Dear Abby

I had my hair done today. My appointment was at three pm. At first I thought I could perm my hair myself. Something about a stylist’s expertise that is more satisfying than mere me,

I have had a very long relationship with my hair. Today I am tilting my hair to the left for fullness to take my BEFORE selfie( (evidentiary support). Wait until you see my AFTER!

The fastness of jokes and phone calls in a hair saloon rejuvenates me a mere housewife from a very dull town over the hill. Most wives in out town barely go outside. Life is very slow in my town. When we were planning to buy a home here, we checked all statistics. Gas station nearby 0, supermarket nearby 0, hospital 0, telephone company 0. Was there anything within a 10 mile radius 0.

The homes were attractive. Built for housewives who were inclined to have partied and made school drop offs.

My schedule for the day was to stop at a hair saloon and pick laundry. Rush home where French windows which surround the entire first floor of the house needed some cleaning. Of course I will do that.

Bouncing my hair with my new hairdo while marching in and out of the house cleaning my windows of my house is an experience dreams are made of,

It was a very slow life and our families can never complain about absent parents or our children

One more .fun event were trips to the city. A special ride was required for this day which is usually planned way in advance. The car is washed and a full tank of gas is required . Because I don’t like kids who fight and scratch each other in the car, I always have snacks for them. Carrot and cut apples dipped in caramel. It is always the same snack come rain or sunshine,

By the time we arrive in the city either my eldest daughter is close to a book reading or my younger boys are throwing a sponge ball teasing each other. My husband is always silent on these drives. He always wear a turtle neck and self belt pants. My brother bought him pants which my brother called ‘self belt ‘ they have no hooks to use a belt through. That’s how my husband was introduced to self belts.

My husband is good looking. He is a medium built gentleman with a slim built. He is also middle aged. He has a bald spot at the toe top of his head,He is not talkative. I think his being an only child accompanied a secret rule of no talking. Now or ever.

What attracted me to him was his rugged looks which make him look like a country singer:model if he wore Levi jeans.

He is timeless. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how I know him. I became modest after dating him. He was too handsome to speak with.So having my hair done is one of many ploys that I use to lure him into my person, even if it also has a perk benefit of a dinner in town,

Because of the remoteness of our lifestyle and home are, we have made all sorts of rituals desperate to have our family derive meaning, meaningfulness, awareness, self awareness,,wellness, well being!.

The main reason why our looks are important is during our dinners in town, not only do we mingle with the upper class of our state, we also have opportunities to be around the - what seems to be ‘chosen ones’. They are those with dinner meetings, dinner dates, dinners before flying out etc.

Almost always we cross paths with our Accountant or family Attorney. I think that my husband prompts our Accountant ahead of time to accidentally run into us in town and say hello like it was an co incident. I find that to be very cute,.

I usually share my selfie with my family. “Guys take a look,. This is how my hair looked like before I had it done at the hair saloon “

My kids always look at the. Selfie critique it and then take another photos of me and make a video of me and my new hair style, My family is slow and methodical. Whatever we are competing for, we may not run the fastest at the beginning of the competition but we are likely to be one of the few left standing at the end of the marathon.

Abby, is this a better way to take care of my kids and to have my marriage as it should be or are we too slow? Why aren’t we hip! Is our car too old? Are we too safe? Do we need some push to be relevant? I was shocked when we decided to find a home away from the city. It was not a well thought out idea. It just happened. Why did it happen ? I thought that my husband was too good looking to live in an apartment. I wonder what that means? It means something because it is a huge part of why we left the city.

I think that the memory of my college friend who got married in the countryside influenced our decision, my decision to mention it to a safe apartment and a happy husband, it is not clear if there was a negative impact in our leaving the city for the remote suburbs. As a wife I have adopted a bad habit of reviewing our decision and move on without honestly of exchanging well thought out information about the results and the effects of our decision. Was it our decision?

“I don’t mind honey, the drive won’t be that bad.”….” I just have to wake up earlier that’s all.”

Something deep down inside me says there is a tone here. What is that tone? I silently think hoping for an answer. Lately my mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be before I kept track of my thinking.

My husband on the other hand says nothing. He looks at me when I am talking and says nothing. Does this bother me? I am not sure.