Dear Rosie

"Dear Ethan

I felt the cold brush against my back, my hand swiped behind me across the silk sheets. The tingle of the still air filtering through my fingers was enough to confirm my dreadful worry yet. It’s been three years now. You left without notice, and my heart without solace. Each moment away from you tears my muscles into confetti.

Your electric touch to my body, your smooth caress, Oh God, why did you have to punish me. It was that unbelievable gaze you gave that crippled me as I drowned in those great green eyes. The tickle of your stubborn hairs on your face, the firm physique.

Was it my insecurities? Was I not enough? The confusion is painful and slowly pushing me to the psychiatry. Yet again with your standards, maybe models with flat tummies, glistening skins and a calculated statuesque were just enough to stir your mysterious aura. 

Oh Ethan let me know how to get you back. It’s been ten times already writing the exact same letter but when I get to this point the paper is sodden and damp. Today I broke out of my shell. I could not hold back anything. I need you.

Rosie”

***

“Dear Rosie

I loved every minute we spent together. The steamy passion deep into the night. Coming home from work to a well cooked meal, someone I could talk to whenever I wanted and needed to. This was priceless.

I donno, I just felt the spark of excitement thinning. Like I woke up with my taste buds blunt and everything tasted like wax. What am I bringing to the relationship? It’s a question that keeps me wide awake every night. I figured if I continued down this path I would’ve been torn apart and you would be completely wiped off from reason.

It’s me not you. You’re a great person believe me. I just think I need a break to discover myself. A lot has happened and I need to process. We fell into a relationship so fast I didn’t get a chance to blink. The constant thought of things going wrong clung onto me like a curse.

Ethan”

***

“Dear Yvette 

Hi friend how are you. Nothing unusual this side just my life falling apart. Took your advice, I am afraid it backfired. Now I look desperate. At thirty-four I imagined stretch marks over a tattered saggy belly, the early hustle and bustle scrambling over breakfast cereal, lunch packs and incessant squabbles breaking all over the house. A man taking care of me but no.

Thank you friend. A stuck up missy I was, uptight I was, oh yes I guess I had to listen to you to mess everything up. You have everything that I ever wished for now and acid runs through my eyes every time I look myself in the mirror. Thank you so much Yvette.

Carl came along, tall spindly body and huge glasses barely holding by the almost squashed nose. “Way out of your league” you said. “Those yellow teeth could eat you alive” you said. Can I ever thank you enough friend? Oh I almost forgot, I was going to be the star with all the hunks yearning after me, the world at my feet.

The only exception however, I feel buried under the weight of my misery, the world has plunged me six feet under and the idea of me to men makes their guts coil with disgust.

Thank you friend.

Rosie”

***

“Dear Rosie

For a minute my blood ran cold. How could you? After all I have done for you. Haven’t I been supportive enough? I had to sit for your sob stories and imprint them in my mind time and again. Long calls that stretched the entire night and yet I remain the villain. I put my life on hold yet you have the guts to blame me for everything that is going wrong in your life.

Yvette this, Yvette that like I was your child but I said nothing yet I am the monster. Grow up Rosie, if you find the time to, please make an effort. Stop this ridiculous blame game. I don’t recall controlling your mind. You had to make your own choices. But, how could you possibly do it with a peanut sized brain.

You constantly knocked my door for everything. You were a validation seeking prick always worried about what the next person thought of you. Yes, there was Carl, a “man” but have you thought about what could’ve happened had both of you fallen into one net? Yeah give it some thought. I know you would’ve wanted me to play God and try to fix him to meet your fancy. You can deny all you want but I know damn too well you always depend on me for the most basic stuff.

I am not your mother for heaven’s sake. You’re a grown ass woman. I think it’s high time you gave maturity a chance. The blame game is really low even for you. For all I care you can go to hell. Don’t you dare ever make contact. I’m done.

Yvette”

***

“Dear Rosie

The heavy ice flakes gently fall from the sky to carpet the earth with an incredible white. I peak through the window to see the cold mist slowly stir into the air. I begin to shiver under a sheath of wool. My thoughts drift to you and snap, it’s a golden glare and I feel like running barefoot on the pavement.

I start shaking again this time it’s the audacity to even think of you that knocks my bones. You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me but, my heart never stopped bleeding for you.

I am not much but I think a bullet can hold back within me before laying a scratch on your skin.

Even as a cripple I would take a stand for you and run a thousand miles.

I will take flight for you despite having no wings.

In the unrelenting darkness, amidst beasts and all odds I would got to the end of the earth just to see you smile. You will always remain a figure of my imagination, a part of my heart. I guess it was all a fairytale, never meant to be real. I always close my eyes and indulge in the fairytale, the most beautiful part of my life.

Carl."

***

“Dear Carl

Hey I hope you’re doing well wherever you are. My pen feels heavier with each letter. It is right at this point that I wish I could turn back time. I would like to go back to give you a chance. You may be wondering why not now.

If we had to meet your blood would curdle. Yes, life has done a number on me and I owe it to bad life choices. If I had known better, things could be different somehow. I have lost touch with everything now. 

Your words drew an ocean from my eyes. I felt my heart ache for hurting your feelings earlier in college. You deserve better and you deserve to be happy. I would like you to open your eyes now and forget that fairytale, it’s toxic. Open up your eyes and without a doubt I am sure you will experience a better fantasy. 

I am sorry for everything and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me Carl. I will just continue with this life and face everything that’s coming my way.

Rosie.”