The night the sky fell

Do you remember the asteroid shower? It was absolutely breathtaking but never did get a mention from astronomers and weather experts alike. It was much darker than expected and eerily quiet allowing perhaps too much space for usually submissive thoughts to come to the forefront of one's mind with a bitter scream when one really needs them to be compressed and know their place. It was the time of year when revelations are made and people tend to have clarity as to how the year ahead will pan out now New Year's resolutions had long been forgotten and the seasonal daze of merriment and borderline alcoholic family members were now being processed to long-term memory. We were lying on our backs on the crisp damp grass watching the world crash down around us like a tragic yet beautiful apocalypse. It happened so fast, As the meteors came crashing down they had become so constant that as I tried to take in each beautiful blur and memorise the moments in my life that each represented I saw you were hurt. I know they always tell you that you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others but try telling that to the single mother who’s afraid of losing her entire reason for being, her only son or the elderly lady helping her husband who’s arthritic hands are too swollen before herself because after 60 years life isn’t worth living if he isn’t by her side. When I saw you were struggling to get yours on and you were hurt I didn’t hesitate to help you before myself. I was so happy when you took that first laboured breath after infinite minutes had passed I was scared that Even in my haste I was too late during your moment of need and all was but lost. Once I saw the fire within you smouldering but still alight an indescribable feeling of relief washed over me as you opened your eyes the glimmer of an old soul staring through your enviable lashes and a once-forgotten hint of a smile dared to curve your lips it was only in that moment as I felt the warm relief run through my veins and reach my extremities that when I tried to catch my bated breath as my muscles slowly became less tense that I couldn’t, I’d never stopped to fit my own mask. You see I was hurt too but I had to make sure your mask was on properly because I could wait I always have, if In the moment you looked up and saw my naked face you never would have let me help you therefore sealing both our fates just as Romeo and Juliet. my pain has never compared to the pit in my stomach when I see those closest to me suffer so unbeknownst to you time and time again I’ll always put yours on first. Somehow that serendipitous moment feels like it was only yesterday still raw and alive but the seasons passing by constant and unwavering whisper of a different time. It seems like the clock has chimed far more than what would be acceptable to ask for someone to help me off the crispy wet grass and walk with me to the sunrise so we may look back together and remember the night we saw the galaxy fall around us completely obliterating life as we know it and allowing us to grow and adapt to our new unexpected future. We’ve grown since then just as the forest ablaze with fury and embers become charcoal before evolving again as wispy saplings spring forth from the ashes showing us that even with complete destruction life can renew. As I began to look around and assess the damage the world stilled for a moment allowing the physical and emotional pain to burst forth and take centre stage. I looked inwards so I could reflect and distract hoping for some solstice and maybe some kind of epiphany and instead found a false friend. one who fooled me into a sense of belonging and comfort yet all too eager to foster my self-destruction. As my new friend's depression crept in he coaxed anxiety to follow him, anxiety not satisfied with just following orders and questioning his self-worth invited the feelings loneliness and self-doubt who never seemed to go anywhere without the other. As one day blended and absorbed the next in a cloak of gray over and over, I put my head down and allowed instead nothing to wash over, maybe it would drive the other uninvited guests away. if I needed help with my mask still my loved ones would notice surely, if I had stumbled upon a time warp allowing me to relive the night of celestial fireworks over and over like a sadistic Groundhog Day I wouldn’t always visit alone I thought. When I remember the night the stars fell from the sky memory by memory burning up as it rained down without hesitation I try to think of the beauty in the darkness and what good things could never have come to be if it weren’t for the devastating loss, anger, betrayal and grief that lit up the pitch black heavens above but I need your help so I may rebuild our future and our children's without the uninvited guests that won’t leave so please help me with my mask now yours is fitted and be my voice when mine isn’t loud and outspoken anymore, come venture back in time and don’t worry we’ve done this before but this time we will be prepared in a way that only experience can ready you. We will put on each other’s masks before needing to catch our breath before the adrenaline rushes our body and leaves us frozen in time and place. It seems invalid to worry about the masks as they usually only become a necessity when impending doom is likely but remember the fall doesn’t hurt it’s only the sharp and sudden stop at the bottom. This time though we will hold hands as the asteroids dance across the sky edging dangerously closer as they vanish after their aggressive debutante and name each moment and memory before rushing to the next thus allowing acceptance in time because if we’re both going to get through this we need to be prepared and not foolish and naive enamoured by the luminous death of life as we knew it. When the storm passes and the night fades away, this time we will help each other up and stand to face the dawn as one. This time not fighting away each other’s parasitic thoughts and feelings intent on secretly gnawing our insides but instead never allowing our invasive demons to hoodwink us and instead recover to become a force to be reckoned with destroying the time warp and turning the night of the meteor storm into a reminder, a shoebox of memories with photos and obituaries tucked away neatly but always accessible so that we don’t forget as long as we remain a united front that this too shall pass.