Hello Brownie Old Friend

Brownie is her bear. His name is Brownie because when she got him, she was munching on stale brownie brittle and the crumbs got all over his soft, brown nose. It was love at first sight, since that day Brownie and her were inseparable. They would do everything together from going to swim class and accidentally dropping him into the pool to the grocery store where they would get to ride in one of those cool shopping carts that look like a toy car. In the summer they would sit down on the porch and she would get a strawberry ice cream cone that she'd share with him. In the winter they would build snow forts together and sip on hot chocolate with marshmallows, wrapped in a fuzzy, white blanket on the couch. They were a team, always.

She was shy and had trouble making friends because she stayed quiet and introverted in Preschool. The only one she confided her secrets, worries and dreams in was Brownie. At first, she’d take him with her, sit in one corner of the room with a puzzle or drawing book, the little brown bear always by her side, his black eyes watching her, protecting her. They’d eat lunch together, play in the sandbox together, he’d even be in her yearbook picture, cradled in her small arms, her eyes full of innocence. 

Then came Kindergarten and it was all over. On her fist day she tried to take Brownie with her, but her mother just scowled and explained “You’re to old to take your teddy bear with you!”

She strongly disagreed and with a heavy heart sat him down on the couch, propping the pillows up to make sure he was nice and comfortable.

“I’ll be back.” She muttered into his furry ear, hugged him one more time and ran to her mother who was impatiently waiting at the door writing to one of her many clients, her brows furrowed, fingers nervously clicking, oblivious to the little girl putting her shoes on, tears running down her cheek at the sight of Brownie starring at her, his eyes screaming “Don’t leave me!”. 

Kindergarten was incredibly lonely without her companion; she’d dread recess and lunch now that there was no one to go down the blue slide or share her sandwich with. When the bigger boys bullied her there was no one to protect her from them throwing sand in her face or calling her names. She’d sit by the window every afternoon and almost cry with relief when she saw her mother’s car because that meant she could finally go home again, home to Brownie.

As soon as her mother unlocked the door, she’d throw down her backpack, run straight to her room, lay down on her bed, kicking her purple sketchers sneakers that glowed when she walked off and wriggle around on her favorite pink “Disney Princess” covers until she was comfortable. Then, she’d grab Brownie and whisper into his soft, smelly fur that whiffed like home, and it would make her feel better immediately. Brownie was a great listener; he’d agree with everything she’d say and let her know that he was always on her side.

As she got older Brownie was forgotten. She started to make friends, redecorate her room and became embarrassed of the fact that she still had a stuffy to sleep with. By the time she was 11 and they moved to a bigger house in the suburbs Brownie disappeared into a stuffy moving box not to be seen again for a very long time.

Two decades later she was back in that house again, helping her mother clean out so it could be ready to be sold. She was rummaging around in a box full of her old things trying to decide what to keep and what to throw out when she came across a dirty, old Teddy bear with round, black eyes and smelly brown fur. Memories came flooding back to her in a tidal wave and she stood there holding the bear the same way she had over 20 years ago and suddenly she got an idea.

On the drive home Brownie sat on the passenger seat and when she opened the door to the nursery carrying him, she could immediately hear little baby Elsie scream. Walking up to her crib she gently dropped Brownie into the little girl’s arms. Elsie stopped crying to examine this curious, new toy and you could practically see her face light up. She held Brownie tight in her arms and fell asleep the teddy looking at her, already protecting his new owner.

Now she’s an old lady living alone in her small apartment on the outskirts of town, her husband passed away and her children have long moved out. She's loosing her memory slowly, she knows it. Every so often she forgets to do something or can't remember where she left her things. When she tries to recollect her old memories they end up fuzzy in her brain, images that are cloudy and hard to make out. Usually everything is quiet in her little, homy apartment, a silence that can be peaceful but is mostly just depressing for her. But today is different because suddenly there’s a loud knock on the door. No one normally comes to visit her, except for her kids who always tell her in advance. Curiously she gets up and breathing hard goes to open the door. Standing in the doorway is her daughter Elsie and in her lap is a little boy with stunning green eyes clutching a worn-out teddy bear. No matter how much she forgets, or how much of her past gets lost in her head, she knows that she will always remember him. Her best friend from the start, her daughters best friend and now her grandsons. She need only look at the bear and random images would pop back into her head. Memories would come flying back to her. She steps up to hug the little boy and gently whispers into the bears scratchy, scruffy fur.

“Hello Brownie, old friend.”