Sex Ed

           It's been called a lot of things:  Health 101, Physical Education, Anatomy and Physicology, “the adult class” like something we used to have to get a permission slip for in high school. But, this isn't high school, it is what it is. We don't care if you're straight, gay, bi, trans, or whatever you are as long as you're over eighteen and yes, we need proof. But, this is where the text books become three-dimensional. Happy hour or happy semester; take your pick. Some of the students call it art 101, since the models get paid, but there's no intercourse, ever. Legal reasons. So, the first thing we do is have all the students medically wash their hands. Maybe the reader doesn't know what that means. Turn the hot water on, spread the fingers, wash between the fingers, wash the back of the hand, wash underneath the fingernails, and wash the wrists. Turn off the faucet with a paper towel and dry the hands with a paper towel. This is important since bad bacteria can grow in some areas and we don't want an infection. 

           See, most students have read the biology books which show a side view, many of them have watched pornography, but pornography raises more questions than it answers like, why does this woman keep taking her dildo out, putting it up, and then putting it back inside of herself? Those kinds of questions. So, men are going to get to tour themselves and women are going to get to tour themselves. Then, in a platonic way, men can explore and understand female anatomy and women can understand male anatomy, for educational purposes. They also try to describle things to each other like what child birth feels like, what menstruation feels like, what a male erection feels like, how to know when a woman is aroused instead of lying to you. What gets erect, when, and how? Those kind of questions. The stuff we always wanted to ask our sex education teacher, but were too young or scared to ask and here, we don't need a permission slip. How do tampons/pads work? Those kinds of questions. 

           The things we started to understand when we talked and touched each other is that the porno was bullshit. Vaginas aren't perfect. Women experience dryness, men have erectile dysfunction, jock itch, enlarged prostates, but this is reality unncensored. Penises aren't perfect either. Men can't always keep it up or we think we ejaculate too soon or too late. We look at how large the men are in porno and we're not large and we think women want someone who is and women think men want women with nipples that haven't drooped, who are wet and horny, shaved, etc. but that's not real life. There are hair follicle infections, yeast infections, jock itch, and a lot of other conditions. Sometimes people have accidents during intercourse and there's urine or feces and that's normal. Muscles cramp, there's acid reflux, there's sleepiness, and other things. But, this is educational and purely educational. What we do after the class is up to us, but we don't tend to talk about it. This isn't a party, it's education. It's seeing the feces on the thongs and realizing that's normal. 

           What keeps the penises attached? What keeps the breasts attached? What's where in there? That's what this is about and it's about stretching the boundaries or acceptablitity. We're all adults here and respect if we go too far with someone. Things happen in real life like the kid knocking on the door, the dog barking at a squirrel outside, the fucking phone ringing (don't answer it), the watch telling us we got an e-mail. 

           But, then, after a few weeks of doing this, it becomes boring. It's like repeating the same grade in school over and over. The men know where the women's stuff is, the men know where the men's stuff is, the women know where the women's stuff is, and the women know where the men's stuff is. And there's nothing else to learn, so we welcome a new set of students and then another set of students, and it's redundant.  

           But, at adult stores, there are books about how to make sex exciting again, adult games, adult videos, but it all becomes boring in comparison to the class. Some say pornography can become an addiction, but now it's a bore. We could try drugs like sextacy, but then sex off the drug would be boring, too. It's a rut. Wake up, make coffee, fry eggs and bacon, eat, wash up, shower, dress for work, go to work, have lunch, go back to work, clock out, go home, make or eat dinner, help kids with homework, fuck, and go to sleep, but fucking becomes synonymous with brushing my teeth. It's just something I do as part of my daily routine to get through the day. It's not fun anymore. 

           I look at different porn on the web: dwarf porn, race porn, lesbian porn, gay porn, lap dances, sex, DMSM, amputation porn, everything, and it's not doing it for me anymore. I try reading erotica, YA fiction, radio shows about sex, but it's boring. It's like waiting your whole life to get to the Olympics, getting to the Olympics, winning the Olympics, and having no idea what to do afterwards since you've spent your whole life training to be in the Olympics. Now what? 

           Or the high school kid who submits applications to 14 colleges and isn't accepted into any of them.  Now what? Community College? You've gone to the book stores and gone to the self-help section and read all of the books. Loving yourself is the answer, think prosperity, forgive everyone, control your part of the relationship, etc. Sometimes during the meditations, which are on CD, I wish I could stay in the meditations instead of coming back to reality. Remember, It's a Wonderful Life? It must matter. But for what? Focus less on the ass and more on the grass. Food is a great pleasure, but it only lasts a while. There's a trillion things to do, because there's nothing to do. It's a rutt: birth, puberty, reproduce, get old, die, let your offspring do the same thing. It's a rutt. 

           Or maybe the answer is there's no answer, like what's zero to the zero'th power, you know? Or if we go to Spirit when we die, where were we before we were born? Things like that that no one talks about. The couple married for twenty years who both are bored with sex. Maybe there's no answer and God is a practical joker.