How it started on a train...

// Trigger Warning: This story includes description of a person’s TOXIC RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES and EMOTIONAL ABUSE. //

A girl is looking out the train window. She is attractive and nicely dressed. She is young and appears to be in her mid-twenties. She has her hair down and her left ear, which is facing me, is visible since it is keeping her hair back.

I have been captivated by her ever since I first saw her. She is sitting in the single-line row of seats on a window seat, and I am sitting exactly diagonally across the aisle on a window seat looking the other way. To get to the last station, which is also my destination, we began from the station approximately 30 minutes ago and will need another 4 to 5 hours. Since it is the first quarter of the year, it is off-season, and the majority of the seats in the cabin are empty.

Some time passes and it’s been about 45 minutes now since we started but she has not moved at all. For some reason, she is incredibly stiff and quiet. She seems to be lost in her thoughts.  She isn’t reading anything and I don’t think I can see any earplugs in the ear that’s exposed so it doesn’t seem like she is listening to music. I wonder what she is contemplating.

I stop looking since I feel like I'm doing it too much and instead focus on the scene outside the window. It's still early and the outdoors is foggy. Despite the poor visibility, it looks beautiful. The fog has a yellow hue from the rising dawn that turns blue as it moves toward the opposite end. I take a few minutes to take in the beautiful scene since it has me spellbound.

Unintentionally turning to gaze at the girl once more, I notice that she is rubbing her eyes. Are they tears? Is she crying? No, why would she? Are her eyes itchy? Perhaps she slept too little the night before and must be sleepy. I find it impossible to look away from her hair as it cascades down her shoulders as she tilts her head to touch her eyes. I admire her for some time but I again start to feel like a stalker or creep so I open the book I downloaded for this trip and start reading. I peruse a few pages of the novel and as I near the intriguing part, I hear her “sigh” and see her lower her head.

I have the impression that she might be depressed. But why? Can’t I do anything to help her? I don’t have much to do and I can't just turn a blind eye and pretend as if nothing happened. I’ve always been this way. Simply put, avoiding someone in need is not in my nature. Some say I am a little nosy, but I only meddle when I feel I can help someone through a difficult moment even if it’s just lending an ear to them.

I feel nervous and concerned. Should I go talk to her? Will she freak out if I do? What if I’m mistaken and she may really be sleepy? I decide to wait and observe the space.

As I’m thinking and observing, the TTI comes for his inspection. When her ID and e-ticket are being examined, I sneak a glimpse at her face and note that her nose and eyes are very red. Although she avoids looking up at the TTI because she is bashful, we chance to make eye contact and I can tell she is distressed and she has been sobbing, and I suddenly have the impulse to go talk to her.

I don't stare, but I do occasionally glance in her direction to check how she's doing. After the TTI has left, she turns back to the window and takes a deep breath before giving a little, gradual shrug. I check the time, it’s been a little more than two hours and there are still around three hours and thirty minutes left. Normally, I don't take the initiative, but this time I can't stop thinking about it. I reach into my bag and take out a lunch box with sandwiches in it.

I make up my mind, take a deep breath and stand up and approach her. She doesn’t notice me. I clear my throat and say “Excuse me?” She looks at me startled. “Hi, I am Kris. Mind if I sit here?”

She shakes her head and I sit down. “I got packed some extra food, would you like some?” OMG, I sound extremely suspicious, I realize that after I’ve spoken. In my head, it didn't sound quite as horrible. Should I simply say, "Sorry, Don't mind me," then go away? She wouldn’t ever agree to eat with a stranger.

As I doubt my whole existence, she grins and nods her head in agreement to eat with me. “Sure, why not.” She replies. ”I’ll be glad to have some company right now. I’ve also got some fruit and eggs. Hope you like them.”

She took it well, and I'm glad she didn't think I was some weirdo. No one says anything as we begin to eat. It’s getting a little awkward. I break the silence by inquiring about her health and how she has been. She takes a second to reply and says that it’s all good while looking down. We both know that is a lie. I simply nod and continue eating. We both do this.

As I finish my sandwich and notice that she’s almost done with hers, I wait for her to complete eating then I lean a bit forward on the table before saying, “Hey, I know life can be hard at times and sometimes things may get too much for one person to cope with alone.” “I realize you don’t know me… but if you wish, I will hear you out. You can tell me anything and everything and I'll pledge not to mention it to anybody else. All I want to do is support you. And if there is anything else I can do to help, please tell me, I will be glad to help you.”

She stares at me in awe for a while, trying to determine whether I'm speaking sincerely or not. She gives it some thought for a moment, then straightens her back, takes a few deep breaths, and turns to face me. and says, "I'm," Sherilyn, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and… this world would be such a better place if only everyone were as considerate as you.” She gives a soft smile and continues, “It's true life can be really really difficult sometimes. Right now it’s too much for me to handle. I… I don’t know what went wrong. Things were going so well but then suddenly everything changed.”

Her smile disappears and she looks deeply hurt and I can tell that she is on the point of another emotional breakdown. But she keeps talking and sharing. She starts outlining her tale for me. She starts telling me about how she was trapped in a super toxic relationship with an extremely toxic and fake person. She lost her dream job as a result of the excessive stress brought on by manipulative behaviour. She was just too stressed to continue.

She told me about how she had loved and cherished her ex as both a person and a friend before he became toxic. It appears that they were longtime closest friends before developing romantic feelings and moving things forward.

Things were great for them the first year in commitment but then everything gradually turned dark. He was a great man at first who was not only thoughtful but also caring. He seemed to be one of the best men she thought she could ever have in her life. Until she was proven wrong many many times. He had lied to her about numerous things and hid the truth about many things because he wanted to exploit her.

He had deceived her with all of his false claims, and when she realised they were untrue, she began to distance herself from him. However, he was enraged by this and began acting like the victim, placing all the blame on her and making her feel horrible. She informed me that she was serious about starting over as well when the guy claimed he knew he was wrong but it was a mistake. She now regrets her choice because she quickly saw that he had not changed at all.

He was her best friend for years earlier and so they had shared quite a lot of details like ID, address and contacts but after things started going south he started using this to his advantage and tried to intimidate her saying that he would use her information inappropriately and treat her disrespectfully wherever she went. She continued and said that he had a lot of issues with everything she did and especially with her circle and that he said he would behave better if she did not get in touch with her pals.

At this point, with each sentence, I was getting more and angrier at that shameless and cunning guy; how could he threaten anyone in such a way, let alone someone as kind and sincere as she?  I thought, “So he was basically trying to isolate the girl so that he could have more influence over her.”

She went on about all her issues and I listened carefully and gently. She told me about how she didn’t feel it was right and when she tried to get help from people, they couldn’t understand her sorrow or perceive her suffering. She has finally decided to break free from her toxic ex and wants to move on once and for all to lead a new and better life after two long years of mental agony and name-calling by him.

When she states that she wants to work on herself and become a better version of herself, there is a touch of resolve in her eyes. Despite the fact that she is still in recovery from her ordeal, she wants to persevere to the end so she can once again feel proud of herself. Her abusive ex-boyfriend continues to threaten to make her life difficult. She has, however, decided to go against conventional wisdom and stand up for her independence and pleasure.

She forces a smile when she tells that she has been extremely unhappy for so long and she still fears her ex and the things he can do because he has a lot of influential contacts. But now she has had enough and has applied to a reputable global corporation and they have called her for an interview in the city where I am headed. Our final destination appears to be the same.

She takes a pause and looks at me and says “I’m sorry for looking so miserable that I got you worried. I don’t usually display my emotions in public but today I simply lacked the strength to hide them behind a smile.” I shake my head.

“Thank you for allowing me to let it out. I had kept this bottled up inside me for so long and it was starting to become too heavy for me to carry. I feel better after sharing it with a good soul. Thank you, really, … I was really having a hard time keeping things to myself and also starting a new phase in life at the same time. I feel lighter now.”

As she spoke the last few sentences, she beamed like an angel who just remembered how to fly again. Upon hearing her words I too feel pleased that I may have been able to reassure someone. I reply reminding her that I promise to keep her feelings and ideas to myself and no one else. So she doesn’t have to worry about anything. I also let her know that I will pray for her health and that God would grant her the bravery and strength she needs.

This time, her smile is more radiant. We talk a bit more about random topics. We talk about anything and everything. I share my likes and dislikes and stories too. And we crack jokes along the way. We enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t realize how much time had passed until the TTE came and informed us that we were about to reach the last stop and prepare to disembark.

We look at each other in disbelief and we can read each other’s minds and we were both thinking the same thing that we got too engrossed in our conversation that we weren’t aware of how much time had gone by.

…

We walk in silence as we disembark and proceed to the exit together s we both know that it's best this way, we don't trade contact information. We enjoyed ourselves and didn't want to ruin that.

As we part ways, I smile and pat her shoulder and say.

“Wish you good luck and Bon Voyage, my friend, as you set out to realize your aspirations.”

…

I'm totally surprised to see her at a friend's party the next day. When I re-approach her, she recognises me right away. We were both invited to the celebration. It turns out, my close friend and her pal shared a flat together and are now a couple. We were strangers till yesterday, but today we find out we have pals in common. All of this is quite implausible, but nonetheless, here we are. This time though, we exchanged phone numbers.

The end.