Talk With A Magi

“What’s it like?”

“...You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, you know.”

“Oh, sorry. I meant what’s it like to use magic?”

“Ahhh... Yes, I suppose you’d be curious about that.”

“...Well?”

“Well what?”

“You’re an ass, you know that?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

“Laugh it up. What’s it like?”

“It’s…hard to explain. I can certainly try, but I’m not sure how close my explanation will be. I can’t even guarantee that it will be accurate.”

“Surely it can’t be that hard to explain.”

“Have you ever tried to explain love? Or hunger? Or grief? You can get close, but you’ll never be able to fully describe what that feeling is. Using magic is a feeling, one with a tangible effect, but a feeling all the same.”

“Well…Yes, then. Try.”

“Try to what?”

“Again?!”

“I couldn’t resist. Alright…comfortable?”

“Don’t stall.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for trying.”

“I certainly can, and you’re still stalling!”

“Alright, alright. Well, I suppose it depends on what kind of magic you’re trying to use. I’m more suited to fire or lightning, but I’ve had lengthy conversations with magi who enter someone’s mind or form enchantments. Let’s see, where to start…”

“Stop. Stalling.”

“Fine, fine. When you cast a magic meant to cause harm, especially elemental, you have to…turn into that element. Fire is the most common due to it being anger or pain that fuels it, but you can have cold, calculating rage for ice, or the sudden burst of emotion that fuels lightning. Earth is steadfast will. Water is calm, collected, smooth. For obvious reasons, those are decidedly less common.”

“You mean the reason that most magi aren’t exactly the picture of calm natures and healthy coping mechanisms?”

“Exactly. Why try therapy when you can set someone’s ass on fire?”

“Kai…”

“Back on track-”

“Thank you.”

“Now who’s interrupting?”

“KAI!”

“Pushy pushy. When you actually form your magic, especially the kinds I’m familiar with…it’s like gathering all that anger up into your heart, feeding it with negative thoughts and emotions, and then ripping part of your heart out and throwing it into your target’s face, with the intent to utterly destroy them.”

“And that sounds utterly horrible!”

“You asked.”

“I did. Does it…hurt?”

“It’s a different kind of pain. You’ve felt grief, and that’s probably the best explanation. After all, most anger is simply a reaction to emotional harm. It’s experiencing that pain, caused by every negative memory that you pour into your attack, all at once and as fresh as the day that it happened.”

“And you willingly do that?!”

“You weren’t complaining earlier today.”

“I didn’t know what went into it then…”

“I understand your concern, but to put it simply, there’s not much of a choice for battlemages. Either we embrace those emotions or the men we’re supposed to protect die. Besides, it’s not as bad as it appears to be.”

“I bet I’m going to love this explanation…”

“Have you ever been to a mage tower?”

“They don’t let ‘mundanes’ like myself in.”

“That’s because you tend to gawk and ask the same questions over and over.”

“I don’t-! People have asked you what it feels like to use magic before, haven’t they?”

“That they have.”

“Ah…”

“I’ll have to take you by the Karthrite tower one of these days. Contrary to common belief, we aren’t all hunched over books as the roof leaks and armed guards look on with suspicion.”

“That’s not how I…okay, that’s a bit like I thought…”

“It’s a common misconception. Actually, the insides of the tower are quite bright and cheery. There’s usually music, whether by magical means or some invited minstrel playing in the Great Hall. It’s warm, lively, and quite festive. It has to be. Every time we come back from a battle, or a hunt, or some other assignment, those negative emotions are just stewing in our souls, ESPECIALLY when it comes to magi specializing in fire or ice. We have to have a true home to come to, friends smiling and welcoming us back. It helps us relax and let out those emotions so they don’t swirl around and drive us mad. When it’s not your turn to go out, then you understand the need to welcome the other magi back with a warm smile and a calm voice. Our ‘guards’ are nothing more than trusted friends, and they are just as much a part of our, well, family, as any of the magi living there. An unintended side effect is that magi stop looking down on those without magical talents as time goes on. Kein and Renvor, my own personal guards, have saved my life on multiple occasions. When that happens, you stop thinking of yourself as superior to non-magi, but rather born with a responsibility to use your gifts to protect your fellow man.”

“Not all mages think that way, you know.”

“Indeed not. If that were true, we wouldn’t have stories like Malgoth the Betrayer, Or’vun’dien the Murderous, or Kathathai the Treacherous. However, they are the minority, and in each one of those stories it took both magi AND mundane to bring the power-hungry tyrants down. You can focus on the bad or you can learn the lessons that those stories teach.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And yet you don’t sound convinced.”

“I’m not. After all, none of those dark magi could have spread the death they did WITHOUT magic. No magic, no dark magi.”

“As if men need magic to become tyrants. You’ve had no corrupt kings or treacherous generals who have launched countries into ruin or war?”

“...”

“Like I said, men don’t need magic. It’s not the magic to blame, but a corrupt nature. You can fear it or learn from it. In the end, we all bleed red. Division is not what defines us, but the moments of need where we stand as brothers and sisters, united against tyrants and mad magi, even when you think you have no hope of winning. That is true courage, and it is far greater than any spell.”