NEVER FORGIVE

“Share? What do they mean, share? Why would they think you’re going to share me?” I hissed, turning every ounce of fury I had on his six feet of sexy. Another arrow zinged through the air and smacked into the door frame inches below the first. 

Zyaire pressed my head down, but I refused to bend. I’d rather die than be taken. 

“What are you doing? Is that your squad out there? Are those your –“ I couldn’t find a better word so I hissed out “-friends.” I wanted to scrape his eyeballs out, but his grip pressing down on me was almost more than I could stand. “Let go of me.” 

“No.” He turned his attention to the door and the men now standing in plain view through the frame.

“Come on, Zy.” A tall man with a beard and a missing tooth gave a huge smile as if they were best of friends. 

“What did you do? Did you come here just to capture me? Fires alive, you are a scumbag.” I punched him in his rib with my free arm, but he only grunted and gripped me tighter. 

The blood was slowing in my arm, and I couldn’t just stand there waiting to be taken. The dust hovered in the hot sun. The morning was giving way to the blaze of mid-day. It was too hot to run, but that was exactly what I would have to do. I glanced over my shoulder to see if the back door was locked but sensed Zyaire’s eyes following me. In the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the door ajar. Thank the powers that be. 

“Stand down. She’s not your mission.” Zyaire squinted at the man backlit by the sun’s fury.

“Mission. Who said anything about missions. We’re here to gather our comrade and maybe have a few hours of fun.” He leered at me, and my stomach churned. I knew exactly what he meant by a few hours of fun, and there was no way. I’d die before they had their way. I took Zyaire’s distraction with the man to make my move. I bit his hand and he released with a yelp. Maybe he didn’t expect the violence, but I was a fighter. I’d survived the end of the world this long, I wasn’t going down without taking a few people with me. 

I launched myself through the back door feeling the air whooshing past my leg as he lunged for me. The sun’s scalding rays sizzled against my bare flesh. I didn’t have time to grab a coverall. It was only a few steps to the dappled shade of the dead forest. 

An arrow zinged past me from my right, sending dust and dead leaves into the air just beyond my foot. Shouting from my left barely preceded a scuffle. I didn’t have time to investigate. I was flight. I was fire. My legs and arms pumped against the burning inside of me. I was a survivor. 

Someone grunted behind me, but I wasn’t looking back. I needed distance between me and the men after me.

“Behind you, Lyra.” Zyaire shouted before another grunt followed me up the hill. I almost turned back, but survival of the fittest didn’t make exceptions for tall, dark, and handsome, and those were his damn friends. 

Besides, I didn’t need some man to tell me his friends were behind me. I put them there. Why did they feel the awful need to mansplain even the simplest thing? I forced my focus to be laser-sharp as I sprinted straight up the mountain, refusing to leave an inch for them to gain on me. 

Maybe it was hubris. Maybe, the thunderous blood rushing in my ears silenced the sounds around me. Whatever it was, the man hit me like a train, and I slammed to the ground with such force the blanket of darkness swallowed me instantly. 

***

The smack of a sweaty thick hand brought me back too, head ringing. Even though my eyes opened, the world hardened meaty fist was brought to that same cheek when they closed again. The copper tang of blood slipped across my thick, slow tongue. I opened my eyes to find a ring of strange men standing around me. 

Fire lit in my bones. I was not going down without a fight, despite the fact I’d been so easily subdued. I cursed every maker in my mind. Why? Why was I such an idiot? Zyaire stood next to the guy with the beard, who clapped him on the back, saying. “She’ll make for a fine dessert, Zy. Come men, let’s eat.” 

The bearded man turned his back to Zyaire and moved toward the scent of hot food. I couldn’t believe how much he trusted Zyaire. They truly were friends. Somewhere deep inside of me, I hoped Zyaire would come to my rescue. We’d only known each other for a day, but in that time, I foolishly began to believe he was a good guy. Now I cursed all men. 

Zyaire hesitated, staring out of his bruised cheek and black eye at me as if that were some kind of apology for the situation he brought to my door. One black eye wasn’t nearly enough damage for my liking. He deserved to pay with his life for this. I fought against my bindings. 

He turned to me as if he was going to say something. Sorrow emanated from his one good eye, but all I cared about was giving him a matching look for that one good eye. I wanted to spit at him, but the gag in my mouth made it hard to breathe let alone spit. I wished for a poison pill, something to quickly take me from this world. I didn’t want to know what was next. 

Zyaire spun slowly on his heel and moved to eat with the men. Even still, his presence gave me some comfort. It shouldn’t. I should hate all of him. I should pray for the fires to burn him and his men up and I’d eat off their bones and even then, I’d use those bones to work with. 

One arm was bound more loosely than the others and I worked at it, ignoring the painful chafe, forcing it back and forth until it was slippery with my blood. Still, it held. I’d been trussed up and dropped like a sack of potatoes in my own shed. I tried to breathe through my nose, calm my heart, come up with a plan, but I coughed and choked against the gag. 

The men’s voices rose as they sloshed our liquor and raided our storeroom. By the scent of it, they were cooking every single delight we ever procured from the food abandoned in the stores. Even at this moment, I wished my father home from a rations procurement so that he could set their lives on fire. Wishes wouldn’t do anything though. 

“I’m going to wrap my hands around those thick thighs-“ The voice ended in a grunt.

“She ain’t yours.” 

“Hey now, boys. We’ll all get a share.” 

My stomach felt like a rock crushing me to the ground. I had to escape. I had to. 

“Don’t you need to rest? It’s a long journey here from D.C.” 

I’d recognized Zyaire’s voice from the mix, and it sent a hot spark of fury through my spine, pushing me to wiggle across the hard-packed dirt toward the door. My eye caught on the fire burning in the darkness. My father’s favorite chair, built by his own hands, sent waves of orange and yellow blazing into the sky. Our last can of Spam, we’d been saving for a special occasion, was roasting in the fire.

Zyaire’s eye caught on mine. I scowled as if my life depended on it. He only waved me back into the shed. Like I’d listen to him. The betrayer. I’d roast him on that fire next.

A familiar whistle whispered through the night and my fury turned to ice-cold panic. Dad was home early. 

I glared at Zyaire, who turned to the sound as did many of the others.

“Stay with the girl, Zy. Abe, you make sure he doesn’t do anything funny.” The men stood as if on cue and slipped up the mountain with surprising silence. The bare boughs somehow hid them from sight.

Abe grinned at Zyaire. “Guess we get first dibs.” 

Zyaire’s responding smile sent me fighting my bonds with such violence the wounds opened up on my wrists and poured into the dirt beneath me. I was not going down without a fight to the death. Again he waved a hand at me as if to say calm down.  I wanted to scream and tear him limb from limb with my bare hands. Never. Ever. Tell a woman to calm down. 

“You were here first, man. I’ll wait.” Abe’s voice grated against my nerves. 

“You know me. I’m patient. You go ahead.” That solidified it. Zyaire had to die. 

My dad’s whistle grew closer, and I fought against the gag. Someone had to warn him. 

Abe approached me, taking up all of my focus. I pressed my back against the shed wall, forcing fear from my eyes and letting murder take over my features. 

“Sweet girl. I’m not going to hurt you.” His roughened hands came nearer to my face as if he was going to touch my hair. I wanted to bite him, but couldn’t. If there was a deity out there, he’d abandoned me to this fate. 

As I cursed my own survival, a curtain of blood poured out of Abe’s throat onto my face and down my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t make sense of what happened. He fell with a thud beside me and stared unmoving, eyes open. I was pinned between his dead body and the wall, covered in his blood, unable to escape whatever was next. 

I kicked out with both feet determined to knock Zyaire out. No one was going to have dibs on me tonight. I blinked thick blood out of my vision trying to fix my aim, but Zyaire grabbed me by my forearms and lifted me to my feet, shaking me. “I’m rescuing you. Stop it.” 

When he removed the gag from my mouth, I spat at him, and blood dripped from my chin. Like I cared about anything he was trying to do. He brought his squad here and destroyed what little safety we’d carved out of the end of the world. 

He chuckled darkly. “I probably deserve that.” He wiped a wet cloth over my face. 

Just the mention of what he deserved sent me into a fury. He’d brought his men here for a good time. He’d scouted my home out. He did this. I threw my forehead into his one good eye, but he easily caught it with a palm. “Don’t make it too hard to help you. We probably won’t have long. My squad is lethal.” 

And they were headed out to target and eliminate my dad who thinks he’s returning home to his happy daughter safe in his happy home. “You have to save him.” 

He stared into my face with his one good eye, confusion swimming across his face. “I’m trying to save you.” 

“No. You have to save my dad.” I pulled my hands from the bindings he’d just freed me from. “Go.”

“No. The whole squad is out there.” He glanced down at Abe and swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. 

“I don’t care if the full, mighty weight of the United States Army is waiting on the other side of that tree line, you brought them here. You did this.” Resolve narrowed in his eyes, and I could see nothing said would move him. “Fine.” I threw my knee at just the right angle to knock him down. He blocked at the last second, but I was nowhere near finished. Dad taught me well and needed me now. I slammed my heel into his instep and followed quickly with an elbow to his nose. 

He caught my elbow before it made contact and spun me, wrapping his arms around me in a vice grip. A cry of pain ricocheted through the air. I wrestled in his grip. “Let me go.”

“It’s too late, and you don’t have the skills to fight my squad.” “If he’s breathing it’s not too late.” 

Zyaire tightened his grip.  “I can’t save you both.” 

A deeper cry, one that spoke of torture, sent me limp in his arms. “You have to.” Tears escaped down my cheeks. “Go!” I screamed. “Do something!”

“I am.” His teeth ground with resolve. He turned me and hauled me over his shoulder in one smooth move and dashed into the night with me pounding his back. I only stopped when my father cried out with a gurgle much like Abe’s. 

I would never forgive Zyaire. Never.