Who's the Friend?

Jack

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“Geez, Karen, when you said your party was going to be killer, I didn’t think you meant it literally.” 

“Well, Jack, I’m sorry I didn’t warn you that an actual dead body would make an appearance tonight.”

“What are we going to do?” the Witch shrieked. Lisa’s voice was as grating as the first day I heard it back in high school; befitting her Halloween costume choice... and personality. At that moment I decided to rename her as such: the Witch. 

“You found him,” the Witch pointed at Tim, “get rid of it!”

Tim, who was already in full-blown panic mode, widened his eyes more than I thought possible. He had an elaborate zombie prosthetic on his face which made his expressions more gruesome; at the rate he was freaking out, he was doing a brilliant job of embodying his costume. I applauded him in my mind and renamed him Frankie. Short for Frankenstein (I am aware that is the creator, not the monster, but Tim was pretty book-smart so it fits. Plus, this is my narrative, so I’ll name as I please.) 

In this case, Frankie didn’t appear very book-smart. He couldn’t get a word out of his mouth on the account of his heavy gasping, and I’m sure a vein on his forehead was about to burst. Or perhaps that was the prosthetic. 

“He’s not doing it alone,” Derek stepped up. Despite his size, Derek was more of a gentle giant than a smash-happy mutant. I was hoping he’d turned up as The Hulk, but here he was, dressed as a donut. It was a disappointment, so I’ve named him as per his disappointing dessert counterpart: Dunkin’ Donuts. 

“Yes, together, we need to do this, together,” Karen was going off her rocker, I could practically see sparks coming out of her bimbo wig. I faintly recall her explaining herself to be Marilyn Monroe, but it could be another ditz she was emulating. ‘Ditz’ seemed apt. 

In any case, renaming these fools did not fuel my patience as I thought it would; I wasn’t going to let myself be dragged into a hullabaloo that will see me ending up in jail - once was enough. 

“Adios, amigos. This was fun. Now I’m outta here.” I got up and headed for the exit, but before I even made two steps, Dunkin’ loomed in front of me. 

“You’re not going anywhere, buddy.” Dunkin’ said. 

I contemplated taking him down. Sure, he was a good foot taller than me, and I was a solid 6’... fine, 5’ 7, but if I punctured his donut, I could make a run for it. 

“No one is leaving,” Kira stepped in between Dunkin’ and I, pointing her black-clawed finger at me. “Especially you.” 

Ah, Kira, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? If a summer’s day was a manifestation of a beautiful woman who ripped out my heart, shattered it, lit the pieces of fire, and then lit the ashes on fire, and then lit the surrounding area on fire just for kicks - then yes, she was my summer’s day. Also irresistibly dressed as my favorite character, Catwoman. 

I sighed and went back to my seat. “Only cause you begged me to stay.”

I could practically hear her eyes roll. “I did not beg.”

“We need a plan.” 

Dunkin' / Derek

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The bedroom was getting stuffy. My clothes were soaking wet underneath this plastic donut get-up. Why did I choose this ridiculous outfit? I wanted to rip it off, but I was only wearing boxers. 

I wanted to smack myself for stopping Jack. I wanted to follow him. Get out of here. Get out of this bloody costume. Get an actual donut. Hmm... Dunkin’ Donuts...

But no, I had to stay. It was the right thing to do. I was the only man here (Tim was as useful as a wet sock, and Jack wore skinny jeans too often, like right now. What was he dressed as, anyway? An aneroxic model? One squat would rip his trousers right apart.) I had to step up for the ladies. Be chivalrous, and all that. Girls like that, right? I should say ‘me too’ at some point. 

“We know that Tim was the first one to find Pete,” Kira paced the length of the bedroom, which wasn’t much to walk across with 6 people packed in here and my costume taking up most of it. 

Kira turned to Tim. “Tell us again what happened.”

Tim stammered, his face drenched with sweat. “I-I-I--“ 

He started shivering and Kira went over to sit next to him, putting her arms around his shoulders. 

“It’s okay, Tim, we’re not accusing you.” Kira said gently. 

“Um, yes we are,” Lisa said. “It’s the only explanation! He was the only one in the room with him! How else did you think it happened? Pete conveniently fell onto the knife directed at his eyeball?” 

Kira flashed a warning stare at Lisa, which was blatantly ignored. 

Kira returned her attention to Tim, putting her arms around him. “Breathe… and tell us what happened.”

Frankie the Monster not the Creator / Tim 

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Internalized screaming.

Ditz / Karen

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All I could hear were the sounds of wailing and a continuous string of gibberish; I wanted to scream at it to shut up, but then I realized it was coming from me. 

This was not how the night was supposed to be; we were supposed to have fun, we were supposed to follow the schedule, we were--

“This is a bloody waste of time,” Jack said, becoming more agitated by the second, “Forget about how it happened. It happened. End of story. Either we do something about the body, or preferably, we all scram.”

I lit up at the latter suggestion. “Yes! Let’s leave before anyone finds us.”

“Karen, this is your house.” Kira said, pinching her nose bridge in exasperation. 

I mulled over that. 

“Exactly! It’s her house,” Lisa said, “Let’s leave her here.”

That broke me out of my reverie. “No! Together!” 

Kira stood up and said, “Enough! We are doing this together. Like it or not, we’re already accomplices by default. We were the only 6 people here tonight, so one of us is guilty.”

The room fell silent. 

Kira continued, “So unless someone wants to volunteer and surrender themselves to the cops, we’re dumping the body. Together.” 

No one said a word, which Kira took as our assent. 

“Oh!” I raised my hand. “The cops! We could call the cops! They’ll take care of it.”

Kira’s hand returned to pinch her nose bridge. 

Summer's Day of Fiery Heartbreak / Kira

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I was very close to stabbing everyone else in this room. 

I took a deep breath, muttered a random yoga phrase to myself that sounded calming ("Savasana...") and began handing out instructions. 

I had Karen bring us all the linen she had to cover up the body, and I told Jack and Lisa wrap up the body - Jack was reluctant but caved in, of course; but Lisa was more vocal about her reluctance. I would have Savasana-ed her face with my fist had Derek not enthusiastically offered "me too!" to helping them out, an offer which seemed to placate Lisa. 

I continued on my efforts to calm Tim down and was interrupted with a question from Karen. 

"Hey, how come you're not doing the dirty work?"

Lisa heard this and agreed. "Yeah, why do you get to boss us around?" 

I gestured at Tim, who was drooling all over my leather pants while biting his nails aggressively. "Do any of you want to be taking care of this instead?"

All of them resumed their assigned tasks. 

Frankie the Monster not the Creator / Tim 

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Internalized screaming continues. 

The Witch / Lisa

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Worst. Party. Ever. 

Evidently, I didn’t want any part of this. I only stayed because I wanted to make sure they didn’t turn around and backstab me, blaming me for this. 

I almost puked like ten times while wrapping the body. I was trying my best to preserve the sanctity of my perfectly manicured fingers, which seemed to bother Jack quite a lot. 

“Could you get a move on, we don’t exactly have all night, princess.”

I clucked my tongue at him. “These beauties cost more than your monthly paycheck, Jacky.”

“I’m sure your hands did most of the work for that pay. And don’t call me that.”

“Oh, Jacky-boo’s upset; there, there, why don’t you get Kira to hug you too.”

“Come on, guys,” Derek said, tying up the final sheet around the body. “Time to move this.”

Since none of these fools (I say that endearingly) had a better idea (Karen wanted to dump the body in the bin outside her house, Derek suggested to lay him outside a hospital, Karen said to chop him up and feed it to stray dogs (ew), and Jack... well, Jack just wanted to leave the whole time), I suggested we hauled this body onto daddy’s yacht, sail as far as we possibly can, and dump the body into the sea. 

Everyone looked surprised that my idea was actually, you know, feasible. But then some of those looks turned suspicious. 

I rolled my eyes. “Calm down. I like crime shows, okay?” 

We stuffed up the body with Karen’s antiqued ornaments to weigh the body down into the water, much to her dismay. We then waited until it was late in the night before we made a move. Four of us carried the body while Kira lead Tim out while surveying the area, signaling us when it was safe to make a dash towards Derek’s truck. 

It was surprisingly an easy move to the truck; Karen’s affluent street was mostly quiet, given it was a drunkard’s excuse for a holiday. The drive to the jetty was quiet, save for Tim’s outbursts of incoherent letters (I... s... I... sa...). He was dangerously close to slobbering all over me, so I stuffed a handkerchief in his mouth, which Kira promptly removed. 

Ditz / Karen 

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Once we threw the body overboard the six of us stood in silence; the only sound being the waves crashing against the yacht.

“I’m going to get a drink.” Jack said as he walked towards the steps leading to the lower deck. 

Lisa called out to him. “Celebratory drink?” 

Jack stopped in his tracks. “What?” 

“Job done, right?” Lisa said. “Pour your buddies here a round, will you? We helped you move a body after all.” 

Jack turned to face us all, his face boiling red. “What are you implying?”

Lisa walked up to him, squaring off. “I know what you did.” 

Jack was livid. “You think I’m the killer?“

“Oh, I know you are,” Lisa went on, “You were going to bolt at every moment you could, like the coward you are, ever since we were kids.” 

“Me? If anyone’s suspicious it’s Karen!” 

I shrunk back. 

“Karen’s the one who organized this whole thing. She invited us. She invited Pete. Heck, before tonight I had no idea who Pete was.”

“I didn’t invite Pete,” I muttered, to which nobody responded. 

“If anyone’s suspicious,” Derek said, “It’s Kira. She’s been leading us the whole night, coming up with solutions for every bump in the road we had.”

Karen let out a sardonic laugh. “If it wasn’t for me, all of you would have been behind bars by now! I saved all you!” 

All of them began bickering, yelling over each other, each voice getting louder over the last. I was feeling overwhelmed, so I ducked backwards and sat down beside Tim, who also looked distraught by the blame-game. 

“Who do you think did it, Tim?” I asked quietly. 

Tim looked at me with wild eyes and slowly opened his mouth. 

Summer's Day of Fiery Heartbreak / Kira

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“Enough!” I screamed. “What’s done is done. We’re all tired. Let’s just get back to shore.” 

“Oh, sure, let’s just forget that you killed someone.” Lisa was the one accusing me now. Throughout the argument we had lost track on who we were initially blaming and started attacking whoever we could get a jab at.

I ignored her and stomped towards the lower deck. They were calling me back, but I couldn’t care less at the point. I wanted to be alone, and this was the only place available on this yacht. 

It was dark at the bottom, save for the slight ray of moonlight shining through the small portholes on the walls. I could make out the shape of the fridge and made my way over, desperately in need of any beverage that could numb my exploding head. I navigated over by feeling the edge of the countertop and was about to reach the handle of the fridge when a sudden vibration by my hand startled me. 

It was a mobile phone, and the screen lit up with an incoming message. I had no intention of snooping around, but it was hard to ignore the glaring message that was on display. 

Is it done yet? 

My heart sank. That was a very strange message to be receiving at this hour. My suspicions were nagging at me, so I swiped up on the phone. I scrolled up the message thread and my suspicions turned into horror as the truth struck me.

Tonight. He’s as good as dead.

11.00 pm 

Is it done yet?

4.15 am

The floorboard creaked behind me, and I spun around. Before I could let out a scream, the glint of a waving blade and a threatening smirk stopped me short. 

“Ah, I think we all know what happens to the cat who got a little too curious, now, don’t we?” 

I was frozen. I couldn’t see the killer, but the voice was unmistakable.

“Shame. You could have gotten away with it, I wasn’t going to pin it on you. I did like you the most.” 

From above the deck, Tim’s voice belted out word-by-word: “I. Saw. The. Killer!” 

I let out a cry for help, and the last thing I could remember was the figure in the shadows lunging at me, knife first.