Everything Is Gone

The voices are thicker this time. They whisper in my ears like the howling wind in a grey storm. I don't understand, how can this possibly be? I have fought hard to be where I am now and yet... something.. something is missing. Something was creating a void in my heart like a black hole that only swallows and consumes but is never filled. But what was missing. Clutching my head as I kneeled down the voices continued to whisper their secret words. They accuse, they shout, they rage against my very soul. For what? For trying to get what I deserved? For trying to rake myself through the dirt, sweat, blood, and tears just to become someone of worth? But.... was it worth it?

Standing before me was a great hall of mirrors as images flashed in each one. These images are mere memories of the things I've done to get where I am. Slowly I moved forward, my feet dragging heavily as if a ball and chain weighed each step. Coming to the first mirror I saw a memory, the first of many that I must travel to find what is missing.

The memory played; It was my first time as a young business man making my very first big decision. I was a highly reccomended and influential real estate salesman. I was fresh from business school and ready to take on the world and my competetors. The first house i had ever tried to sell and it was between two couples who had their hearts set on this place. But there was alot of things wrong with it, some wiring in the walls were a bit faulty. The basement hadn't been properly sealed so if it rained black mold would surely grow and water would flood it. I had been taught that sometimes lying to get people to invest in a home was common and good for business. But. I had no idea that the couple I sold it to would die in a house fire a year after. I had been traumatized when I found out. But the money I had gotten from the sale was so, huge and it had wetted my appetite for more. I felt greed settle inside me and gods help me I wanted more.

I walked to the second mirror, the shimmering surface flashed like a window into my life and I saw another memory. It had been five years after the fire of the first house. My now I had gotten damned good at selling homes to couples for over the market value. I had lied to each person about the qualities of their homes, nothing major mind you, but enough they wouldnt have noticed until years later and would think it was their fault. I was securing a house next to the house of a competetor. I knew it was wrong of me but, I didnt want to lose a deal. So I sabatoged his sale by messing with the circuit breaker. A small electrical fire was enough to make sure he didnt get that sale and I did. How was I to know his home life sucked and he was one failed sale away from comitting suicide to avoid divorce with his wife?

Moving to the third mirror, the echose of my past muffled like I was under water at first. The image played for all to see, it was my cousins seventeenth birthday party. She had been looking forward to it all year since her parents promised her she eould be able to purchase her very first horse. I hated horses, and my uncle was a snob and always thought he could shove his money money into peoples faces. I had invested a large sum of money into a stable filled with horses, trainers, the best equipment and care, the best food provided. All just to outshine him. My cousin loved it. For a while at least. How was I supposed to know the large stallion wasnt fully tamed for riding and would throw her off? She had hit her head on a large boulder near the river and had drowned that year.

Finally, the fourth and final mirror flashed and chimed beconing me to look into it. But, I didnt want to. I didnt want to see what else I had done in my life. How would these memories explain what was missing in my life? I cried out and slammed my fists to the wall wanting so badly for the mirrors to fall and break. Still they persisted. Why did they persist? What were they trying to teach me? But then, I heard the most beautiful voice of all calling my name from the last mirror. Like a siren's song lost at sea the voice called out to me. Slowly I moved forward, slowly I let one foot fall in front of the other as my approach to whatever lies within this mirror was apprehensive and shakey.

The mirror showed a beautiful memory, a gorgeous moment in my life that, should have been everything to me. It was thanksgiving last year. I was on the verge of the biggest deal yet. It would have given me so much money that I could have finally built that yacht I had been wanting with all the best stuff inside it. My wife of seven years had been hard at work cooking the thanksgiving meal. My sons, twin boys Micha and Charlie, were playing airplanes and running around the house having so much fun. I was in my office working that night, thinking up any way i could make this sale go through at well above asking price. My wife had only turner her back for a moment to find where she had put the turkey baster. Charlie had run through having so much fun he hadnt realized one of his little hotwheels was on the floor. Just as he and Micha had reached the kitchen, little Charlie slipped on the tiny metal car and had fallen directly into the oven. The turkey spilled everywhere, and charlie's legs had flailed so hard they kicked the stoves knobs and had put everything on full blast which had caused a spark. That night, the house had blown up because the flames had gotten to high and had hit the garage where I had several gas cans filled with gas to fill the atvs I had veen planning on taking the boys out on. The flames hit the gas and everything, everything went up in flames.

My wife and sons had died that night, and I hadnt been home when I had said I would be. I had no idea a fired would take away my family. I hadnt found out about the accident until I had tried to go home and found the police and an ambulance there. But, i had secured the deal. I had become one of the richest real estate agents in the country and had order construction of my yacht before I had left the office. When I had seen what happened, I was devastated. I had gotten, everything, I had ever wanted. But now. Now, everything was gone.

Hearing a voice behind me I turned. It was my beautiful graceful wife. I cried like a baby as I ran to hug her and hold her in my arms. But instead of colliding with a warm loving body, I was met with only air as she spoke.

" Vincent my love. You worked so hard every single day. You never ceased to amazing me with how you could sell, sell , sell. But, that never filled the hole in your heart, did it, Vinny?" Her once beautiful blue eyes now clouded by death peered at me with a death stare that chilled me to my very core.

" No baby, no it didn't. That hole in my heart has only grown. Its hunger never sated. My love. Please tell me. Tell me what I have been missing all this time?" Her ghostly visage gave a smile tender yet sad. " Vinny, out of everything you had ever had? The money, the fame, the parties? Out of all of those things, you were missing two things that mattered most. You were missing love and family." She smiled again and kneeled beside me giving a gentle tilt of her head. " you owned the entire world on a platter, and still you stood alone because you pushed everything else aside. You pushed family away. You pushed the boys away. You, you pushed me away. And now. Now you have, nothing. No money, no fame, no family, and above all, no love." With those words she faded as I realized she was right. Why, I had had everything i could have ever wanted right there at home. I didnt have to have the big deal. I didnt have to have a yacht, or atvs, or to spend money on spoiling the boys at every turn. I had only needed them. But, now. Everything is gone....