Where There Is Hope, There Is Life

   Where There Is Hope, There Is Life

Suzanne Marsh

Ashley Martin sat quietly, waiting for Doctor John Lafferty to enter. She had not been feeling like her usual self, so she decided it was time for her checkup. Ashley had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that there was something terribly wrong, she kept telling herself to remain calm. There was a light knock on the door of the examining room, then her physician entered, but there was no smile on his face, Fear was taking a foothold as he approached Ashley. Doctor John Lafferty, gave Ashley the impression of deep concern:

“Ashley, there is no easy way for me to tell you this, but your mammogram came back

positive. You are going to have to make some difficult decisions in the day s to come.”

Ashley, was taken aback, she was only sixty-four years old, how could this be happening to her? She wanted to run out the examining room, instead she waited as the doctor continued:

“It is pretty far advanced, so I recommend a radical mastectomy, removal of both breasts.

Then we will do chemo at least two rounds. Ashley, please keep in mind that where

there is hope, there is life. You have to fight this thing, just as you fought when you

had Alli, when things looked so bad, yet she pulled through, so will you.”

Ashley said a silent prayer that Doctor Lafferty was correct. Alli was about to make her a grandmother for the first time. She had to find a way to fight this thing, no one was going to keep her from seeing her first grandbaby. She thanked the doctor, he handed her several pamphlets to read, to aid her in

making her decisions about her care.

Ashley had no idea how to tell Alli, what she was about to face, they had always been just mother and daughter. Ashley had not married Alli’s father, she had no idea where he was or what he was doing. She remembered his name Peter Hamilton, he was so handsome, red hair, green eyes, pure alabaster skin. Alli, looked a lot like him, which over the years had helped to heal her broken heart.

Ashley, pulled out of the parking lot and drove home, she pulled into the driveway, sat in the car, crying as she began to realize just exactly what Doctor Lafferty had told her. How could she cope with this, how could she help Alli to cope? Death did not scare her; she had come close a few times. She had almost bled to death when Alli was born. She also knew she was going to have to make some hard decisions. Finally, Ashley climbed out of the car, taking the pamphlets with her. She hid them in her dresser drawer so Alli would not see them, she would find a way to tell her without alarming her. Alli, had found happiness with Mark, she was having her first child.

Later that evening, Ashley, sat down and red the pamphlets the doctor gave her. Her chances were about fifty, fifty at least for the moment. She called the doctor’s office the following morning. She would undergo the radical mastectomy, then the chemo. She hoped she would make it, she had never been a hospital except for when Alli was born. She sighed after she made the arrangements, she knew she would have no breasts after the surgery, but the doctor had mentioned that there were ways to solve problems like fake ones. Ashley felt as if her entire world was collapsing around her, consuming her. She had made her decision to fight this thing no matter what.

The following morning, Ashley called Alli:

“Hello sweetie, how's the mom to be?” Alli, could hear the change in her mother’s trembling voice. Alli, was alarmed at the sound of her mother’s voice. Her mother did not want to betray her fear:

“Alli, I saw the doctor today, I wish it were better news, but it isn’t. I have stage…

Before Ashley could get the rest of the words out, Alli began to sob:

“Mom, how could have missed that you had a physical, what six months ago?”

Ashley, was trying to remain calm as Alli quietly asked:

“When is the surgery?”

Ashley, had never been able to hide anything from Alli:

“Thursday at eight in the morning.”

“Mom, I will be there, you don’t; have to do this alone. I can get a plane out this afternoon.”

Ashley felt somewhat better, but she hated the thought that Alli was going to fly home from Hawaii, where the weather was always warm, she had visited Alli there a month ago.

Alli arrived at the hospital as her mother was being wheeled out of her room going to the operating room. Alli, held her hand:

“Mom, I love you, you are going to be fine. Doctor Lafferty is the best.” Ashley smiled at Alli, as she released Alli’s hand. Alli sat staring at the television as the minutes turned into hours. Something inside Alli told her the longer her mom was in the operating room, the less chance she had. Shortly before five o’clock doctor Lafferty strode into the waiting area, stopping directly in front of Alli:

“Alli, she came through the surgery, but it has metastasized, she has maybe a year. She is

fighting Alli, that is all we can hope for. They will bring her back to her room in about

an hour, you can see her then.”

Alli, sat there in utter silence, she felt as if her entire world had just fell apart. Her beautiful mom, who had made such a difference in her life. Her mom, who sacrificed everything to make her happy. There had to be something she could. She would come back home, Tony, was due for reassignment to the states, Bremerton, Washington, was only about an hour away from her mom’s home. Once she regained her composure, Alli punched in Tony’s cell phone number. Tony’s deep voice was so soothing as Alli made the effort not to fall apart:

“Tony, my mom…”

“Honey just stay calm, I can get some leave, I got my new orders, Bremerton.”

“Tony, I want to stay close to mom, she has stage four, they don’t expect her to

live another year.” She blurted out.

“I understand Alli, you stay with your mom, I can come home almost every night.”

Alli, wanted to weep tears of joy, and tears of fear and sorrow at the same time. This was going to be a challenge to the three of them.

December 25^th Alli gave birth to a son Anthony, Ashley held the boy carefully, her breathing a struggle. She made it to see her first grandson born, what a special gift. December 27, Ashley passed away, her one hope had been granted.