When The Curtain Falls

“I got it! I got Helena!” My best friend squealed, looking at the newly released cast list for our school’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream production. “This is going to be the best production West Brook has ever put on!” I squeezed my way past the crowd that had formed around the list, to get a closer list. I followed the names all the way to the bottom, where mine was listed under stage crew. I knew Gia would be disappointed, but it was better for everyone this way. I didn’t like the spotlight and Gia, well, she doesn’t exactly like sharing the spotlight. Gia tore her eyes away from her name and noticed me staring at my own name.

“Are you okay, Leilani?" Gia asked sympathetically. "I know you wanted Hermia.”

“Yeah, stage crew is better suited for me. You were the one who wanted me to run lines with you and audition for Hermia in the first place,” I replied, pointedly. Hopefully with me on stage crew, I could avoid hours spent each night, running through lines with her.

“Oh! Jade’s playing Lysander! I thought he was auditioning for Demetrius, but he’ll be a good Lysander too,” Gia rambled on, wasting no time dissecting the cast list and who she thought was fit for each role. Theater was one of her passions and I loved hearing her talk so excitedly about it. 

Stage crew wasn’t required to attend rehearsals for the first few weeks, but I still somehow got roped into running lines with Gia. When I first arrived at rehearsal everything seemed to be going well. Most people were still reading from the scripts, but it wasn’t anything to worry about since there were still six weeks left before opening night. The first night I was there, stage crew just watched the actors and made notes of what props would be used when and when certain set pieces needed to go out. 

In between acts, Gia came bounding toward me. “How did I do? I can almost do all of my lines without the script! It’s all thanks to your help, Leilei.” I never really liked when she called me that. I’d have much rather liked it if she just called me Leilani in full.

“Leilei?” A tall boy chuckled, approaching us. Jade Koskinen, a junior like Gia and I. He was really talented when it came to acting, and at the top of our class when it came to academics. Admittedly, I liked him, but Gia had already declared her attraction to him to me, so for the sake of not wanting to start anything with my best friend, he was off-limits.

“It’s just a nickname,” I explained hastily.

“I know. I wasn’t making fun,” Jade reassured me. “It sounds kinda cute though, Leilei.” Even though I didn’t like the name, his saying that made my face flush. I was so thankful at that moment, for the theater being dark. 

“Just Leila or Leilani is fine,” I squeaked out, trying to ignore his comment.

“Alright then, Leilani,” he smiled. “I’ll leave you guys to it. See you later.” He started walking past us, but Gia stopped him. 

“I can’t believe you’re already off-book!” She gushed. Jade shrugged and explained that he’d done the show before. “Do you want to come over to my house sometime and help me run lines?”

“Maybe, I’ll have to check my schedule; see when I’m free,” his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“That wasn’t a no,” I offered when he was out of earshot. “I’d be careful though. When actors date other actors, it usually doesn’t end well. Conflicting opinions and unwillingness to share the spotlight.”

“This could be different,” Gia whined, longingly glancing at Jade from across the auditorium. I gave her a shrug that read “Do whatever you want” as she and the rest of the cast were called up on stage for notes.

The next few weeks went by in a blur and A Midsummer Night’s Dream was looking more and more put together. Almost all of the actors were off-book by now and the set pieces were almost finished. As Gia hung out with her theater friends more, she stopped asking me to run lines with her, which quite honestly felt bittersweet. More and more she would halt our conversations and go talk to her theater friends every chance she got.

“I’m going to try to talk to him now,” she excitedly told me for the fourth time that rehearsal. “Him” obviously meant Jade. We were sitting on the stage during break, eyeing Jade engaged in lively conversation with the kids playing Theseus, Hippolyta, and Demetrius.

“Yeah, sure go ahead,” I said as if I was giving her permission to do so, but I replied with more annoyance than intended.

“What’s your problem?”

“Nothing, it just feels like you keep ignoring me to go talk to some boy when you’re the one who wanted me here in the first place.”

“Are you jealous or something? There’s nothing stopping you from coming with me, and what, am I not allowed to talk to anyone but you?” No matter what I said, she would find a way to twist my words in her favor.

“That’s not what I–just forget it.” I held my tongue, not wanting to make the next few weeks hell by starting something with her. Rolling my eyes once out of view, I got up and followed her to the group of actors.

“All I’m saying is that if Hermia wasn’t so obsessed with getting Demetrius, none of them would be in that situation,” Hippolyta argued to Jade and the others as we came up to them.

“But Egeus was hellbent on Hermia marrying Demetrius, which prompted her and Lysander to run away–oh!” Jade exclaimed in the midst of arguing back with the girl playing Hippolyta. “Hello, Gia…and Leilani! You never come by us during breaks with Gia. One might think you don’t like us.” I laughed at his suggestion. It was hard not to like Jade with how approachable he was and how he lit the room like a lightbulb wherever he went.

“I just don’t know you that much. I didn’t want to intrude,” I explained, trying to find a way out of the conversation. All eyes were on me now and being the center of attention was anxiety-inducing.

“Good to know I haven’t made any enemies, but let me introduce you,” he laughed and put an arm around me. He introduced me to Liz, Alex, and Bryan, who played Hippolyta, Theseus, and Demetrius, respectively.

“Leilei,” Gia feigned coughing and looked a tad uncomfortable, “can you go grab my water? It’s in my backpack.” I nodded, excusing myself from the conversation. When I returned, Jade and Gia were in a heated discussion about another castmate.

“Lay off a bit. Just because something’s easier for you, doesn’t mean the same for someone else,” Jade seethed, arms crossed defensively.

“But the show’s two weeks away,” Gine protested back.

“Yeah, and he’ll be fine come then, so just drop it.” I’d never seen Jade look so ticked off and I did not envy being on the receiving side of it. Gia snatched her bottle from me and stormed off.

Things didn’t get any better from there. After that night, Gia blew me off more and more, but she kept asking things of me. She grew more irritable with me when I tried striking up a conversation, even yelling at me when another stage crew member misplaced a prop. She also got increasingly annoyed when something wasn’t done perfectly. I essentially became her errand-boy–or girl, for that matter–or at least that’s what it felt like. She made me help her with her dress, hair, and makeup but then would admonish me for being in the green room(the place where actors get dressed for a show).

“Leilani, since you’re not doing anything important, can you go get me a drink from the cafe?” Gia called out to me right before the last dress rehearsal, while I was organizing props and ensuring everything was in the right place.

“Don’t worry, I’m only making sure your props are in the right place, but yeah, I can get your drink. What do you want?” I sighed.

“Anything caffeinated, and absolutely no dairy. I would, but I need to find Jade and ask him something.” I smiled at her but rolled my eyes as I walked away. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps pounding across the parking lot.

“Wait!” Jade yelled after me. “I’m coming with!” I stopped for a second to let him catch his breath before walking again.

“I thought Gia needed to talk to you?” I inquired.

“She said she liked me. I rejected her. I said, ‘Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair? Or rather, do I not, in the plainest truth tell you I do not, nor I cannot, love you?’” He smiled at his use of Shakespeare to reject someone.

“That’s Demetrius’s line isn’t it,” I laughed at the irony of Gia chasing after a guy who didn’t reciprocate her feelings, just like her play counterpart, Helena.

“Do you think she’ll be okay? I didn’t let her down too harshly, did I? You’re still friends, right?” Jade asked as he sat down in the passenger seat of my car. Friends. Do I even have any friends here? It certainly didn’t feel like it. Gia was fading away from me, Jade was nice but I wasn’t close enough to him or anyone else in the show to consider them friends. Being at theater used to be fun, but now it just felt lonely.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Jade’s voice brought me back to reality. We were still sitting in my car in the parking lot of the school. I took my hand off the gear shift and turned the car off.

“Sorry, I just need a minute,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Gia and I, we used to be close, but now it feels like she’s just treating me like her personal assistant. She thinks she’s the most important part of the show and everything has to go her way.”

“Everybody’s started to notice how she’s treating you,” he said quietly. “Theater is about working together to make something spectacular. Not one part is more important than another. People like that piss me off. I really wish she didn’t have a crush on me.” His eyes burned the same way as the day I caught him arguing with Gia. 

“And besides, I like someone else anyway,” he added as an afterthought. I asked who it was but he deflected and stated we should head back, advising me to grab a soda from the vending machine for Gia.

“Why didn’t you say anything to her?” Jade asked as we approached the auditorium. I explained to him that Gia has been my friend since elementary school and was one of the few close friends I had and that I was scared to do anything that might ruin it. Jade then offered to talk to Gia about it.

“Thanks, but this is something I have to deal with on my own. I don’t want to drag you into it,” I replied, declining his offer. Jade wished me luck before claiming that’d he’d always be a friend to me and getting in place for the final run-through.

Opening night came and throughout the show, I thought of what I was going to say to Gia, but I never had the chance. Constantly surrounded by fellow actors, there was never a time I could talk to her in private. I went to find her after the curtain call, but she became lost in the sea of audience members and the rest of the cast outside of the auditorium. Actors were gifted bouquets and congratulated on their performance and as I watched the cast jovially taking pictures with their friends and family, there was suddenly a pang of sorrow within me. There was that feeling again. There was nobody there for me, to congratulate me on a job well done. Though I was surrounded by people, I couldn’t help but feel more alone. I pushed through the crowd and made my way towards an unoccupied staircase near the green room. I sat down on the bottom step and let my long overdue tears fall. 

“There you are!” A voice exclaimed. I looked up and Jade was bounding down the hall toward me. “I’ve been looking for you!”

“Flowers,” he said, thrusting a colorful bouquet at me. “For the best stage crew I’ve had the pleasure of working wi—hey, what’s wrong?” He sat down on the step next to me. I took the flowers from him and wiped my eyes. 

“I’m not close to anyone here and I only joined because Gina wanted me to, and she’s treating me like crap. It just feels like nobody wants me here and I don’t belong. Sorry, you didn’t want to hear all that, you were just being nice.”

“Don’t say that! You’re amazing, Leilani,” he replied earnestly, embracing me. “And I do care about you. I want you here. ‘I do love nothing in the world so well as you—is not that strange?’”

“That’s not…in the show?”

“It’s not,” Jade smiled and shook his head, “You asked me who I liked, earlier. This is my answer.”

“Jade,” I didn’t know what to say. He’d comforted me the past few days and made me feel less alone than I had in a long time. And here he was confessing to me when I’d liked him for months. 

“Leilei!” A voice from around the corner bellowed, disrupting a beautiful moment. “Do you know where Bottom’s donkey head is? Ethan wanted to—what the actual fuck?!” Gia rounded the corner and froze staring and Jade’s arms wrapped around me. 

“God! I can’t believe I thought you were my friend,” Gia shouted at me.

“Friend?” I scoffed back. “Is that what we were? I ran lines with you for weeks, taking time out of my own schedule. I auditioned because you wanted us to do this together. You are the one who let the lead role go to your head. I’m only here because you wanted me to be, but all you’ve done is treat me like your personal assistant.” I grabbed the rest of my belongings and left the school, not looking back at Gia, who just stood there, presumably processing what I’d just said.

Over the next two days of shows, Gia never spoke to me or asked anything of me again. It felt nice to not be subject to her every whim. I spent more time with Jade and his friends, which soon became mine as well. I finally felt that sense of community I should have gotten from theater a while ago. 

On closing night during intermission, Gia pulled me aside in the green room. 

“Can we talk, please?” She pleaded with me. “I want to apologize.” I nodded, signaling to continue. 

“I’m really sorry, Leilani. I should never have treated you like that. I was just really stressed about the show and you know how I get when I’m stressed and don’t have control over things.” She looked like she was about to cry at any second. 

“I do, which is why I should have seen it coming.” I started to walk away from her but she stopped me. 

“Please, Leilei, I’m so sorry. It was really stupid of me to treat you how I did. Can we please be okay?” I stood there for a while, pondering how I wanted to respond. I don’t think there was anything that could fix what transpired in the last month. 

“I accept your apology,” I said finally. “But I can’t forgive you. I need some time to figure things out and think things through, but I think the curtain has fallen on our friendship.”