An Old Friend has Returned

The sensation of a gentle breeze brushed against my skin, its cool touch leading me to follow its flowing direction of the evening. As I proceeded walking down the path of my beautiful garden, I let my mind wander. It’s intriguing to contemplate the contradiction inherent in the experience of wind: during the day, it can be comforting and useful for cooling the body in the heat, while at night, when one’s indoors and the windows are shut, the sound of heavy winds outside can make you shiver. Thus, wind carries a strong force or power that is felt across distances, yet remains invisible to the eye. 

However, on this occasion, I felt this breeze as comfort over me. It was as if my old friend, the wind, whispered in my ear, reminding me: “Every time you experience this sensation, it’s a reminder that you’re truly alive. Breathing.” 

I stood there for a couple of minutes, marveled at the complexity of nature and the mysteries it held. It was as if I were experiencing it all for the first time. The feeling became extraordinary due to the comforting sensation it gave me. At that moment, I realized I wasn’t feeling quite like myself. Exhaustion and overwhelm weighed heavily upon me. It reminded me how we often overlook self-care amid life’s demands. Amidst chaos, the wind urged me to pause, breathe and embrace this given moment.

Nevertheless, It would be lovely that I could live endlessly, free from the worries of daily tasks, without concern for material possessions or physical needs for days, months, years or for an eternity. It is impossible but only in one’s imagination. These thoughts merely represent a fleeting desire or breaking free from reality for a moment. I prefer times of peace, may or may not be entirely alone. I may be accompanied by some beautiful birds, squirrels, crickets, butterflies and other living creatures that surround me in the given moment. I find this moment pleasing to observe the endless expanse of the sky and its distant stars above, and the swaying trees, the gentle rustle of leaves, and the soft movement of twigs as they are part of the harmony with the breeze. As well as observing the captivating colors of the flowers and how gorgeous they looked. I had created this little garden of mine to make it more beautiful and pleasing to see rather than just seeing garden materials and empty space.

Days like today are rare for me, mostly because I’ve been consumed by the demands of reality. It’s odd how I find solace in solitude, simply reveling in the beauty of nature. The scarcity of such moments stems from a lifetime of work that began in my youth, leaving little time for me. I’ll briefly say this. Being the eldest in my family, I naturally assumed the role of a second mother, given the size of our household. With both my parents working almost everyday - my mother as a cook and my father as a janitor - I joined my mother in her kitchen duties at times, witnessing her enduring pains in her feet as were mine. As well as her pain in her lower back.

My brothers and sisters all excelled in their life with struggles but we reached the goal. Reminds me of when a flower starts as a seed, to then a sprout to then a beautiful flower. For I am very delighted to see them grow and so would be both of my parents. Both of my parents didn’t exactly see all of my brothers and sisters succeed as their time came and so will for me one day.

Despite everything, going from poverty to some wealth, struggles and achievements, I appreciate my moments also with my grandparents. My grandmother was very old and lived very short I would say. I wished I had met her longer. She very much loved me as much as I loved her. She was the best and always made my favorite foods that now I cry and only remember her by her recipes and her fun little times with her. I appreciate her for always caring for the family. My grandfather was my inspiration and addition to what I’ve become now. He is the one who taught me about various flower species there are and the skills needed to cultivate a garden were my first admiration of nature. A love for horticulture grew in me. He encouraged me to take his books home, igniting a passion for planting that eventually led to my dream of becoming a gardener. Working alongside him during those scorching days, a refreshing breeze would inevitably sweep through, offering respite from the heat. Today, the same breeze invokes a sense of nostalgia, reminding me of the connection it was shared and lessons learned amidst the blossoms. As I always say, I do feel that nature is valuable because it sustains life, providing us with clear air, water, and food. It offers raw materials for remedies, medicine and construction. This highlights the importance of preserving our environment for future generations. My grandfather during these times would share his visions, drawings with me for future references for my future garden, nurturing not only flowers but also vegetables. While life’s trials have diverted me from that path, I can only now remember the memories when I was with him. 

I then felt the urge to read one of the old books he gave me back then just to see again. The small notes and lovely drawings I did with him. I also looked for one of the albums where my grandmother would obviously take photographs of me and grandpa working in the garden. I suddenly felt this feeling that made me cry and wished if I could only turn back in time. I can now only dream about them smiling and admiring me for who I’ve become. And I wish I could tell them how grateful I am to both that I also succeeded in life because they were also my motivation to continue aside from my family. I moved and sat there in front of the porch as I am looking through these memories in my hands and a return of the familiar breeze serves as a gentle reminder of life’s precious moments, asserting my gratitude for the chance to experience its fleeting embrace.