, but for my family.

The gates are far beyond us now as Joseph and I sit and eat unripe feijoas. The image of that night still runs through my brain. I make a silent promise, for Joseph, for Klaus. “Take me home but let their souls rest.” Gunshots sound again, splinters in the air. Bullets pass through me as my soul falls away from me. Heartbeat stops. And I know it will never start again.