Tavern Girl

"The usual?”

“God yes, I’ve needed a drink for the past 8 hours.”

“...you were here finishing your last round of shots 8 hours ago.”

“And whenever there’s not a drink in my hand, it means I need one.”

“Take your ale Charmaine.”

“We both know that’s not that’s not the usual.

Give me the rum shots.”

“You know, if your father knew about this binging issue–”

“Ay! Don’t bring up my father here.

This tavern is a safe place for me.”

“One beer, and one shot.

Take it or leave it.”

“Alright, fine.

Since you’re giving me free boarding tonight.”

“Don’t give me that wink, I only let you stay here at no cost because I can’t lose my best customer.

This place stays afloat thanks to you.”

“Whatever you say, Fez.

But I think you have a soft spot for me.”

“I do not have a soft spot for you.

You just bring in good money.”

“Then why do you care about my drinking so much?”

“I can’t have your organs failing on you, can I?

Not if I’m gonna make a profit.”

“Well you can continue to say it’s all about the wealth to you, but I think I know the truth.”

“The truth is that you're a pain in the ass.

I don’t care anymore, have whatever you want.”

“Then you better whip up a second beer.”

“Fez! Get a round of shots for the pub!

On me, everyone!”

“Are you drunk or stupid?”

“Both, obviously.”

“We both know you don’t have the kind of cash for that.

Unless…You didn’t.”

“Having a rich daddy sure does pay off sometimes, doesn’t it?”

“For some people, but yours never gives you money unless you do what he wants.

Must’ve been something bad considering the state you're in right now.”

“I’m always drunk.”

“Not like this. What happened?”

“You’re being rather pushy aren’t you?

Leave me be.”

“Charmaine.”

“I told you to shove off, didn’t I?”

“I’m just worried, that’s all.”

“Well, well…ugh.”

“Oh god, that’s disgusting.

Here, try to puke in this basket instead of on my shirt.”

“Hey, hey!”

“What?

What’s wrong?”

“Jesus christ Fez, you scared the hell out of me.

I just heard noises and thought someone was here.

Screaming at you hurt my head too.”

“That’s because you're hungover.

You should stop drinking so much, your head would hurt less often.”

“But if I were to never stop drinking my head would also hurt less often. 

Can’t be hungover if you’re still drunk.”

“That is not a good philosophy.”

“Hey Fez, whose clothes are these?”

“Mine. You puked on yours.”

“Oh god.

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, the fact that you saw me throw up on myself, or that you changed my clothes for me.

I hope you were a gentleman and didn’t look.”

“You also puked on me, so trust me when I say I wasn’t looking.

I was just trying to get us cleaned up as quick as possible.

You promised the bar drinks, but you passed out so I gave it to them on the house.”

“Let me pay you. 

I may be immature and irresponsible but I appreciate you taking care of me. 

I have the money for what you made..”

“Keep your coins.”

“Are you mad?”

“A little, but not because of the drinks.

I’m mad that you aren’t taking care of yourself Charmaine. 

I just want you to care about your wellbeing a little more.

It’s all I ask.”

“So you do have a sweet spot for me?”

“Yes. 

But you’ll have to keep this as a fond memory because I won’t admit it again.”

“You don’t have to admit it again, I won’t let you forget about the first time.”

“Long time no see.

I’m glad to see your face Charmaine.”

“Look at that, you still remember my usual.”

“And you’re still my best customer.

I’m guessing your father finally let you back?”

“First time I’ve seen you in a year, and you bring up my father?”

“I told you then and I’ll tell you now; the money isn’t worth it.

Dealing with him and his demands is not worth the wealth.

Or the title you get by being his daughter.”

“Come on Fez, I didn’t come for a lecture.

I just wanted to see an old friend, and maybe get a bit wasted.”

“I’ll stop bugging you.

It really is good to see you.”

“I’m not too disappointed with your face either.”

“Fez! Get me my order please.”

“Do you want that with a place to stay for the night?”

“Can’t a girl get a few drinks, flirt with a few guys, and talk to her favorite barkeep without ulterior motives?”

“That’s a yes.”

“Well if you insist, I won’t say no to a free room.”

“Actually, follow me. 

There’s something I want to show you.”

“Wow Fez, leading a girl to a bedroom at this time of night?

With people still in the tavern?

I’m surprised.”

“Hush.”

“What are you showing me anyways?”

“While you were gone I was doing some thinking, and–”

“Thinking about me, were you?”

“I was thinking and I thought I might as well build a spare bedroom.

Right off of mine.

You know, in case anyone is charming enough to convince me to give them a free room.”

“Oh, I just–Oh.

 This is so nice of you. 

I’m not genuine a lot, but you really are a good friend.”

“I’m not gonna make you stay with your father. 

Not if you don’t have to, and not if you don’t want to.

You can stay with me as long as you like.

No charge.”

“I have never been more grateful for anyone in my entire life!”

“Wow, you’re stronger than I thought.”

“Well you’re weaker than I thought if a hug almost knocks you over.

I’m a tiny girl.”

“I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“If you say so.”

“Charmaine! 

Next two orders are yours!”

“I’ve barely been working here for a week, let me catch up a little!”

“You’re just upset because I’m a better bartender.”

“Of course you are!

You’ve been doing this since you were a young boy!

I swear you came out of the womb with a whiskey bottle and a shot glass.”

“It’s not very hard, I’ll give you some tips tomorrow night.”

“You better.”

“God, I haven’t been this hungover since, well since the day I met you.”

“I am a bad influence, aren’t I?”

“Yes, Charmaine Winters: Queen to be, raging alcoholic, and terrible influence.”

“Hey, I told you I’m not taking over.”

“Yes you are.

Now that your brother has passed, theirs no heir to the throne.”

“I’m not made for the royal life, Fez.

 I’m made for this life.

To be able to drink with you until the sun comes up and laugh when you're hungover.

To always come home to a warm bed without people shouting at me for being a failure.

To freely be myself, and not have a single person tell me I’m wrong in my beliefs!

And you said you didn’t want me to live with my father unless I had to, unless I wanted to.

Do you not want me to stay?”

“Damn it Charmaine! 

Of course I want you to stay! 

But you can’t. 

Trust me, I want you to stay here with me more than anything.”

“Then why don’t I?

When you think of your future, what do you see?

If you see me in it in any way I shouldn’t return to the palace.”

“I see you, a good and fair ruler of the realm.

 And I see me, running the pub–even though I only have two customers I night.”

“No.

I asked what you see.

Not what you decided the future had to be.

What do you want your life to look like?”

“Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“My father is sending his advisor tomorrow morning to ask for my decision.”

“And I trust you’ll make the right one.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“It’s your duty, your birthright.”

“I don't want to.

Fez, I really don’t want to leave you.”

“...I know.”

“I’m sorry that I argued with you this morning.”

“It’s alright Fez, I just can’t understand why you’d make me leave.”

“No one is making you.

I know you, you will make yourself.”

“But Fez, I want to have a life with you.”

“I know.”

“So we’re not a couple, so we’ve never talked about our feelings for one another or acted on them, it doesn’t mean we can’t be together now! We should be together!”

“Charmaine, don’t.”

“I love you.”

“I know.” 

“My god, stop saying I know!”

“I won’t say it back.

Part of the reason I never told you how I felt is because I always knew you’d have to leave.”

“How could you know that? You couldn't have. I know you love me.”

“I do.

And that’s exactly why you have to go.”

“Can’t you come with me?

I hate my father.”

“It was one thing to rebel when you were a princess who’d never be in rule.

But now you have the opportunity to be queen.

I want you stay, and I won’t make you go.

But I know you’ll make the right decision”

“I love you.”

“Come here.”

“My tears are getting on your shirt.”

“Shhh…I don’t care.”

“You should stay with me until the morning.”

“You know I will.”

“Fez, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me in the past five years.

And what you’ve done for me in the ten years I’ve known you.

I can’t believe this is goodbye.

Can’t you come?”

“It’s not allowed. 

You know that.”

“They’re calling for me.

I should go.”

“Wait, Charmaine.”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

“Goodbye Fez.”

“Hey there, I’ll be right with you.”

“I think I’ve waited long enough to see you again.”

“Charmaine?”

“I thought you’d know the voice.”

“How could I forget?”

“Aren’t you going to get your best customer a beer, and offer her a place to stay the night?”

“30 years apart, and you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Is that a no?”

“You know there’s always a place for you.

And we have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?”

“We can talk later. For now Fez, get me that drink.”