Strange Mind

It was dark outside, and I had just woken up from a strange dream that made no sense to me. But when I stared into the bathroom mirror, I saw what my eyes couldn't believe. I saw my face, I looked handsome. I could see how she saw me. Helen. She loved me. Loved me… but now we're both broken. I didn't feel like myself. I never loved looking at myself before. This mirror used to be meaningless. It was as if I was falling in love with who I was as a person. I'm in love, but I'm hurt. This didn't make sense. 

Vincent turned away from the mirror and sat on the bed that he missed so much. The same bed where they would sleep when she snuck out of her parent's house just to stay the night with him. He pulled the blanket over his chest and thought about Helen. She was here in the same bedroom and he was here too. They could see each other. Was this true? 

All these thoughts, he couldn't think. He felt pressured to think about things he didn't want to think about. He began to worry and stood up quickly to breathe. He always had trouble thinking. He went back into the bathroom in his apartment and washed his face with hot water. It soothed him, but that wasn't enough to calm him down. He wanted to see himself again. He stared at the mirror, admiring himself. He loved his jawline and his dark brown eyes and his black curly hair. He loved the mole on the left side of his chin. He never understood why he didn't love his appearance before. Vincent was a handsome young man and he was only twenty-four. He was very fit and worked out whenever he felt like it. 

He left the bathroom and the apartment into the cold night. He didn't know where he was going, but it seemed to bother him now how much the apartment hurt him. Those memories were all he had left and they stay in the same place he lived in. 

Getting into his car, he began to drive away from the apartment and swore he never go back.

He had no money and was sure his boss would fire him the next day because of how different he's acting. Getting fired at the Moon diner… How sad. He loved eating there.

Vincent got out of the car. His mind was elsewhere. He never stopped the car.

“Vincent… …wake up please?” He heard a voice say, but he couldn't open his eyes. He didn't want to. All he could see was himself and someone else, but he didn't know who they were. He was going to ask their name but was shaken awake the moment he began to speak. 

Vincent opened his eyes. He saw a woman that was supposed to be his mom.

“I was so scared, I don't know what you were thinking! Mindy and Charles were crying all day when they heard about what you did.” 

“What did I do?” Vincent asked.

“You tried to…kill yourself, Vince.

Vincent looked at her, confused. “No, I didn't.” 

His mother looked into his eyes. “I can't find my son”

“I'm right here mom.”

“That isn't what I meant. I mean I can't see him. Your eyes… This doesn't make sense.”

“What doesn't make sense?” He asked her, but before she could answer, someone came into the room. He realized he was in the hospital as soon as he saw the doctor. 

“Mrs. King you need to leave.” Said the man.

When his mother left and kissed him on the forehead, he didn't understand one thing. Why couldn't he have felt her motherly love? This was his mother, after all? 

The next day, he left the hospital, but before he asked one of the doctors how long he had been there?

“You were here for a month.”

Vincent went inside his mother's car, and he stared at the man until he was out of sight. 

“Do you want to get something to eat?” His mother asked him. 

“No, I’m not hungry.”

“You’re always hungry Vincent. We can go to Moon’s?” 

“I don’t want to work there anymore…”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

His mother laughed and Vincent raised his eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing it’s just that Helen would always say the same thing whenever she couldn’t think of anything else to say.”

“Oh.” Was only Vincent’s response. Helen was always like that. She didn’t like communication very much because she was a very non-sociable girl. She could only socialize with people she was close to He was the same way, but he doesn’t remember being like that at all. 

When they got home, Vincent saw that he was not back at the apartment. He was at his mother’s house and his mother had very strict rules, but he didn’t know his mother very well.  

“Well go inside silly and watch some TV so I can make us something to eat.”

Vincent went inside the house he couldn’t remember being in before. He looked around the hallway, which was small and had three doors. He turned away and walked into the living room. When he got there, he was surprised that someone was already there, and it was his father, sitting on the couch watching the news on the television. 

“Hey, son how’s your leg doing?”

Vincent had completely forgotten that he was hurt, but he never felt any pain, to be honest. Was that weird?

“No. I’m good.”

His dad laughed. “Strong man. You are! Just like your old man!”

Then his face turned serious.

“What made you do it? “He asked.

“I don’t remember.” Said Victor honestly. “All I remember is seeing someone.”

“Who did you see son?”

“Me.”

His dad stared at him for a long time.

“Victor I and your mother are thinking that you might have problems.”

“I don’t have problems dad.”

“You haven’t been acting the same son.”

“I know I haven’t.”

“Then what’s wrong? Tell me, boy! You used to tell me everything! You were never this secretive.” 

Vincent never told his dad anything and after an argument, his dad left, and his mom came into the living room with a bowl of soup in each of her hands. She set the bowl down on the coffee table in front of her son. But she didn’t know if this was even her son anymore. 

He acted differently. He’s acting like Helen. Ever since Helen died, Victor had been despondent and distant. 

“Is it about her? “She asked him.

“Who’s her? Vincent asked.

“Helen. I know you miss her Vincent but she’s dead and she can’t come back.”

“She did and I’m right here.”