The Longest Nap

“Can you stop?!” I shouted. An incessant poking into my arm woke me up from the deepest nap I had had in years. I was seriously annoyed, especially after I had told my roommate to not wake me up unless we were being robbed or Arianna Grande was knocking on our door and asking for me. It had been a crazy few weeks of partying hard and still making it to every single class and turning in all my work. My dad had been on my case about me partying too much and I was trying to prove to him that I could do both and my grades wouldn’t suffer. OK maybe I wasn’t going to graduate valedictorian like he did but who the hell cares? I’ll be just as good a lawyer as he is, or better.

When I finally opened my eyes, a stranger’s face was peering back at me. She had a bag in her hand from a local sandwich place which she was offering to me. “Are you hungry?” she said. I looked at her and then at the bag and then at her again, unable to understand what was going on. “I’m sorry, who are you?” I said. “Oh, I was just having lunch with a friend and when I looked outside the window I saw you here and… it’s so cold. I thought maybe you’d appreciate some food… I got a ham and cheese and some chips and a bottle of water.” She said as she looked inside the bag checking that the contents of the bag were in fact what she just said. When I didn’t answer, she gently placed the bag on the floor in front of me, gave me a kind, sad look and waved with her hand while she mouthed “bye.”

I looked up and saw a busy street in front of me. I was dressed in the same clothes I had when I went to sleep except they now looked like I had been wearing them for months. They were old and they had holes in them. I was also wearing a coat I didn’t recognize. People walked up and down the street in front of me busying themselves with … Christmas shopping? No, that can’t be right. It was October when I went to sleep… Actually, I know exactly the day. It was October 30^th – I know because Sam and I were just talking about Halloween parties we were going to hit the next day. There were about 5 parties on campus that we wanted to go to, and we had just rated them in order of the possibility of hooking up with the hottest girls. Everything we did these days had the same purpose. If there wasn’t a possibility of us ending up with a hottie we wouldn’t bother.

I stumbled to my feet instantly regretting the decision. I was dizzy and “OMG what the hell is that smell?!” I said out loud. A few passersby looked at me while they wrinkled their nose and gave me a wide berth. The smell was coming from me. It was a putrid smell of body odor and old person’s clothes. I had never in my life smelled anything as terrible as … myself. I immediately realized how starving I was. I reached for the bag and started to walk down the street while I ate the sandwich that the kind lady had given me. As I ate and walked, I passed by storefronts with Christmas decorations and familiar Christmas tunes filtering from inside. I was walking in a haze and hoping that at some point I would remember what had happened to me. Nothing was making any sense. As soon as I finished my sandwich I looked a bit down the street and saw two policemen walking up towards me. I hurried towards them while I said “Oh! Thank God!! Officers. Please you need to help me.” They both looked at each other and then at me with resigned familiarity. “What’s going on Sam? We’ve asked you a thousand times to stop scaring everyone with your theatrics. C’mon, man, let’s move it along.” They said whilst they ushered me into one of the side streets. “No… what? I’m not Sam. What do you mean? I’ve never seen you guys in my life. My name is….” I reached to the back of my brain trying to retrieve the one piece of information that should be right at front but wasn’t. “My name is….” I said again… One of the officers said “I know man, it sucks but you need to move it along, ok? Get yourself to a shelter. It’s gonna be cold out here tonight.”

I looked at them in disbelief and shook my head. “I don’t need a shelter.” I said in a whisper. “I live in a dorm. In Yale….” I started to say while I desperately searched for my wallet, my phone, my keys…. Anything…. But nothing was there to be found. They cut me off again “Move it along now… c’mon….” while they ushered me further down the street. Then they turned around and continued their policing up and down the busy main street.

When I turned around, I was face to face with someone who looked vaguely familiar but not quite. He had the same eyes as me, but his face was drawn and sickly looking. He had tanned skin and lots of hair. It was the face of someone who had lived on the streets for a while. It took me about a minute to realize I was looking at myself in a mirror.  I started to cry but nobody around me seemed to care. I saw a couple crossing to the opposite side of the street to avoid getting close to me as they were walking up towards the busy street. A possy of 3 teenagers were coming up towards me, side by side, two of them flanking the third and most important one. One can tell in possies like this who was the leader. I knew because that had always been my role. As they walked pass me, they transformed into a single file, with the leader in the middle. Their conversation momentarily on hold, was quickly resumed after they passed me, and they went back into their original formation. I had only been a short break in their entertainment. Shortly lived and promptly forgotten.

I kept walking down the street trying to make sense of what was happening. I was sure my name was not Sam and yet I couldn’t remember my name… I was sure I was a Yale law student. My parents names were… Hmm… ok I didn’t remember my parents’ names but I was sure my dad was a big lawyer back home… There were so many gaps. What had happened? All I knew is that when I went to sleep was October 30^th and now it was definitely a few days before Christmas. I reached a park where more people that looked a lot like me were picking up their belongings and heading out onto the street. “It’s gonna be a cold one tonight. Better get to a shelter” someone said to me. I looked at them and decided to follow. I had to find my family but right now I needed a warm place to spend the night.

When I got to the shelter I chose a bed and lay down on it. I was tired and cold in a way I had never been before. Someone came and sat on the bed next to mine and offered me a half-eaten sandwich. I politely declined but thanked him profusely. Thoughts of the last dinner I had a Bruno’s came to mind. Huge plates of pasta with seafood that were sent back half enjoyed because I’ve never been a big eater and always thought the restaurants overfeed you. I looked around me and saw dozens of men filtering in from the streets. They were all quiet as they slowly made their way to their chosen bed. Some were young men like me, some had many years under their belts. Either way they all seemed grateful to be here, to have a warm bed for the night. At 5PM the doors closed despite shouts of desperation outside on the street. “We’re full” the person at the door kept saying. “Try St. Margaret’s.” After the doors closed, a bell rang and people started getting up and making their way to a different room. It was the dining room. By the time I got there some people had already sat down to enjoy their meal, probably their only one they would have had all day. The room had a few tables joined together which served as the serving area and the rest was filled with long tables with benches attached. I approached the serving area and got a bowl of soup and a plate with some bread, cheese, and a yoghourt. I found a space on one of the benches and sat down to eat. Most people were quiet. Some were having a discussion about what type of soup this was. If it was better than the one they served at St Margaret’s, or it was worse. Once they finished the food, they got up, put the plate and the bowl in a washbowl and headed over to their beds again. I followed suit.

Shortly after getting to my bed, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I remembered who I was. It was an overwhelming sensation and I cried for 10 minutes until I was told everyone had to evacuate the shelter as they had to get it ready for that night. As soon as I left, I went to a pay phone and I called my parents’ house collect. My mom was hysterical. They were both talking so loud and so fast I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying.  My dad suggested I’d get a taxi home, I had to remind him no taxi driver would let me get into their cars looking and smelling as I was. So, we arranged that I would walk to a hotel I remembered was close to where I was, I had stayed there a few times with my family. When I got there, I panicked thinking the hotel staff wouldn’t let me in, but my dad had called ahead, and they were expecting me. They showed me to a room, and I took the most amazing shower I had ever taken. When I got out, I realized I didn’t have any clothes to wear, so I just stayed on my robe watching TV making time for my parents to get there.

To this day I don’t remember what happened to me. The doctors couldn’t find anything conclusive in the myriad of tests they ran. Perhaps someone put drugs on my drink at the last party I had attended… I guess we’ll never know. How did I get from my cozy bed in the Yale campus to waking up lost and confused in 5^th Avenue almost two months later? How did I survive those 50 days I was gone? There was a huge gap in my memory which I think I doubt I’ll ever be able to fill. I sometimes wonder if there was a reason why I ended up where I did and was faced with a reality I knew nothing about. I have made it a priority in my life to help those in need. I now dedicate about 50% of my firm’s work to pro-bono work, I volunteer at homeless shelters whenever possible, and I speak to young people everywhere urging them to understand the importance of being vigilant when you’re out with your friends. Never take a drink from anyone you don’t know and always have a friend that knows where you are at all times.

I finished my speech and looked up at the audience comprised of high school kids. I had done many of these since it all happened. After answering a few questions from the audience, I went outside the building to wait for my ride but as I was about to get into the car, I looked across the street and saw a familiar face. A girl was walking down the street with a sandwich bag in her hand. She looked at me and I instantly recognized her, it was the girl that had woken me up that fateful day. We locked eyes for a few seconds, and she winked at me. I wanted to run after her, but I blinked, and she was gone.