Twisted Guilt

TW: suicide, mental health, violence

Page from Christa Bourn’s Diary, Undated

The fire cracked, occasionally shooting a spark at my legs. Melted marshmallows stuck to my chin, and there was no bathroom nearby to clean up. I had anywhere from twenty-five to fifty mosquito bites. On paper, the company retreat was just encouraged, but our boss really pushed it on us. Echelon Peak wanted us to experience being out in the wilderness not having basic human rights and decencies for a night.

Most of the group went swimming in the lake, but Eric, Luna, and I stayed behind. Honestly, I was a little nervous to be seen in my swimsuit. I know how important body positivity is, but it’s been harder to practice what I preach. Luna has OCD and chose not to swim because she was scared of lake bacteria. At the time, I thought Eric stayed behind because he thought we were his friends and wasn’t comfortable in the larger crowd. Looking back now, there very well could’ve been more to the reason. I never said this out loud, not even to my attorney, but I was shocked he didn’t use that night as an opportunity to sexually take advantage of us. Maybe he would’ve if he had more time.

Eric joked around with Luna about taking her second s’more. She was polite to him, but I could tell by her lack of words that she couldn’t stand him. I felt bad for her too. She had attempted suicide a couple months prior, and the people at work weren’t even supportive. They We, I have to admit, just talked about how she was weird and missed a shitton of work. “I’m gonna take a walk. I’ll be back in ten to fifteen minutes,” she said.

The moment she was gone, and it was just Eric and I, he really tried to care he really tried to act like he cared. He asked how my family was and how I liked working with the company. I used to think that Eric would’ve had to have known that he was a psycho. But now I wonder. If bad people have no concept of morality, how would they know that they didn’t have any?

About five minutes after Luna left, I heard the scream.

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Christa Bourn’s Interview with the Police, 8/20/25

“Christa, we want you to tell us everything you can about that night.”

“Luna went on a walk by herself. Then we heard her scream. Blood-curdling, like every single being in the whole neck of the woods could’ve heard it. I thought she was screaming because she saw a snake. Eric and I ran to her, not thinking much else. And then I saw the body and… I kind of disassociated. I needed to mentally check out because I couldn’t wrap my mind around what I saw.”

“Alright, here’s what we know. This wasn’t some wild animal. This girl was stabbed and murdered silently in cold blood. Someone did this, and we’re gonna get to the bottom of it.”

“I would never want to accuse someone of something like this, but Eric has acted in certain ways in the past… I can see how it could’ve escalated to a worse point.”

“Can you agree that Hazel Nash deserves justice?”

“Of course.”

“And you’re not here trying to get anyone else in trouble, you’re here to help us uncover the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Christa, do you have anything in your personnel file that we should know about or that you'd like to discuss?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“How about when you got into a physical altercation with someone at work in April?”

“It wasn’t a full-on altercation. A coworker and I were working a shift together, and we disagreed on something. Things got heated verbally, but the only physical thing that happened was one slap to the face.”

“You slapped the victim in the face. The altercation was between you and Ms. Nash, and you slapped her in the face. Do you understand why this caught our attention?”

“Are you saying that because of this, that you think I killed her?”

“We’re not accusing you of anything.”

“Well, the way this conversation is going, it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. I’d like a lawyer.”

“This is a voluntary interview. You’re free to exit this door and seek legal advice. Christa, you’ve got to understand, the murder weapon hasn’t been found yet. The victim just stepped out of the lake when this happened. There are no handprints, no footprints that can be tied to her murder alone. We will find more answers, but right now, all we have are interviews.”

“Are you even investigating the other employees who were there last night?"

“We’re working on it.”

“After that incident months ago, we made up the next day. My boss just talked with us about conflict resolution policies, we didn’t even get in any trouble. I slapped her in the face once, I didn’t want her to die.”

“Those were all the questions we had for you at this time. We’ll let you know when we have any updates.”

“Detectives, I didn’t do this.”

“Thank you, Christa.”

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Luna Stevens’ Interview with the Police, 8/20/25

“Has Christa ever acted in ways that would explain this?”

“Oh, God, no. She’s one of the nicest, most genuine people that I’ve worked with. She would never murder someone, especially her friend and coworker, silently in cold blood.”

“Thank you, Luna. That was all the questions we had.”

“That was just one question.”

“And we appreciate your help. You’re free to go.”

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Eric Harvey’s Interview with the Police, 8/20/25

“Eric, I’ve got to be honest with you. Your friends aren’t your biggest fans. They’ve said that you exhibited aggression in the past, and even hinted that they think it’s possible that you would do something like this.”

“I would never do something like this. I would never kill an innocent girl.”

“We believe you. Is there anything you’d like to say about that night, any questions you’d like to ask?”

“I hope whoever killed that sweet girl is found, and that justice is served.”

“Thank you, Eric.”

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Phone Call Between Christa Bourn and Ted Apple Esq. 8/21/25

“I have some unfortunate news.”

“Oh my god, what is it?”

“The police admitted that, based on all witness statements and your prior incident with the victim, you are their primary suspect.”

“Oh, my god. What am I gonna do? I’m gonna go to prison for the rest of my life, right?”

“We’re not out of the woods yet, but I’m going to do everything I can to get the truth uncovered.”

“The damage is already done. If they had any more evidence, someone else would already be in jail. They’re not going to find anything else.”

“Take a deep breath, okay?”

“No, I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know how to handle this. I can’t stop spiraling. What if I’m crazy? The police think I did this, what if they’re right?”

“Christa, do you have any memory of doing this?”

“No, but what if I did? What if I did this and didn’t know it?”

“Innocent people get arrested all the time. That’s why I have my job. Take a deep breath, Christa, okay?”

“I knew this would happen. This was my worst fear, and it’s happening.”

“Nothing’s happening yet, and they promised me that if they’re going to arrest you, that they’d coordinate your arrest through me. I’m going to help you in every way that I can.”

“Everyone’s gonna think that I’m guilty of this, that I killed her. I can’t live like that. I can’t live in prison. I’m gonna lose everything. I’ve got to get out before it’s too late.”

“What do you mean, ‘get out?’ Christa, stay on the phone with me, okay? We’ll talk through this.”

“I don’t want to be stuck somewhere. There’s not much else you or anyone else can do.”

“Christa, you’re breaking up. I want you to talk me through what you’re doing right now.”

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Phone Call Between Ted Apple Esq. and Det. Drake Yates 8/22/25

“Ted Apple Esquire… Detective Berry and I are so sorry for the stress that this investigation has caused. Is Christa going to be okay? Are there any updates?”

“I don’t know if I would use the word okay. She’s going to be alive. Probably. She has severe brain damage. The police got there just in time to save her life, but too late to give her much quality of it. She’s sure as hell not going to be fit to stand trial.”

“Mr. Apple… There’s no easy way to say this.”

“What is it, Detective?”

“Last night, literally fifteen minutes before her attempt… We found something supporting her innocence.”

“Supporting her innocence to what degree?”

“Another coworker from the retreat came forward and confessed. They’ve been arrested and are being processed in jail for the murder of Hazel Nash.”

"You failed her."

"Mr. Apple, I'm-- we're so sorry."

"You had tunnel vision during this entire case, almost sent her to prison based on virtually no evidence so you could save on resources. By the grace of God, the true suspect turned themselves in for you. Detective, someone murdered an innocent girl. But you almost did too."