The Passage To My New Life

Submitted into Contest #30 in response to: Write a story in which someone finds a secret passageway.... view prompt

1 comment

Mystery

It’s Monday morning...why does it have to be Monday? I guess it’s time to move.

My name is Rachel, I’m 17 years old, I live with my mom and we’re about to move to New Orleans. I really wish I didn’t have to move but my mom says it’s best for us because of all the bullying I went through. I’ve been bullied my entire life and finally it drove me to the point where I broke, which meant a trip to the hospital for me. Now I’m on a crazy amount of medications and we’re hoping that I get off them after the move. I hope this move helps me out a lot. If it doesn’t I don’t know what I’ll do.


We’re all most down packing. “Finally!” I think to myself. I grab the rest of my boxes and head to the moving truck, after I finish putting all my boxes in the truck, we get into our car and start driving. It’s only 12 hours away mom said so I have a playlist made and a couple movies downloaded so I don’t get bored. I put my headphones in and start listening, a few songs go by and I start dazing in and out. What feels like a minute later turns into 5 hours, we stop and grab some food and explore cool things we find. We stop at a hotel for a night then get back on the road early the next morning. Mom and I are singing and blasting music in the car to take our minds off how long it’s gonna be, 3 hours go by and the car is silent. I put my headphones back in a fall asleep, when I wake up we are finally at our new house. It’s so old, so creepy, so decrypted, I wish I didn’t have to live here but I guess that’s how life goes. I bring all my boxes into my new room and start unpacking when I hear a weird clicking noise then a slam coming from somewhere in my room, I begin searching for whatever could have made those sounds but I couldn’t find anything. I finally unpack the rest of my room which only took 3 hours to do and lie on my bed while staring at the roof. The clicking starts again, I shoot up from my bed and look around. There’s nothing. I hear the slam again which makes me jump, now I’m really creeped out. I try telling my mom but she just says the house is old and we’ll get use to it, I go back to my room and get some sleep. A few days go by and everything is finally unpacked in the house, we can finally have a regular supper without eating on the floor and I don’t have to worry about it being so empty and creepy in here anymore. Honestly this house is starting to grow on me, I just can’t wait to start my new school. Maybe I’ll make a lot of friends or maybe I’ll just have a small group, which ever I don’t care just as long as I’m not alone. The day goes by slowly but surely and I finally lay in bed and close my eyes.

The next morning I wake up to that stupid clicking again, I slowly get up from my bed and follow the clicking noise. It leads to the carpet in the middle of my room, the carpet starts rising a little then dropping then rising and continues to do so. I grab the carpet and throw it aside, there’s a hidden door with a small handle underneath. The door slams shut, so I try and open it. It won’t open. I grab a crowbar from the garage and try to pry it open. It opens. Theres a ladder, it’s dark and cold in there and there’s no sound coming from it. I grab my phone and turn on my flashlight, I still can’t see what’s down there. So I finally woman up and go down the ladder, it felt like I was going down that ladder for hours. When I get to the bottom there’s another door, this time this one I'm able to open. No one would ever guess what’s inside, it’s all of New Orleans but in brighter colours. I walk through the door and close it behind me, all I could think of was exploring all this this, so I do. I explore everything and finally when I was going down my street, I seen my house. I walked in. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, smiling and waving at me with a huge meal prepare. I sit down with her and all I can think of

”this is crazy right? This can’t be happening to me? Can it?”

My mom looks at me with a very disturbing smile.

”You’re home my dear, oh how I missed you. You can’t leave like that again. You can’t escape me now”

She grabs my wrist, I pull away from her and run out the door. I search everywhere for that door to bring myself home but when I finally found it, it was locked. I turn around and my mother is running at my screaming, I try pulling on the door as much as I can but it won’t open and finally I think to myself.

”I’m stuck here...there’s no way out...this was the passage to my new life and now I can’t go back. But what about my real mom, my new life, my new school, I could have made so many new friends and now it’s all ending when it hasn’t even started. I can’t do this...”

I turn around to see that mom has disappeared. She’s no longer running at me and she is no where to be seen. I turn back around and mom grabs me by my hair with a brick in her hand.

”Sleep tight my love“ mom says as she slams the brink into my face.

”AHHHHHH!!!!!” I scream....

February 27, 2020 00:20

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1 comment

Gloria Salazar
22:48 Mar 05, 2020

This story has some good structural bones to it. It's a bit lax on descriptive work however. A bit more dialogue could help flesh out the story. The ending is very interesting especially the conflict in her own mind about her regret over her decision. There is a lot to work with here. Keep up the good work.

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