"Someday We'll Walk Together in the Raysof the Beautiful Sun"

“Someday We’ll Walk Together in the Rays of the Beautiful Sun”

In the fading sunlight, I could hear birds calling to each other as if they were signaling that it was time for me to go home. But, I didn’t want to go home. I knew he would be there sitting on the couch acting as if he isn’t sitting there waiting for me to come in the door, daring me to come in after the clock struck 6:05pm. It takes me exactly 45 minutes at the most to get home from work and I bet not step in that door a minute after 6:05pm, 6:06pm and I was sure to get knocked the hell out. 

How long am I going to let this go on before I let my family that he was abusing me behind closed doors? Everybody just loved him and thought he was the best husband, father and provider, the provider part is all they really see. The nice car, house, furniture, clothes, hair and makeup, shoes, everything on point all the time. How do I explain to my mom that I’ve been allowing him to do this to me when she made me promise to never allow this from a man because of the past she had to endure? I saw it for myself, I don’t know how I let things get this far but I’ve got to find a way out. Now!!

That’s what Elisa has been worried about all day at work. What is she going to do? Come clean to mama before Junior finds out. Junior, Elisa’s little brother who idolizes his big sister. She got out of the hood and became the family’s savior and he was a thug to his very soul, him and his gang of loyal buddies from high school. Oh my goodness I don’t even want to think about how that would play out. Junior would kill Stan’s ass with his bare hands and think nothing of it. He never really trusted or liked Stan anyway but he never really approves of anyone when it comes to being good enough for his big sister. He would be suspicious of him believing he sould be using me for my money and status. Oh my goodness, I’ve been trying so hard not to let him know because I don’t want him to mess his life up over Stan’s ignorance, insecurities and control issues. I think mom and dad are just as suspicious too, so I guess it wouldn’t be a surprise to any of them accept for the fact that I would finally be admitting it. 

As I walked across the parking lot of my job to my car I made the decision to leave his ass. I got a glimpse of my reflection in the car window as I got to the car door. I just now noticed the right side of my face was bigger and darker than the other and the makeup had worn off. I was so embarrassed at the thought the whole office had to have known and never said a word. Now I know why Angie asked me if I needed her to leave her shift early to talk. I told her I had to get home as I always did when invited out after work. Everyone must be gossiping about my face and the apparent bruises on my face. OMG, now I can’t go to moms house they would immediately know and there would be no stopping Junior if he was home, still living with the folks, claiming to be there for them when his behind just couldn’t or wouldn’t keep a job long enough to have his own stable housing. I’ve got to go home to that fool again but maybe I could call and makeup a reason why Della could stop by the school and pick up the kids and I would stay with her for a few days until the swelling went down. I believe I can convince her not to tell anyone in the family before then and she could help me figure out a way to tell Junior without him going completely ballistic. 

Wow, I can’t believe this is my life now. Not me the one with the college degree and the good job working in accounting for the metro bus system. All those great guys around with good jobs and probably better security within themselves and not a controlling nutcase with issues about his wife’s success. That’s what Della would tell me when we did talk on the phone, when he allowed me to talk on the phone without creating a scene while she was on the other line but it also would make up some shit so he could demand that I get off the phone and deal with whatever crisis he made up to get me off the phone. For some reason Della was the only person he let me talk to even if it was only a couple of minutes. 

As I’m turning the corner a few blocks before I turn for the highway to my neighborhood. My job was in my parent’s neighborhood and I needed to get on the highway before I ran into Junior or one of his friends. Aw nawl, there is Darrell Langston, one of Jrs. Friends and a old school mate of mines who had dropped out of school and was heavy in the game of the street life. Lawd, wasn’t I just praying not to run into one of them. Why?? What am I going to say, my sunglasses weren’t covering up my face enough and here he comes running and shouting out my name as I stood at the red light entrance ramp. There was nothing I could do to stop it. 

Damn Girl!!!! What happened to you?? Aw hell nawl, wait ‘til I let Jr. know he gone kick that dude’s ass. Wait, wait Darrell, don’t call him please. Yeah you right he going to go straight to jail if he goes over there clowning with him. Just give me a few days to let my family know and make arrangements to get my kids. You know he might run with my babies. Please, Darrell, hang up the phone, now please!!

It ain’t Junior you gotta worry about it’s me. You know you and me should ‘ve been together with me I’m that same guy who fell for you in high school. I always regretted dropping out of school but you know why. But, I knew Stan’s ass wasn’t good enough for you, that dude only went after you when he knew I was out the way. Well I been back now for over a year now and I’m doing good, but I will take care of that dude, trust, I got you. 

No, Darrell, I really don’t want you to get involved he will go crazy if he even knew I talked to you. Oh yeah, so that’s how it is now with dude. Where yo kids at??? Darrell stay outta this please?? Are your kids at home with that dude??? No, but I still don’t want you to confront him either. You just said you have only been home for a year. You would be more at risk than Junior if you went over there. He’s not worth it, your lives. He ain’t worth yours either. Elisa I’m telling you don’t go home and make sure your kids ain’t there either. I got to go, Junior and them already on their way to your spot. I let him know what time it was already. Soon as I saw your face. I noticed your car from way across the street from the gas station pumping my gas and I could see your face. Don’t even try to stop us. Because now I know this been going on for a while. You don’t even know how to leave this dude. But I tell you what you don’t have to make that decision no more. Go get your kids and go to your momma house. We got this.

Elisa, I know I still got a way to go but thinking about you while I was locked up was the only dream that kept me alive and sane. Making me want to get up every morning and go to the library to get my GED, just so I could show you how committed I can be to making myself a better man for you. Dreaming about opening myself up to life again walking the straight and narrow, at least it was an opportunity that I could have you in my life even as friends just so you could be in my life in some capacity. Because that’s how much you mean to me.  I have been working two jobs trying to catch up and make a way for myself out of the game and off the streets like you told me that time when I last saw you before that incident. We ran into each other at the high school homecoming football game. Elisa that’s all I had was that dream of you. I knew that dude was going to make a play for you. He knew how much I cared for you way back then. I was so pissed when I found out you and him hooked up. I let it go for so long because I thought he was doing right by you and those kids. I was still in the game and I didn’t want to bring you down so I didn’t try to chase you down or anything but you know you too good for some dude to be putting his hands on you. I’m going to make sure he knows what it feels like and he knows not to ever come at you like this EVER again. That dream, my dream was that, “Someday I would be good enough to, Walk together hand and hand with you in the Beautiful Sun”! Something to cling to in hopes that they would let me go and I would do everything in my power to be the kind of man that someone like you could want in their life. I want get into any trouble over this dude trust me. But I am going to get you out of this situation today!!!

: To Be Continued: