Lines from an old story

The sun began to set over the trees that started to change color just a week ago. As I sat on the bench by the old park my eyes began to wander the area that surrounded me. It was different from when I was younger. Prancing around here with my friends , no responsibilities or a care in the world. Only thing I had were my brothers and my girlfriend , who also happen to be one of my best friends. It was always funny how our story went from a start to an end. Never the less she was an amazing addition to my life , even though I don’t think I could ever face her again. For my own selfish reasons of course.

In the place I sat , I remember there was no bench when we were growing up. There were a few trees and a couple big rocks. Big enough for a couple of us to lounge around on to escape the hot summer blazes we endured. Darkening our skin because we never cared for a spf anything. so many memories from the neighborhood rushed my mind , good ones , of course. The aura of the moment pushed my mind to something different , when she ..

”Are you telling me you’re leaving ?“ You could tell by the glaze in her pupils she was holding back her tears. Something in my heart cracked a little and made me freeze in my current position. Throat abnormally dry and I could feel her intense emotions and feeling of anger radiating off her body onto mines.

“The opportunity presented itself and I couldn’t be immature and not take it. This could completely better my life , our life.” I explained the best way I could. Swallowing the spit I could gather from my dry mouth to not crack under pressure. I loved her but she wouldn't see this as love, she‘d only see it as leaving.

“I completely understand. I want you to do what’s best for you and what makes you happy. If getting away is it then by all means go ahead , but I don’t think I can allow you to just change up what I also wanted to do as well.“ she admitted. “ I can’t allow you to tell me you love me then just disappear into an abyss of commands from the government. You’re the only man I’d ever love this hard but if you’re leaving then I think there is no need for you to bring us along with you.”

The tears she held back now streaming down her chocolate cheeks. Making another piece of my heart break , in my head I wanted to grab her and kiss her. Tell her everything was alright. But we’ve been through so much at this point that’d be breaking up whatever boundary she needed for herself since I was leaving.

“I really do love you , Naomi. im not leaving to escape you , I’m leaving to build something better for you because I know you deserve better. I’m trying to be the man you keep begging me to be , now that I’m doing that you want to leave ?” I questioned , looking down at her slightly smaller frame.

“Thats the issue , A’lan. You made a big boy decision at the expense of both of us. After I had to beg you to take leaps for years. If you'd had been more open to opportunity before our problems would never be this big. Weve been arguing for weeks , I lost a kid. I think we need to grow up and then maybe swing back around when everything’s alright.“ I could tell by the chinky-ness of her eyes that this was very hard for her to say. Trust me I could feel it , I knew we needed to break up but how can you let go of everything you’ve ever known? How can you let go of the only one you’ve ever loved? It was hard but she was doing it , being the woman of the situation. I hated her for it right now because I needed her support but fuck she needed me and I wasn’t there.

“You we’re not the only one to lose a child , it may have hit you because the physical pain but damn I’m the father. my heart dropped to

my stomach when you told me what we could have built crashed. I love every part of you and for us to reproduce would’ve made everything perfect. Even if we had our stupid little issues , I love you either way. I know you feel like you were alone in a lot of things but trust me i was always there. I just didnt know how to communicate. I can’t force you to stay but I wish you nothing but the best in everything that you do. Hopefully life leads us to better things and then back to each other.”

She parted her lips to speak but no words left her lips. Just a blank stare into the room , everything was so quiet you could hear a pen drop from the upstairs bedroom. She let out a sigh before grabbed her things and exiting the house.

Left. Now I have been through many things and a few women but still have not seen another Naomi. I’m not searching for her soul in another woman for I know there is not one soul like the next. But I do know for sure she is the one I am thankful for giving my heart to. It’s been three weekends since I’ve been back home and for some odd reason I feel like fate is trying to be in play. Something tells me you’re going to come prancing down the block and just notice me. Hopefully you’re not with anyone new , in my mind this could be a start to our happy new beginning. It in a sad case for me that yoI happen to be in a commitment I still wish to see your smile , even if it’s not because of me.