Welcome To the Farm

Belinda’s feet hurt. She was barefoot and had been walking in the desert for the past four hours. According to her watch, it was only 10:30 am but the temperature had to be in the upper 80s already. This John was a regular so she didn’t question him when he said they had to go where no one would see them. He drove past the roadside motel they usually went to and into the expansive desert. She thought he might have a camper set up somewhere or something.

There was no camper. Just his car in the middle of the desert and he wanted everything on the menu this time. Oral, anal, vaginal, and back again until she could barely feel anything anymore. She always carried wet wipes in her tote bag for occasions like this when there would be no way to clean up between sessions. The last UTI she had burned like a bitch when she pee’d and she didn’t want to experience that again so she was super careful about keeping clean.

He was rough this time, but he didn’t leave any marks that she knew of. Whatever drugs he was on to make him so hard core, she didn’t want any part of it ever again. After the last go round, she fell asleep on the ground on a blanket she found on the floor of the back seat. The glare of the sun coming over the mountain side woke her up and when she opened her eyes, she saw he and car were gone. Belinda thought maybe that’s why he took her so far out, so he could do whatever he wanted to her and leave her there to die from exposure.

Belinda thought if she was going to die from anything, it was going to be from trying to get herself out of this mess and out of fucking strange guys for a living. It wasn’t glamourous and she didn’t make the kind of money she used to when she was younger. She promised herself, if she did make it out of the desert, she was going to take what money she did have saved and go back to Uniontown where her parents still lived. They were getting up there in years and could probably use a hand around the house, running errands, or whatever. It was worth a shot.

Her crotch was sore from him pummel fucking her practically to death, her feet were dry, cracked, and sore from walking barefoot for hours, and her throat was so dry it felt like sandpaper when she tried to swallow. She must have left her water bottle in the back of his car and of course he didn’t leave it for her. When she first started walking, she talked out loud to keep herself company and to keep herself from becoming too scared about being alone. She talked about the guy who left her stranded and how she wanted to turn that prick in for the way he treated her and left her out here. Of course, the cops around her neighborhood didn’t really care much unless you got beat up or something serious. They figured if walking the streets for money was a risk you were willing to take, then you deal with the consequences, too. Kind of shitty but what can you do.

Belinda thought about what she would do differently with her life. Every year her resolutions would be to quit smoking, cut down on the drinking, and try to eat healthier. Maybe get a real job. The hard part was going to be getting the money together to pack up and move. She thought she might be better off to sell what she could of her belongings and take only what she really needed when she went home to her parents. If they would let her come back, that is.

The last time Belinda saw her parents, it wasn’t good. They came out to surprise her and she had just gotten home from working. She had fallen asleep wearing her street clothes so when she answered the door, she looked like an extra on an 80’s crime drama dressed like hooker who had been up all night working. When her parents questioned her, Belinda was too tired to lie about it and told them how she had been making a living. They were not happy. They told her to pack up and she was gong home with them. Belinda told them she was an adult and could live her life the way she wanted and that sex work was still legitimate work.

Her mom cried and her dad was angry. Belinda was belligerent toward them and kicked them out of her apartment. That was two years ago. Belinda hoped if she ever did get to see her parents again, they would forgive her and take her in. “Please God, help me get out of here. I promise I will change if you give me the chance.” Belinda said as she looked up into the sky. She had never prayed before and didn’t consider herself a religious person but in that moment, she felt that if God really did give her a second chance, she would make an effort to visit the church her parents attended.

It was about 10 minutes later when Belinda finally came to the highway. She dropped her tote bag onto the dirt and then plopped herself down next to it on the side of the road. She needed to rest for a while. She thought it wouldn’t be too long before a car would pass by. Surely someone would pick her up. The sun was so hot today, her hair was practically too hot to touch and she could feel the skin on her face and shoulders had already begun to get sunburned. She had to look like quite the sight to anyone who might stop for her.

Belinda tried to think of stories to tell in case she did get picked up. She and her boyfriend were going somewhere when they got into a fight and he kicked her out of the car. She didn’t have a car but needed to get home to her parents and no one has picked her up yet.

She wished she had packed a change of clothes in her bag. If anyone did pick her up, she knew she would stink of sex, sweat, and desert. And if she was really being honest with herself, even if someone did slow down to stop, once they took a good look at her, they’d probably keep going. Her picture would end up on some billboard under the word “MISSING” and the couple who passed her by would look at each other and say, “Honey, doesn’t she look like that poor girl we saw on the side of the road and didn’t pick up? Poor thing, I hope they find her.”

Belinda stood up and looked down the road to her right and squinted her eyes to try and see as far as she could but there was nothing but a long stretch of road leading to nowhere. She looked to her left and saw basically the same thing. Blisters had begun to form on her feet and Belinda didn’t want to walk anymore. She was still exhausted and her head was cloudy from dehydration. She sat back down, plumped up her tote bag like a pillow, and laid her head down on it. This might really be it, she thought, but she was too tired to fight it. She remembered what she had said earlier but that was when she still had hope of making it out of there. Now, she was just too tired and the sun too hot.

Belinda fell asleep on the side of the road and dreamt of meeting a nice man coming to her aid. He nudged her and asked her name but she couldn’t answer. A bright light shown in her eyes preventing her from seeing his face but when he picked her up, he was very gentle and she felt as light as air. There were voices in her dream and hard as Belinda tried, she couldn’t hear what they were saying. She dreamt she was being carried for a short time and then the man set her down gently and brushed the hair from her face. He whispered something in her ear but Belinda couldn’t make out what he said. She wanted to ask but her mouth didn’t work. She couldn’t speak. The space she was in became very dark and quiet then she was floating.

She must have slept for hours because when she woke, Belinda could tell it was night. It was almost pitch black where she was and she could hear music in the distance. Muffled sounds of Motown hits but no more voices. She tried to get her bearings but it still felt like she was floating on a hard surface. Her body was curled up tight in a ball and when she tried to straighten it out and sit up, she realized she was trapped inside a box of some kind.

What she thought she dreamed was real. Someone, a man, or maybe two, must have found her on the side of the road, picked her up, put her in this box, and God knows where they are taking her? Belinda began to panic. A whimper escaped her lips. She had to keep her wits about her but how? She didn’t know if there was one man or two or more. She didn’t know where they were going or what would be waiting for her when they got there. What was she going to do?

Belinda didn’t care if they had taken her to fuck her. She was used to people using her body. She had stop caring what happened to her body and the men who used it a long time ago. She could handle whatever they wanted to do. But what did scare her was if they wanted to torture her or kill her. She was afraid of dying. Belinda had been beat before a few times and thought once or twice she was going to be killed by Johns who liked things rough but this was different. If they wanted to really harm her, they would and no one would care.

Her parents were mad at her and hadn’t spoken to her in two years, the neighbors knew what kind of work she did and were always telling her how dangerous it was, and the cops didn’t care until it was too late. They probably wouldn’t even realize she was missing until the first of the month when the rent was due and she hasn’t been seen recently to pay it.

The landlord will probably let people pick through her things and throw whatever people don’t want in the trash. They’ll take her few pieces of heirloom jewelry she got from when her Grandma passed away and probably pawn it for drug or booze money. The little stuffed lion she was given from her parents after a visit to the circus when she was a little girl which she kept near her pillow on her bed would probably go the neighbor’s kid or the trash. All her clothes, cds, dvds… Everything she had worked so hard for was now going to people who didn’t care how much she sacrificed or searched for every item. How much those things meant to her.

I did this to myself, she thought. I put myself in this position by working the streets. I knew this was a dangerous way of making money and I shouldn’t have trusted that guy and let him take me out to the desert. Now, I am going to be tortured and killed and it’s my fault, she thought to herself. I’ll never get the chance to say goodbye to my parents or tell them how sorry I am to have disappointed them and how much I love them. I’ll never get the chance, she thought, to really be someone. Someone worthy.

Belinda began crying softly to herself. She was so tired, hungry, thirsty, and scared, she had no energy for anything else. It wouldn’t be much longer, she thought. They have to stop eventually. Maybe she could bargain with her captors. She didn’t have much to offer which she knew they knew already just from the fact of where they found her and the condition she was in at the time. She had no skills and she never really cooked anything more than mac and cheese or scrambled eggs or ramen noodles. Maybe she could learn? Maybe they would let her learn to take care of them if she was good and didn’t fuss or make a mess or cry too much or give them a hard time? It was worth a shot. Her father always told her, “A question not asked, is an automatic no.” She stopped herself from crying and wiped her nose and face with her arm. She would ask. It was worth a shot.

The music got quiet and Belinda heard a knock on the box and then a muffled voice, “Hey! You awake back there? Knock back on the box if you’re awake?”

Belinda was startled to hear the voice but quickly knocked rapidly three times on the box. She wanted him to know she would cooperate and do whatever he asked.

“Good. We’re almost there, okay? Just a little longer, then we’ll get you out of there, something to eat, a pee break, and do a little talking, okay?”

He sounded like a good guy, so she knocked quickly again three times. All of those things he said sounded so good. Maybe this would work out, she thought. She had promised God she would start over. This wasn’t exactly how she had pictured it, but she was in no shape or place to be picky about it. Beggars can’t be choosers as they say.

Belinda laid in the box trying to center herself before they arrived at the destination. She wanted to be as calm as possible for them when they opened the box so they could see she was worth keeping. She thought again about her apartment and all of her things and decided there wasn’t anything of real value to her anymore. That was the past and this was going to be her future. She wanted to start off on the right foot. Make a good impression. She knew it was weird and a little fucked up to be thinking this while being transported in a box by an unknown person but it was the only reality she had to hold on to.

After a while, Belinda felt the car slow down, make some turns, and then down what felt like an old bumpy road. The car stopped and turned off. Belinda was excited and scared but was determined to remain calm no matter what happened. Maybe God sent someone to help her. She didn’t want to ruin it by freaking out as soon as the box opened.

She heard the back door open and felt the box slide toward the opening. Then, a knock on the box and the voice, “Hey, we’re here. Gonna take you inside. We’re not going to hurt you. I’ll explain once we get inside. Just hold tight in there, okay?”

Belinda knocked on the box three times so he knew she heard.

“Good girl. Okay, hold on.” She heard him say.

Please, thought Belinda, please let him be a good guy. I promise to be good from now on.

Belinda heard the muffled voices of other men and some women as the box with her inside was carried into what Belinda thought to be a house of some kind. Women were good. That meant they probably weren’t going to hurt her.

Once inside, the box was set down but not opened right away. She could hear the talking but not the words. Finally, the voice she knew came closer and began to speak.

“Hey in there, so…I’m going to open the box in a minute but I need to explain something to you first. My name is Joshua and I’ve brought you to the farm. I was driving here when I saw you on the side of the road. You looked pretty bad so I decided to pick you up and bring you here before talking to my farm members first. I put you in the box so you wouldn’t know exactly where the farm is and also so you wouldn’t try to escape before you saw where I was taking you. I didn’t want you to be scared. I know, by the clothes you’re wearing and how you look, that you really need help and I think the farm can give that to you if you give us a chance. Are you okay with that? Knock on the box if you are.”

Belinda thought Joshua was an answer to her prayers and quickly knocked three times. She wished she could’ve cleaned up before meeting these people for the first time but maybe this way was better.

“Good. Okay, I’m opening the box…” Belinda heard a lock being opened and the box top slowly open. The light from the room was bright and she had to shield her eyes with her arm. Her eyes adjusted to the light and Belinda, looking up from the box, saw two men and two women looking down at her. One of the men reached his hand toward Belinda slowly and said, “I’m Joshua.”

Joshua looked so normal and nice, she smiled and reached her hand in return for help out of the box. “I’m Belinda.”

Joshua smiled at her and said, “Welcome to the farm.”

Belinda looked around at her new surroundings and knew she would be happy here. This was home.