Fantasy Tickets

People ask me what I’ve been doing the past ten years with my life and I tell them the same thing: going to the library, doing masterclasses, writing stories with pen and paper and taking the occasional film program. The last film program I was in was called inter-story where we learned to video edit using Final Cut by making a five minute animation about our lives. I did well in that small class because in the prior five years I learned how to write comedy, mostly by watching the Simpsons and trying to write my own episode. That class was five years ago and after that finished I was on my own again. I was hoping by going back to my day-to-day life and combining that my new technical ability, I could somehow manifest that into a brilliant story. 

I’ve been planning to go to Tokyo for the past ten years. My brother owns a food business and goes to Japan every year to check out new products. Even though I worked for his company for a year, I didn’t get to go on trip with him. So I started working regular jobs to save up for my own trip. I never thought I’d work with cars. I hate cars. Now I know where the tire psi sticker is, how to boost a dead car and how to sell discarded tires out the back of a tire shop. You’d be surprised how many people throw out barely worn out tires, especially on the west side of town where the rich people live. That was my first side hustle ever, I never sold chocolate bars at school or anything like that. I always thought books were my ticket out of poverty. I was really wrong about that.

Soon after I bought my first iPhone after reading you could open your own video business with just a phone. And then I joined the biggest business association in the city, The Board Trade, in hopes of finding customers. I ended up making my first $100 and then $1000 but my work was really weak. I felt bad taking money from people who could barely afford it and then giving them something I barely knew how to make. I put the business side of film on hold for now.

Working a regular job again was not in the plans. I kept thinking each job would be the last one forever. I thought every new thing I wrote or every contest I entered would be the last one too. My attitude towards it was kind of like buying a lottery ticket. Every new project was my new ticket out of the monotony. I’d fantasy for days about how I was going to the spend the money I won. I was going to be a humble winner and go on living exactly the same except for becoming a filmmaker full-time. I could go travel for the first time in forever with my own money. But eventually the winner would be announced and it was never me, not even close. I never made it out of the first round of any contest. The day after you lose is always feels the most discouraging and makes you want to quit. However the second day after is always feels the most motivating. I’ve since forgotten both those feelings, now it all just seems the same and I don’t get too high or low (which is better).

When covid hit I decide to do something I hadn’t done in a while. I played Tekken on my PC again. However this time I decided I would rank up online to challenge myself, from rookie to bronze, bronze to silver and all the way up to diamond rank. Even at the lowest rank, you start losing the same people over and over again. These people are on the same level as you and you’ll never beat them unless you learn your lesson. So you’re in an endless cycle until you learn from your mistakes and start implementing new concepts. Once you learn something new, usually from a YouTuber video, you can implement it and beat that person you keep losing to. Now you leveled up and they can’t beat you until they learn. This cycle is repeated over and over in every rank. I reached diamond rank after 13 months.

This month I received an email from my credit card company letting me know I could fly anywhere in the world for free. I still wanted to go to Japan and the time was right. Recently I’ve been able to string a few film related jobs together. Then the TV show I was working on as an editor was been put on hiatus. I don’t know when the show will come back for season two but I guess since season one hasn’t aired yet, this is the time to go.

It’s cherry blossom season in Japan right now but I’m not going there for that since there are cherry blossom trees lining my block already. I moved back into my parent's house one month ago so I didn't have to pay rent. And today the employment standard branch emailed me about $4000 unpaid freelance wages from last year. I put in a compliant last year so it took a while for them to respond. Also I just got my tax return for $2800. After checking airbnb, a capsule hotel for a month would be as cheap as $900. So I’m thinking should I go?

I’m starting to fantasize again. I would be doing the exact the same thing I do here: going to the library, doing masterclasses and writing stories with pen and paper. I’m not going for inspiration or motivation. The circumstances are just right and it might even be cheaper to write there. Plus they have better 7-11 food. This flight ticket might be better than a lottery ticket.